Too Little, Too Late

Since I am too awake to fall asleep on my wet hair, here I am again, blogging to kill time. Hur.

First things first. As much as I felt your apology was probably the first one you ever meant deep down, it was just too little too late. Just return me my things, don't make me turn things ugly. Things are already as ugly as they can get already, so please, don't push me over the edge.

---

Friday, was so exhilarated from getting my pay after 2 fucking broke months, I was literally delirious. On my way out, I was such a happy bunny listening to the radio play clubbing music and smiling to myself like an absolute crazy moron. LOL.

Elena and I celebrated pay day by drinking a flaming lambo each on empty stomachs. Haha. Sadly, like Bessy said, the alcohol was wasted on us because we barely got high. Then I got to meet Denise darling after almost 7 weeks! I've missed you so much darling. Let me know when you're not on flight and we'll do coffee okay? Loves!

After Phuture and Zouk both closed, we continued our clubbing escapade to Dragonfly, which closed 5 minutes upon our arrival. Hahaha. I feel like a fucking alcoholic these days man. -sayangs liver- LOL!

Saturday, cabbed home from Silly's place to shower and change before heading out again to meet the "current" usual suspects. Had dinner while watching my very first R21 movie (Yes, I'm slow can), Saw 4.

I know, how can I have dinner while watching such a gory movie right? But honestly, I found Saw 4 boring, I was happily enjoying my fish and chips while watching them rip body parts like no body's business.

After the movie, chilled at NYDC for awhile before heading back to the cinema for Beowulf. It was yet but another boring movie. Bessy actually fell asleep 1/4 into the movie. Haha. The only conclusion I could get from Beowulf was that, the dick and the brain are unable to function together.

See, the plan was to NOT club because we were all too exhausted but I got a phone call and a text from 2 different people asking why my ass wasn't parked at Zouk. Haha.

While smoking after the movie, I bumped into Adah! Omfg, 5 fucking years never see her and she hasn't changed one tiny bit. Still the same old silly ah lian. (: If you do read this babe, it was really nice catching up with you over cigarettes. To think I used to nag at you bout smoking back during KC days. Hurhur.

Got 4 our asses to Zouk and met dear OLD Tox there with my long deserved alcoholic treat. Hahaha. It was nice seeing you too. Glad we managed to catch up. Remember, want to find girlfriend, please be patient okay? Haha.

Not forgetting my dearest glam podium queen Marilyn. It's so good that I've been seeing you at least once a week the past 2 weeks. You have no idea how much I missed you.

So anyway, I still have yet to do any shopping while Elena spent 200 bucks within 15 minutes at Guess. Haha. Monday's my day! I am going shopping alone! YAY! (Note to self, book respective appointments with Suzanne & Browhaus)

And and and, I still want to watch Stardust. -nudges silly- ((:

"I loved you with a firein red, now it's turning blue
And you say "Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late"

`Spinning: Timbaland Feat. One Republic - Apologize

Happy Happy Me!

Omg. I just had to blog and spread my happiness please! MY FUCKING PAY IS IN! Omg omg omg! SO HAPPY LA! Words cannot describe how happy I am can?! LOL.

I have a whole list of things to buy which I've been mentally making up while waiting for my pay to come in the past 2 months. It's been months since I've shopped so tomorrow, I am going shopping! Wheee~

I need to buy my 2008 organiser, Christmas cards, slippers and underwear (again). At least these are the stuff I'm definitely going to buy. So exciting!

Then tonight, it's Zouk with all my darlings. The plan is for everyone to get high. Then Zen and I have another evil plan. Hahaha. If we do execute the plan, I will blog about it here. LOL.

Okay, as you can tell, I'm extremely happy, happy mad kind. So yes, I'm going to sign off here before more nonsense comes blabbering out.

`Spinning: Gwen Stefani - Wind It Up

Because Of You

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

---

And I really hate it.

`Spinning: ATB & Paul Van Dyk - Rave Me

Facebook Me

I finally joined Facebook. Okay I know, I'm super slow like a mountain tortoise but so what? Haha.

I was adamant to not join Facebook because, I just didn't want to. Just like when how Friendster first came out and I didn't want to join until I remember Ryna and Quek psycho-ed me into it. This time, every other person who talks to me on MSN asks me if I have a Facebook account. Every time I say no, they start the "Join Facebook" campaign. -.-

Until Zen kept on badgering me this afternoon, telling me the benefits, this and that and I cannot remember what else. Haha. Then she continued with telling me bout (fluff)Friends because she remembers that I have a secret obsession with Neopets. LOL. (I haven't logged into Neopets after I discovered the wonders of World of Warcraft)

So I gave in, because I was tired of everyone asking why I don't do Facebook. God. This is called PEER PRESSURE! Now that I'm in, people are telling me I'm going to get addicted. Lol. Honestly? I doubt so. Facebook is definitely not as addictive as WoW but it is true that it's good to kill time when one's bored.

So yes, just add me and stop badgering me already. Haha. The name's Drea Lim, too many bloody Andrea Lim's already.

---

Strangely, I actually do miss you but it's a good thing I think? I hope it's a good thing. Not you but you, yes you.

`Spinning: Groove Armada - Song 4 Mutya (Out of Control)

Emo Is Contagious

I texted Bessy earlier and told her that I may have just caught her emo nemo disease. Haha. Last night I was emo bout something. Tonight, it's about an entirely different thing.

Sometimes, I think I stress myself way too much. Relax Andrea, relax! I need to be serious about the right things and I never seem to be able to do that.

But Bessy is right. What the hell am I emo-ing about. Seriously, I have no idea please. Don't know why emo also. Knn, slap me la please someone. I should be enjoying what's going on in my life now, not emo-ing over it. But I can't help thinking bout the what if's.

I guess, it all boils down to, I'm scared. Know what, the previous paragraphs don't even make sense to me.

"If I wrote you a symphony,
Just to say how much you mean to me
(what would you do?)
If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular
(tell me, would you?)"

`Spinning: Justin Timberlake - My Love (Paul Oakenfold Remix)

Closure

Know, love is seriously unfathomable. To one, it may mean something, to another, it's an entire different story.

I had a long chat session with Silly today and we both agreed that love is seriously overrated. My conclusion? So much for I love you.

So I camped out on MSN for a long long time and spoke to loads of people whom I haven't been talking to for eons and I'm really glad I did. It just made me realise, how much I miss all my friends, how much I love them and hopefully how much they love me. Haha.

Then there are those, whom I'm still disappointed with. That's why love is overrated. Be it love between friends, family or lovers.

Friendships do actually fall apart, even after going through hell together in Sec 4, watching each other grow up from the adolescent teen years. I miss my best friend, and I hate it that I always feel like I come in last. Know, I doubt you even read my blog anymore so what the hell.

But of course, there are those who always make me smile no matter what.

The conversation I had with Maye darling made me laugh like crazy and I truly wish I could just put it here but I can't because, well, after so much drama, I'd much rather a quiet life now.

After the countless conversations with various people, I realised something. I was never truly happy with you, never. I'm glad it ended the way it ended because, it just proves, that's the person you want everyone to perceive you to be. And as sad as it may sound, I never did realise I already fell out of love with you, until now, a month later, all I can feel is stupid because I actually put up with the insults and pain you inflicted on me.

You, are one person that I regret so much. That's saying something when I do not even regret my one night stands. Watch your back won't you? Karma will come for you.

As Aly & AJ sings in Potential Break Up Song,

Now all I want is just my stuff back
Do you get that? Let me repeat that
I want my stuff back
You can send it in a box
I don't care just drop it off
I won't be home
Cuz without me, you know you're lost
Minus you I'm better off
Soon you will know

Just return my stuff back won't you? I'm more than ready to move along.

`Spinning: Rihanna - Shut Up & Drive

Alcohol Induced Euphoria

Well well well, I'm back. ((:

Everything has been going fantastically well. Had the craziest long weekend ever and I can't even remember when was the last time I had so much fun like that.

Wednesday, Silly and Bessy came to pick me up before heading down to Toca for a beer then to Zouk where Jie and Zen came to join us shortly after. After Phuture closed, Jo came down and we mambo-ed till closing. LOL.

Thursday, with 3 hours of sleep, headed to JB with Mummy, Lil' Brat, Simon & Mage in Shining Armour. Bought loads of "stuff" but I shan't say what. x: Then it was the fucktastic dinner. Yummy. Got back to Singapore, took a bus to Newton then Mage in Shining armour dropped me at Play. Was there think for an hour then I got really high because Xiao Xin bought me a Tequila Pop. LOL

Friday, armed with yet again only 3 hours of sleep, went out with Mummy and Lil Brat the entire afternoon before meeting Silly and Bessy at Bugis. Then it was to Jo's chalet. All I can say about the chalet is, LOL. Words cannot describe all the madness that went on. Hope you had fun Jo. ((:

Saturday, after contemplating and some bugging from Jo, I ended up at Zouk, high for the 3rd night in the row. LOL.

Okay la, I'm lazy to go into details also. All I know is, Denise is coming back in 3 days, Jac in 12 days. I can't wait to see you guys.

Silly. ((:

`Spinning: Mario - Just A Friend

I am here to announce that yes, I am still alive and kicking. Haha. I have avoided coming online, because, I just don't feel like it, I guess. E-mail hasn't been checked for a million years and I'm not intending to check it anyway.

Every time someone asks if I'm okay, my only reply would be "I'm not okay, but not not okay either, I guess the best answer would be that I'm alive and kicking." (:

It's been a week and yet, the memories of you walking away are still so fresh in my head. In a sense, I've been expecting this but I guess it came too sudden. I actually woke mummy up at 0700 hours on a Sunday morning and cried to her for 2 entire hours non stop.

In other words, I'm also out of the closet to mummy. LOL. Which is also obvious enough just that I never said it out loud. But it sucks I guess, she's treating me so fragile like I'm a time bomb going to explode anytime. I don't even dare to cry in front of her, because I know she's worried.

It's been hard, pretending I'm okay so as to not make her worry but I guess I've been doing well enough, at least, I think so.

Besides all that, I've just been staying home, first couple of days, I killed time by reading Harry Potter AGAIN for the 1000th time. LOL.

From last Thursday till Sunday, I killed time by spending time with my lock and void walker because Mike finally was done with his laptop, 1 and a half more bars before I ding to 43 (If you do not understand this sentence, it's because it's bout WoW.)

Yesterday and today, I killed time by finishing up this Hong Kong drama serial that mummy's been watching. Yeah, I cried like a baby during the emo parts just like how I cried while watching the last episode of the 2100 hours show yesterday. Hur.

But that's just me I guess, I'm a cry baby and that will never change. BUT BUT, I've been good, the entire week I only cried on Sunday, Thursday morning and last night. Which in my terms, is already very fantastic.

I would like to thank quite a few people who've been so sweet to listen to me cry, go on and on etc.

Firstly of course to mummy, who though has been treating me like a time bomb, I know you're just as simple as concerned. And for secretly putting money into my wallet though I told you I had money when I didn't. I love you.

To Simon, thanks for listening to me and offering me tissues. Hur. To Ah Bay aka Lil Brat, by acting like yourself and making me laugh even when I was crying like mad. I love you both. Be good to one another yes?

To my mage in shining armour (LOL), Mike. Thank you for always being there for the warlock in distress. Stop calling me noob though. LOL. I'm giving you enough time to level Shucks to catch up with Aandra okay?! AND, STOP IRRITATING ME HOR!

To Jie, thanks for emo-ing with me while I had a stolen conversation with you in my toilet last night (to avoid mummy seeing me cry which she did figure out after that anyway). And yes, I remember our Thursday balcony date though someone said, either KTV or Play ends up saying don't KTV, we go Play. LOL. Smack you. Love you la Jie.

To Lian Jin, thank you for bringing me out on Thursday morning at 0400 hours to play arcade and in your words, to beat the crap out of "monsters" so I will feel better though I made it clear to you I'd rather beat the crap out of humans and you weren't man enough to let me beat you. LOL. One more thing, I hope you remember to bring Daniel Henny back for me so I can marry him. LOL.

To Elena, for letting me "see the light". Thank you for being so brutally honest, I really appreciate it.

To Bessy, for being another brutally honest person and made me hide in the toilet to cry to Jie. I know you care and I really appreciate it, we can emo together this weekend when you're out of camp and when Jie & Jo are busy pak tor-ing. LOL.

To Jac, for promising to take me out as often as you can when you come back at the end of next month. And for giving me hope that you'll have money to buy me an air ticket to Perth tomorrow. LOL. Can't wait for you to be back to drive me around Singapore. Hur.

To Denise, Miss Tee Su-An. Get your ass back from Tokyo. I need a coffee session with you. Haha. Hope you're doing fine there. Misses. And and, I WANT VOGUE!!

Lastly, to everyone else who cares.

WHO WANTS TO BRING ME OUT TO KTV?! AND LISTEN TO ME GO OFF TUNE AND SING JIE KOU TEN THOUSAND TIMES? I know Jie will be the first to run. LOL

`Spinning: Jay Chou - Jie Kou

The Online Sensation

I've totally gone off MSN, those who have me on their list would know that I haven't been online for like eons. Besides work on the occasional weekend, all I do is stay home, read, glue myself to the telly, eat like a pig but don't put on weight -grumbles-, continue being a pig by sleeping too much and, World of Warcraft. Yes you heard me right, WoW. -mock horror-

I've always been a gamer of some sort. I've downloaded all the trial games from Yahoo Games and played them all before so to people who know about that, it's nothing surprising.

Besides all that, met up with Denise darling yesterday for dinner. It was a short but a good meeting at Bedok interchange's LJS. Caught up quite a lot and I'm glad we did because she's leaving for Tokyo on Sunday for 6 weeks! I'll miss you babe. ):

And speaking of missing, I do miss MINE. I haven't been staying over at her place on Saturday for 3/4 weeks already. Always because I either have to work the next day, or we end up at places like Geylang for supper which is so near my place I could hear my chou chous and Lolly calling out to me. LOL.

I miss the Hershey baby and the new addition, Hercules the smelly cute boy. I MISS MY TAN FAMILY! Do y'all miss me? ):

Work tomorrow and Saturday. I want to complain I'm tired but I can't, because I last worked 9 days ago. x:

`Spinning: Dr Dre feat. Snoop Dogg - The Next Episode

Come Money Money Come!

Just had my shower and I'm feeling so damn relaxed. Jack Daniels' event earlier from 2300 - 0200 hours at Shaw Plaza, Asoka.

Well, Asoka is an Indian club so yeah, 99% of the crowd there were Indians. Surprisingly, they were mostly locals and people my age or slightly older. So during the live band intervals, they played pretty cool clubbing music that resembled HRC a lot, loads of reggae like Tamale and Mirame of course. Hur.

The biggest surprise of all, they actually played a trance track which was Destination Calabria. Like the least expected please! Haha. I was stunned for a moment while stoning.

Work was pretty slack but I'm really knacked cause I've been sleeping around 0100 and waking up around noon. Had supper at Lavender Square with Elena, her friend and his friends. Ba Chor Mee rocks my socks! LOL. Cabbed home myself despite her friend offering to send me back cause he'll still have to send her back to Bukit Merah before sending me back to Bedok Reservoir and I was just too tired to save the cab fare.

Will still be working for JD at Big Bike's Fest tomorrow from 1500 - 1900, then 2100 - 0000 at CHIJMES. Tired! Plus, Sunday there's still Big Bike Fest, so that's another 4 hours. I feel like dying of exhaustion already.

Then Tuesday there's a golf event at Sentosa whereby I have to report at Harbour Front at 0930! Want to how early please. It means I gotta get outta bed before 0700. Then the event ends around 2100 hours at night, fucking almost 12 hours of work! -cries-

All for the sake of, money. For now, it's bed time. Goodnight world. ((:

`Spinning: Fergie Ft. Sean Kingston - Big Girls Don't Cry

Oh Bother!

Wah. It's been almost an entire month since I've blogged man. Shush. Okay, even if I do come online, I'm too lazy to blog. Truth is, I haven't been coming online at all. I just don't feel like coming online okay?

Back to bumming around but there's a JD event tomorrow and hopefully on Saturday. Then come Tuesday, some golf event at Sentosa. Reporting time at 0900 at Harbour Front which means I gotta get up before 0700, want to how early please!

Been hanging out with the Yong Tau Foo girlies. Last last Saturday, met them for HRC & MoS. Last Thursday, headed to Play with them. It felt so Mad Monks can! LOL. Saturday met them for awhile before heading off to MoS. Where's that Mahjong session? I suppose it's not going to materialise since MINE is starting school next week.

MINE has been Zouk-ing with them every Wednesday but come Wednesday, I always feel too exhausted to fight the madness of the crowd. I suppose it's a sign of early ageing plus the fact I don't like Wednesday clubbing anymore.

So yes, according to everyone, including MINE, I've been MIA. Sigh. Sometimes, you just don't feel like talking to anyone anymore and all you want to do is to draw yourself into seclusion and become a hermit. Maybe it only applies to me, I don't know.

`Spinning: Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground

"Some days I feel broken inside but I won't admit"

Funky Aunties

First week of work didn't go so well. Monday, turned up with bad sore throat and non stop leaking nose. Bleeding mother fucking irritating can. By the time I was on my way home, I started to feel feverish and once it was 10pm, I had a full blown fever.

It got worst throughout the night and woke up with a high fever the next day so had no choice but to call in sick cause I was feeling so weak and faint. Every time I got up to make myself to go to the clinic downstairs, I just could not get myself to do it because I was so afraid I'd faint somewhere on the 10 minutes journey. At the end, I waited for mummy to finish work then met her at the bus stop before she took me to the clinic.

Although I had 2 days worth of MC to allow me to recuperate, I had to go back the work the next day. -cries- And till today, only my fever and leaky nose have bade me farewell. Cough and sore throat still sticking to me like a couple of warts.

So yes, I'm tired, exhausted physically and mentally but I do enjoy working there. Being the youngest always has it's benefits, especially when all your colleagues are aunties (Aged late 30s and above) who listen to Justin Timberlake and know the latest R&B/Hip Hop hits from the Radio. :D

*Exclusive: Hershey the Chocolate Monster looking BEE-Z.

`Spinning: Eve Featuring Swizz Beatz - Tambourine

First & Last's

Been wanting to change my blog layout for awhile now but after an aimless 2 hours of surfing or procrastination of creating my own, I'm just too darn lazy to do any HTML/CSS or to upgrade it to XML. Shall wait for another time when I'm too damn bloody bored and when the mojo kicks in.

Today's my last day at NAFA and I'm just here to do nothing the entire day, which sucks because it makes me so damn sleepy especially after having 2 meals in a day already. Plus, I came in at 0815 so I can leave earlier and because I didn't sleep at all. -grumbles-

It's kinda sad to leave here cause I get along with my colleagues and boss rather well. Then Monday will come along and I'll have to get used to a new environment again. I hate this routine.

Well at least my new manager seems pretty nice but then, so did the bitch that I worked for previously. Though I'm a lil wary of my new boss (who is my manager's boss but my boss as well) but I have learnt that, sometimes, first impressions are very deceiving. For all I know, my boss may be the nice one and my manager's from hell to torture me.

I hope I find a smoking kaki at the new place because currently at NAFA, I'm the only one who smokes in the entire department and it doesn't help that it's an educational institute so it makes smoking very lonely and a chore to smoke "outside" the building.

Then there's the dreaded 5.5 working days. I want to complain non-stop but I will not harp on it and just live with it. One more thing, MSN had better be for "legal" usage at the new place because I'd really harbour "I want to quit right away" thoughts once I realise MSN is STRICTLY not allowed.

Sigh. I really pray that it'll turn out good and if it doesn't I will do my best to live with it because I want to buy a couple of things and go for another holiday soon.

"There's never a perfect job
Not even when you're self employed."

The Forked Path

It is now August, 8th month into 2007 and what have I accomplished in this year? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I'm disappointed, I really am. Now, I'm given a choice to prove myself once again, but will I fail like I have the past few times? Will I be able to leave this path behind and embark on a brand new one? I don't know. I do know that I am the only one who can answer these questions and ultimately, it's all up to me.

I'm scared. Even presently, I'm failing, again. So should I take this chance with determination? But what if I fail once again. I don't know how many times I can take failing. How many times before it totally wears me down.

I will not make excuses for myself anymore. What I am today, is no one's fault but mine. Can I take this challenge and prove everyone, including myself wrong? All I know, there's this hesitation, because I don't want to fail again.

`Spinning: Alex Gaudino Ft. Crystal Wa - Destination Calabria

"Sometimes it seems no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul"

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows

*Warning, spoilers ahead.

Well well, it's been awhile since I have blogged. Been busy with work in general and trying to catch up on beauty sleep.

So last Saturday, finally collected the book and by Sunday night, I finished it. Hurhur. Didn't go to work on Monday and ended up reading it for the second time. Now the book's with my boss. Hur.

Love love loved the ending. The reason behind why Snape is actually good was rather touching too. Sigh. All in all, I thought it was a good closure for Harry Potter & friends.

Deaths included Hedwig, Mad Eye Moody, Peter Pettigrew, Fred Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin (who already had a baby boy). Speaking of Hedwig, I was given a TY Beanie of Hedwig when I collected my book. Who'd think she'd die as well. Sigh. Least, amidst all the speculation that one or two of the main characters would die, none came true and I'm glad.

The only disappointing part was the lack of details about the 19 years later. We know Hermione and Ron got married and had 2 kids, one named Rose, the other Hugo. Ginny and Harry got married and had 3 kids, James, Lily and Albus Severus (after Dumbledore and Snape). That Neville Longbottom became a professor at Hogwarts and Draco Malfoy became "good" of sorts and had 1 kid too. Haha.

But I was wondering bout Luna Lovegood, George Weasley (Fred died), Bill Weasley and his part Veela wife, Fleur, etc. Guess the book was already thick enough and details bout the main characters sufficed.

Now, the Potter mania is finally over. Just left with Half Blood Prince and The Deathly Hallows movies to come out. Then, that will really mark the end of the Potter mania.

Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix

*Warning, spoilers ahead.

Met MINE after work and after school respectively at PS to catch Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix. Booked the tickets a couple of weeks back so you can guess how excited I was to catch the movie. But well, the movie turned out rather disappointing for me.

For those like MINE who has never went near the book, would probably not really comprehend with what exactly was going on in the movie. Everything moved so fast, putting as much details as they can in each and every scene.

Then as usual, the minor changes in the plot that only the avid HP readers would notice and this, was right from the start of the movie.

Dudley was not sent to the hospital; They only left just before TOTP(The Order of The Phoenix) turned up because Tonks sent them a muggle mail saying they won a best garden award thingy. TOTP did not just turn up at Harry's room door; Harry went down to the kitchen when he heard a crash made by Tonks.

I will just stop at the first two differences cause it'll take forever to list everything I spotted. I guess I'm just being super anal but yeah, I couldn't help going through the book while the movie played on.

But can someone just please tell me why Cho became the one who told on DA's meetings?! It was supposed to be Cho's best friend, Marietta and I was waiting to see the word SNEAK etched across her face!

And can someone else please tell me why, Sirus Black's mother's potrait did not scream the entire 1 minute of screen time it was given?! It was screaming in the entire book. I was looking forward to hearing her screech like a banshee.

Sigh. So yes, I was rather disappointed. I agreed with Jie that the previous directors were better but a valid point is that this book is way longer than the previous ones.

There were good things I reckon (typing this a lil reluctantly). Umbridge was as irritating and disgusting as depicted in the book. I personally loved Luna Lovegood, she was just so Looney. Haha.

Emma Watson is growing into a very pretty lady. The rest, I'm not too sure. X: Jie reckons that Daniel Radcliff is hot but I think otherwise. Still like his look better in Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone, way cuter there.

So yes. Sigh. Saturday, is the release of Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows. Rumours are that 2 of the main characters would die. I'm keeping my fingers crossed cause personally I don't want anyone to die.

---

On another note, I've been updating so frequently because I have absolutely nothing to do at work. In fact, I'm so damn sick of it cause I am bored and cold in the office. Plus, I'm so sleepy. Haven't been getting enough rest man. Sigh.

So yeah, if you see me on MSN and I'm not on Busy mode, come and disturb me or something. Dying of boredom here.

Smellin' Good

So this morning, I headed to the airport for something (you don't have to know what unless I choose to tell you). After I ran my errand, I proceeded to take the MRT to work.

Next to me sat 2 really cute Australian guys BUT, knn, body odour please. Yes, I have a real sensitive nose so I get extremely irate with all kinds of smells, pleasant or unpleasant.

I try not to walk into perfume stores or stores selling potpourri and sorts because it drives my nose crazy and gives me a bleeding headache. So yes, that's how sensitive my nose is.

Saturday at Phuture, there was a guy who stood in front of me who smelt so bad I wanted to barf my Heineken out. Seriously, can't people who smell bad, smell that they smell bad?!

And the spark that ignited this blog post is, ONE OF MY COLLEAGUE HAS BODY ODOUR. Wah fuck, I swear I'm so glad I'm not in the same room as her. Every time I walk into her room, I hold my breath so I won't faint from the smell. I wonder how the rest in her room can handle the smell 9 hours a day without dying from lack of oxygen.

Since I am so anal about smells. I get really paranoid if I forget my deodorant or perfume. I will keep pestering MINE with "Baby, do I smell?" Lol.

Today I smell of Elizabeth Arden's Green Tea. Yesterday I smelt of Givenchy's My Givenchy. Tomorrow, I think it'll be DKNY. I have yet to use my Estee Lauder one that I bought from DFS. Hmmmm. Sometimes, I smell of MINE's perfume. Hur.

Yeah, am blogging all these nonsense because, I have nothing to do at work once again. Harry Potter & The Order of Phoenix later with MINE. YAY!

Back To "School"

I am at work. Yeah, Saturday at 1525 hours and I am still at work. Not doing work though because the system is giving problems. So while I wait for my colleagues to fix the damn bug, I shall blog. Hur.

Work has been good so far. Rather slack but it gets really boring at times. At least I can surf the Internet and chat on MSN to kill time. Came back to work today since I have nothing to do at home and they need me here, plus pay is * 1.5 the normal rate so yeah, got extra money why don't earn right?! Lol.

Best thing is, I'm working at NAFA, feels totally like I'm coming here for lessons everyday but the fact is that I'm working here, not studying. LOL. Plus plus, it's opposite my favourite wanton mee! Heeheehee.

So MINE, went to MoS with the usual yesterday and I, was a total angel and stayed at home. -mock horror- I was so tired from work that after dinner, I just conked out. Haha.

Zouk tonight! Whee~ Okay, back to doing nothing now. Tata~

`Spinning: Parking Lot Pimp - Life's Thinking About You

Darlings

So I've been pretty busy of late, while at the same time, feeling a teeny bit under the weather. -mumbles-

Wednesday, was a good day despite the fact that I did not sleep at all and was out the entire day. Jac came to pick me up around 1030 and we headed to Cine to meet Jie. Then it was K Lunch. It was good but the food was well, gross. I was hungry anyway, so ate most of it.

Roamed around town after and I complained I was hungry. So Liat Tower's BK for Chicken Cheese Sticks! Yumm. Roamed around some more and I got hungry again so had Red Pearl Tea and Old Chang Kee's nuggets. Hur.

Jac left soon after for her dinner appointment so Jie and I headed to PS to meet Jo and Bessy the Birthday girl. Headed to Manhattan Fish Market and caught up with them for awhile. Left about an hour later to meet Ryl and Kerrie at Coffee Club, Somerset.

It was so good seeing my slumber princess after 1 bloody mother fucking year. Caught up quite a fair bit too. Hur. Had my Morning Dew Tea and Garlic Prawn Pasta. Yummy. Left for home bout 2 hours later because they had to head off to Zouk anyway.

Yes, I didn't club. Totally abhor Wednesday clubbing now. Plus, am already sick of clubbing. Same old boring shit. Plus plus, was so tired that I slept in the bus and almost missed my stop.

Was really glad to meet my darlings whom have "disappeared" to become nerdy freaks. We'll meet up again before either one of you leaves. ((:

Am going to be busy for the next month because I'll be working. Sigh. But it sure beats staying home doing nothing. At least, I'll be bringing in a bit of moolah. -beams-

Poor MINE is sick, again. Tsk. Always don't want to take care of yourself. Drink more water I tell you ah. Or I will kidnap Hershey. Hmph! Still love you la! Hur. -imitates my favourite MSN emoticon- LOL.

`Spinning: Ying Yang Twins Ft. Wyclef Jean - Dangerous

"Friends are for life"

Topsy Turvy

I'm wide awake, down with flu and a sore throat, and depressed, very depressed.

Why? I don't really know. It's been awhile since I've been so depressed. Been feeling down the past few days but the past 24 hours have been mayhem.

I'm so sick, so sick of this. I hate being thrown around like a rag doll. I hate that I have absolutely no control of anything at all. I wanna talk to someone, someone in particular, but I've never seem to gotten through her, and sometimes I think, I never will.

I'm tired, just really tired. I just wanna fall asleep, and never wake up.

`Spinning: Des'ree - Kissing You

"Life doesn't wait around for you to get back up on your feet."

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Why are we humans such procrastinating creatures?! At least, I shall point this charge against myself for now. I swear I'm such a horrible procrastinator that it's starting to bug me real bad. Shucks.

My room is in a mess because I have clothes hanging ALL OVER THE PLACE because I have yet to clear out my closet (I don't wear 3/4 of the clothes inside anymore) and it's too full that I can't even squeeze anything in. Plus, it's fucking hard to take anything out so I barely bother anymore.

Then my bags are all over the place as well, along with my educational certificates and what have you. All because I have yet to clear my drawers from my TP notes (Notes from year 1 to 3), God knows why I still keep them for.

Mummy's been nagging at me almost on a daily basis and when she reaches her limit it will be, sit down and do it NOW. Then I'll do it. If not, it'll be, tomorrow or another day or later. Shush.

Yes I do get irritated with the mess, but I keep telling myself, tomorrow. I swear I wanna slap myself already with the next tomorrow I come up with.

So here's a promise on the World Wide Web, I will do everything by the end of next week. Why not tomorrow or end of this week, because I'm busy all the way till Sunday.

`Spinning: Bjork & Paul Oakenfold - Sex Drive

Days of My (Not-So-Interesting) Life

I've been lazy to update but I refuse to let my blog wither to death from the lack of posts. The week's been rather "busy" considering I'm usually home 5 days a week. Hur.

Monday
I can't really recall what I did so I think I was just home doing the usual nonsense.

Tuesday
Mummy took leave to run some important errands so Lil Brat, Simon and I accompanied her along. After the errands were done and I happily forgot about my own errand, we headed to Holland Village. Went to Pet Lover's Centre and saw really cute puppies. Awwww. Then saw 2 Persian cats at another pet store, never just $580 each what? Knn. I wanted to bring both back with me! ):

Then headed to Blue Spoon Cafe at Ghim Moh to try their "Eurasian" food. Seriously there were only like 3 dishes that were "Eurasian" there, the devil's curry (which wasn't spicy enough), Shepard's pie (my favourite cause I just love it and it reminds me of my primary school best friend) and 1 more which I cannot recall it's name.

The food was okay only. Mummy had their roasted chicken, it was fine except that the poor chicken must have been starved to death. Haha. I had Bolognaise, it was good because the sauce was home made and had loads of herbs.

After which, we headed to International Building's Partyworld for KTV. Hurhur. It's been awhile since I KTV-ed. Did loads of singing because out of everyone (Michael, Matthew, Mummy, Simon, Lil Brat and myself) 3/4 of the time, Michael and I were singing. LOL.

Left at 2300 hours, an hour before our session was to end because Mummy had work the next day and both she and the Lil Brat were having headaches.

Wednesday
Was supposed to meet MINE but she was sick and since her mum took leave to take care of her, I decided to let them do some mother and daughter bonding and stayed home. That was to make it sound good, in fact, I was just too lazy to travel all the way down to her place. LOL.

Thursday
Woke up after my phone rang for a thousand times and headed to run some errands at the airport. After which, headed to Maxwell Market to run some more errands for MINE. Then to Lau Pa Sat to run more errands of my own. LOL. By the time I got home, it was 1700 hours and was dead tired.

Friday
Woke up at 1700 hours so 3/4 of the day was already gone. Nothing much. Just nua-ed at home. Yes, no Zouk. I've been an angel of late. LOL.

---

It's the weekend tomorrow and the last day before the GST increment so I reckon, town will be packed like crazy. Sigh. -headache- I hate crowds. Plus, if I get up on the wrong side of bed, I'm going to be super grouchy. -grumbles- I can see it happening already.

Am currently making MINE to book advance tickets for Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix (and she's taking forever to decide which cinema, blah blah). I can't wait for my new Harry Potter book to arrive too! -gushes- Yeah, I'm a closet HP fan can?! Anyhoos, happy weekend everyone!

PS. GST money is in already!

`Spinning: Bananarama - I Heard A Rumor

8 More Days

Yes, I am counting down till July is here. All because I'm so fucking broke now and it's been awhile since I've been so damn bloody broke. -grumbles-

July is the month where I finally can get some income from the government and also 2 confirmed job assignments. July please come faster! I need the bloody moolah to survive, like seriously. Sigh.

Anyway, I've been so bored at home. Bloody bored witless because I am broke so I try not to go out either and I haven't gone out except on Tuesday for awhile with MINE.

I'm so fucking frustrated I'm about to kill myself. Why is it always about the money. GOD. Why are humans so mother fucking materialistic. Why can't we just live without material wants? Argh.

`Spinning: Craig David - You Don't Miss Your Water (Till The Well Runs Dry)

Gaming Addiction

This is what I have been very busy with:

// `i'm queer *drea says (1:45 PM):
YES
// `i'm queer *drea
says (1:45 PM):
I just passed the halfway mark of level 45
//
`i'm queer *drea says (1:45 PM):
HAHAHAHA.

summer love says (1:46 PM):
LOL
summer love says (1:46 PM):
baby ar baby
summer love says (1:46
PM):
people busy with work, you busy with games

HEHEHE. I've been gaming on Neopets like crazy while MINE is going crazy with her FYP. Almost non stop that my right wrist and arm hurts from all the usage of the mouse. Yes Neopets is a teeny bit childish but some of the games are really challenging and addictive. Plus the fact I've been playing since I was 15. LOL.

Anyhoos, besides going crazy over gaming, MoS on Sat. Ran errands with Denise on Monday. And, that's about it. LOL. Before I go back gaming, here's Denise Darling and myself.

MoS; Spot MINE.

Monday Errands with the darling. ((:

`Spinning: Paul Van Dyk, Robert Miles & Ayla - For An Angel

"Addiction; The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with
or or involved in something."

Challenge The Gender Lines

Monday, mummy forced me to see the doctor after my cough made me puke 2 nights in a row. -mumbles- My doctor says that if by Friday I am not better with the medication, I'll have to go for an X-Ray because he's worried that it might be TB. Though he suspects that it's just an allergic cough. Goodness.

Then he weighed me again. I have officially lost another 2KG in the past 2 months. SIGH.

Anyway, went home to rest before heading out in the evening with MINE. Headed to Suntec to get something before rushing over to Marina Square for Shrek 3! I swear Puss in Boots is so damn cute! Mummy thinks that Lolly looks like Puss in Boots. Hur.

Speaking of Lolly, let me digress a little. I swear she's mother fucking smart. At 5am yesterday, I suddenly heard meow-ing outside the window and when I opened the door to check, she was outside! Can you believe it, she actually climbed 7 storeys all by herself to my door! Love her to death I tell you. Hahaha.

Back to the movie. It was good, quite funny. Especially loved the part where Pinocchio attempted to not lie to Prince Charming. Haha. Not forgetting the part where Puss in Boots was swapped into Donkey's body and he tried the "puppy" look, forgetting that he's in Donkey's body and it looked ridiculously disgusting. HAHAHA.

---

The much anticipated Butch Hunt 2007 is here. This year, I am even more disappointed than I was with the last batch. Can someone tell me what happened to all the good looking butches.

I do know that labels don't matter anymore in the PLU world because it's so passe. But what is it with too femme looking lesbians doing in Butch Hunt again?! If labels don't matter, then why is it called Butch Hunt and not Lesbian Hunt or something along those lines. I swear all these label nonsense is getting me and the world very confused.

Then there's an Andro Search organised by Two Queens coming up as well. How many of these competitions do we need man. And I'll bet you, there will be butches in the Andro Search.

No BH for me this year. Not even bothering to go vote online because I have better things to do like play Neopets. -grins-

`Spinning: Prodigy - Voodoo People (Pendulum Remix)

"Rainbow Pride."

Summer Lovin'

Thank God for friends like Jac and Jie.

To the both of you, thank you for being there when I needed you guys. Jac, thanks for calling all the way from Australia to check up on me. Jie, thanks for always never failing to be there. Love you both dearly.

---

Summer's in and so are all my darlings! Lil Miss Ryl is back from her 1 year MIA stint in UK. Denise will be back on Saturday and though late but better than never, Jac will be back on 1st July! -hops around-

Was supposed to meet Lil Ryl for Mambo on Wednesday but because of the annoying crowd, she decided staying home was a better idea.

I thought Ryl was extremely smart because from 0045 - 0200 when I was at Zouk, I almost got into 2 fights. GOD IT WAS SO FUCKING PACKED. My mood was totally ruined because of the crowd and cause Ryl wasn't there either.

Ryl, we must meet up before you go off to Malaysia again okay? Really miss you loads. Will text you soon. -hugs-

Pestered MINE till we finally left at 0200 for MoS. Was still sulking and throwing my temper around when I got to MoS. Refused to talk to anyone when I first reached. Then after cooling down, I just continued sitting at the table drinking like crazy.

Then I saw darling Marilyn! OMG. I almost went mad I tell you. We spent the rest of the night dancing, drinking and catching up. Like Guo Rong said, never seen me dance so much with another girl before. Hahaha. Cause usually at MoS, I'm sitting down drinking and only getting up once in awhile to c-walk with the guys. Hur.

Left MoS around 5 a teensy bit high from the Martell, Hennessy and Sour Apple. Headed to Macs to take away breakfast and called for a cab at the same time. KNN, Comfort/City Cab made me waste 30minutes of talk time and I didn't even get to speak with the damn operator. Thank God, Swee and MINE were also calling for other cab operators.

---

Vesak Day, MINE and I headed down town to run some errands. In the end, MINE bought a top and a pair of bookmarks for me. Hur. Got back to her area and walked around the pasar malam there. I bought a measuring tape (My measuring tape at home went missing), MINE bought a pack of Carebear Cards and some Sponge Bob stickers. Hahaha.

While walking through the pasar malam, I was already feeling a lil wozzy and flu-ish. By the time I got home, it became a full blown fever and flu. BLAH.

Got up this morning feeling worst than ever. Was supposed to bus 22 back but was feeling too weak to last the long journey so wasted 10 bucks on a cab instead. Till now, I still feel like crap. That is why I am home on a Friday night, no clubbing for me tonight man.

Tomorrow/Later, will be celebrating Elena's 20th Birthday with her at Zouk. Though it'll just be me, Swee, MINE and the birthday girl, I bet it'll be a blast. In advance, because I doubt I'll make it in time to blog before her birthday ends,

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY ELENA!

In accordance to the occasion, here are 2 random photos of our clubbing escapades together. ((:

Elena & Myself / MoS toilet.

Eve, Elena & Myself / Phuture.

`Spinning: Deep Dish - Flashdance

"Summer's over for the both of us
But that doesn't mean we should give up on us
Your the one that I've been thinkin of
And I knew the day I met you you'd be the one"

Life's A Bitch, A Real Big Bitch

I've had a bad day. When I say bad, do not underestimate it. In fact, bad doesn't even justify everything that has happened.

I'm feeling so lost now. There's no direction, nothing what so ever to look to. I don't know what to do anymore, I really don't.

Phone's been turned off, refuse to go on MSN even though I'm online. I don't want to talk to anyone because there's nothing left to say. I'm blogging because I need an outlet to let everything out.

I sparked off a physical and verbal fight at my Grandma's 72nd birthday. I know, how filial I am. Though the gathering was doomed to end this way, I didn't expect myself to start the ball rolling.

But I really couldn't take it. I couldn't take the insults thrown at me when it had nothing to do with me in the first place. Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is a bloody idiot, a mother fucking bloody idiot.

I almost killed today, killed someone that is. I totally lost it. Vulgarities spewed all over the place, with no regards of my elders. But, I didn't get physical because my mum was holding me back.

I'm sorry. To everyone. I know my temper's my biggest weakness, but I really tried so hard. I walked away before I could punch the bastard. I truly regret it now, because I can see myself stabbing him to death.

I can't stop thinking about everything that has happened earlier. Every scene just keeps repeating. From crying silently in the bus, crying in front of everyone pretending I was just tired, to walking away from the insult, to going back in and screaming at him. My mind's like a spoilt video, it just keeps replaying and replaying itself. It's really driving me crazy.

All I had for dinner was a can of Carlsberg. I don't even feel hungry. Now, I'm having Chivas neat. It's easier to fall asleep this way, least I won't spend the entire night crying.

My eyes are so sore I barely can open them anymore. I'm so tired but I can't sleep.

It's all my fault. Everything's my fault. My existence is just nothing but trouble and unhappiness. This time I really know, I'll be better off dead.

Don't worry, I'm rather sure I'll stay alive though dying seems like a better option at the moment. I promised. And I always try to make sure I never break them.

But sometimes, depression gets the better of you.

`Spinning: Corrinne May - Will You Remember Me

"My face on the water
Wrinkles with the tide
And vanishes from the ocean's silver screen
Like stars sprinkled in the sky
Forgotten when the sun appears
Will you remember"

Of Shopping & Life

To a particular someone:
Darling, I know it's really hard on you now and I'm sorry I can't be much of help. But do remember, I'll be here when you're back and I'm only a phone call or sms away. Hang in there babe. I love you. Stay strong. -hugs-

---

As much as I think my life sucks, I am aware that there are people out there having it worst than I am at this very moment. Kids in Africa dying from malnutrition and various third world country diseases, soldiers dying for their country in Iraq, innocents killed in terrorists attacks.

Coming back closer to home, I do know of a few who are currently having it worst than I am. It sucks that I can't do anything much to help them and I hate it but that's just life. There's only so much one can do.

I am a firm believer of destiny and fate but not the delusional kind. We all have control of our own lives to a certain extent and I feel awfully lousy that I've completely lost all control of mine. I'm trying my best to regain the control back but till now, to no avail. Sigh.

Okay, enough of emo stuff. Had a great day yesterday. After casting, went to visit mummy at work and ended up spending 4 hours at her workplace having lunch with her and her boss and volunteering free labour.

Then MINE text-ed to date me out. HAHA. We finally went pak tor-ing after a very long time and after my relentless badgering. x:

Left mummy's and walked to the National Library to return and borrow books there for the first time. Yes la, I'm a sua ku, finally went to NLB for the first time. After that, strolled my way to City Hall because I was still WAY early to meet MINE.

Window shopped around and resisted buying a tube top from Miss Selfridge because I have been shopping way too much. LOL. Will touch on that later.

Finally hunger was knocking on MINE's stomach and the plan was for Pasta Mania but because I walked through the Food Court, MINE saw Kimichi Soup and we ended up there. Haha.

Bought my Yami Yoghurt for dessert and MINE skipped her dessert because she was already looking 2 months pregnant. LOL. Home after that. ((:

Baby, had a great time yesterday. When your holidays are here, more pak tor-ing okay? Love you! -smuacks-

---

Saturday, I succumbed to temptation and bought a badge from Agnes B (only after coming home, Lil Brat told me she can get 30% discount but wth anyway) and cleaned out my Topshop gift card with a turtle neck "bare backed" top.

Not to mention I am still waiting for my spree stuff. The "stuff" has increased from 2 E.L.F items to include a pair of wedges and a bag both from Taiwan sprees. -grins-

Of course I still can't beat MINE with her Comme Des Garcons + many random buys and Elena with her CRAZY shopping but I need to stop. My expenditure is way more than my income, which is currently zilch. I am so broke! Now I need to strike Thursday's 5.5 million TOTO. Hahaha.

P.S. I have a list of people whom I want them to be killed in a terrorist attack. I mean it.

`Spinning: Oscar G & Ralph Falcon - Dark Beat (Addicted To Drums)

I Bruise Easily, Really I do

Finally got back my old songs from MINE and somewhat at a time like this, I'm really glad to get them back.

Been listening only to the emo songs and my trance/house tracks. The R&B/Hip Hop tracks are conveniently skipped with a click of the mouse because I am so damn sick of them. Hear them every Friday and Saturday anyway.

The songs I have, I have a real penchant for them. I know the tunes, I know the lyrics. Most of all, I am able to relate to them one way or another.

I haven't been in the best of moods. Even getting high on Saturday wasn't a blissful thing. Instead, it was more like a "drown my sorrows" affair. I didn't get drunk though because, I didn't want to. I played my part and stayed sober. But mostly, I didn't want to cry in front of people that have never seen me cry and this, is a first for me.

To be honest, I don't even know what bloody sorrows I have. I've just been feeling really down the past week or so. Sigh. Too many things have been happening in a short time and it doesn't help that I feel so helpless.

I'm tired now. Casting at 1030 hours tomorrow morning. It's bed time. I just do hope I'll fall asleep fast.

`Spinning: Armin Van Buuren & Dj Tiesto - Take Me Away

"My skin is like a map, of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks, but it's not a negative thing"

Nervous Breakdown

Okay. I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE.

Yes, I am sick of bumming around already. Mondays - Fridays I am usually at home unless something crops up outside and I have to attend to it. Once a week I go to the National Library to restock my books. Besides all that, all I do is come online; play games, chat, check forums, check e-mail, sleep, eat and smoke.

I swear having nothing to do all day long just makes me eat and smoke and sleep most of the time. This lifestyle is supposed to make you fat. IT'S SUPPOSED TO OKAY?! Considering I take supper EVERY DAY. WHY AM I NOT GAINING WEIGHT. WHY?!?!

Omg fuck. I swear I'm going mad already. Getting all cooped up like this. Then the boring MoS Saturday night which beats staying at home doing what I do 5 days a week.

WAH FUCK. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF ALREADY LA.

Doesn't help that all my friends are scattered across the globe now. One in UK (Ryl), the other down under in Perth (Jac), another one holidaying in San Frans (Denise). I don't even want to mention Marilyn who's probably flying to God knows which continent as I type.

Even the ones in Singapore are so busy. Sigh. I swear I will go mad soon, honest.

Even MINE is so busy with school. I can't blame her either cause the poor baby's already going mad with her curriculum. -wails-

BABY I REALLY MISS YOU.

As I type, I'm silently breaking down. I really am.

"There’s only so much you can learn in one place
The more that you wait, the more time that you waste
I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own
It sways and it swings and it bends until you make it your own
I can make it alone"

G(ive) S(o) T(ake) Offset

Ahh. The much anticipated GST Offset that we Singaporeans have been looking forward to. My letter finally arrived and I'm so pleased that I'm getting $250. Hehehe.

To be honest, I didn't really care how much I would be getting because I knew I'll prolly either get $200 or $250 because of my total household income and home category. I was more worried about not getting the money because the government has always "cheated" with the sentence, "Be aged 21 as of 1st January 2007". Thank God that's not the case or I'd be banging my head against the wall just because I was born almost 5 months later.

Was reading through the FAQs section of the GST Offset website and I saw this, "NSF/NSmen (both active and inactive) will get an additional $100 worth of GST Credits in recognition of their contributions to Total Defence." and I have something to say about it.

Those who know me well, would know I'm a real feminist and all about equal gender rights. So why isn't there a clause that states, "An additional $100 worth of GST Credits for all women who have given birth in recognition of their contribution to Singapore's population."

So what? We go through our painful monthly periods, carry a child for 9 months (assuming you only have 1 child), bear with all that labour pain what have you and don't deserve a measly extra $100?! Seriously, tell me how is that fair?! How to encourage women to have 2 or more children like that? No motivation at all! -shakes head-

P.S. Not that it affects me because the only 3 babies I have are Hershey, Lolly & Baby. Namely a dog, a cat and a terrapin. LOL.

"Money money money!"

Of Ear Sticks & Fast Food

Of late, I've been a teeny bit depressed. Reckon that it has a lot to do with what happened on the 8th plus the added agony of loneliness getting to me. MINE has been so busy with school and I have been busy turning my life upside down literally by getting my sleeping hours all wrong again when I finally had it normal for 2-3 weeks.

I realise that my sleeping hours go haywire every time I'm depressed and it sucks. All because I sleep in the day, wake up at dinner time, then stay awake till the morning around 0800 - 1000 hours and the vicious cycle repeats.

Then there's the extreme crazy eating binge I go on and still don't put on any bloody weight. Sigh. It's not normal to eat like every regular girl and weigh 41 KG on a good day and 39.5 KG on a bad day. Envy the weight all you want, I'd give it to anyone with a normal weight of 45-48KG for my height because I'm so underweight that it's disgusting and abnormal.

As usual, I haven't slept a wink since I woke up at 1800 hours yesterday. Played games online till bout 0600 hours this morning, read Herworld Mag, read Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix for the millionth time before getting ready to go out to run errands.

Headed to the library to return and borrow more books for my depression induced nights and boring life. Then to the bank to QCD (Quick Cheque Deposit) my pay check from the golf event. Will only get the money on Monday which sucks cause I need it to buy Mother's Day present for Mummy. I only have myself to blame because I was supposed to run these errands yesterday but sleep sounded better.

Then bought ear sticks and some nonsensical nail stickers for a total of S$1.90 only. Haha. Those who have been hanging out with me know that I've gone a lil mad with my nails of late. The ear sticks were to replace my tragus barbell which I officially lost because I took it out for the 8th. Bloody fuck make me lose it for nothing. With regards to the ear sticks, I think I last wore them in Secondary School which was officially 5 years ago. LOL.

Craved for Mac's Cheeseburger and decided that it would be my lunch accompanied by a medium Coke. Hurhur. Now, I'm officially having a stomach ache. This is what happens when you have fast food for brunch.

At Mac's, I saw a ton of school kids, I reckon it must be the exam period not because it was too early for school to have ended. Then continued to see more KC girls waiting for buses to KC. Brought me reminiscing the times where I could eat LJS almost on a daily basis or survive on a cup of bubble tea just for lunch. Haha.

God, ear sticks and fast food. Such memories.

"What we remember from childhood we remember forever; Permanent ghosts,
stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen. -Cynthia Ozick"

Failure

I didn't make it. After everything, I didn't make it.

After thinking about it the entire day, I figured maybe what went wrong but oh well, a little too late for that now.

Now, I'll have to pick up from where I left off. I can't continue going on this way. Something needs to be done about my life, something, anything.

See, luck is never on my side.

"My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's
doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be
lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key
to my destiny. - Elaine Maxwell."

Do or Die

This is my 600th blog post since abnegation started out in December 2003. ((: -pats self on back-

Yes, I'm not the kind of person who would change blog addresses every few months or so (looks pointedly at Jie and Ryl) and I've made it a point to stick to abnegation like it has stuck to me for the past couple of years. Despite the 2 blog wars I've had and a couple of rude anonymous taggers in the beginning, everything has been fine and dandy. ((:

---

Met Denise dear on Wednesday to catch up and all and oh boy did we really talk a lot in 1 day's span. Hurhur.

First up was lunch at Pastamania, TM. Then headed to town to check out Kate Moss, Topshop's collection (which launches only on the 17th of this month). After which was to Prada, Paragon to leave my contact number so I wouldn't have to constantly go over and ask if my wallet is in stock already. The guy kindly told me that it probably won't come in till Autumn/Winter collection which is like October! Which is like half a year to go! -grumbles-

Headed over to Starbucks at California Fitness to rest our feet and talk some more. Hurhur. MINE joined us shortly and we decided to leave town for Bugis.

Bugis-ed awhile and had LJS for dinner. After dinner we had no idea what to do and we ended up at Mustafa! Hahaha.

Denise bought her gold watch, MINE bought yet another watch and some other nonsense. Finally, around 2230, we went home and Denise went to Zouk. (:

Babe, it was good catching up with you. Thanks for all the talking. Love you! See you on Friday at Zouk ar? Haha. -hugs-

---

4 more days to the 8th. -shudders- The 8th is the day where I either do or die, literally. I don't know how I'll take to failing and I do know I'd be estatic if I pass. Everyone please pray for me. Luck is never on my side like how my mum pointedly said to my grandma earlier. So PRAY PLEASE PRAY!

"Either you make it, or break it"

21 Years & 6 Days Old

I realised I haven't been doing any substantial blogging, especially bout the over-rated big 21 so here I am now. Hur. (:

So on the Saturday before my birthday, which was the 21st of April, met MINE, Mummy, Lil' Brat and Simon in town and headed to buy my birthday present from mummy. IT'S FUCKING OUT OF STOCK. I saw the damn wallet 3 days before and 3 days later it's gone!

Singaporeans are so damn rich. I took 4 days considering whether to buy a $650 Prada wallet and when I finally decided on it, it was sold out. -cries- I'm still patiently waiting for my Prada wallet to come back in stock. -grumbles- To be precise, I'm waiting for that particular colour to come back in stock. I'm not going to make mummy spend $650 on a wallet with a colour I haven't fallen in love with.

Headed over to Heeren's Village for dinner and I was pleasantly surprised with the attendance of Ron, Jem and Chy. Thank you guys for coming and the cute lil' Topshop sling pouch! ((: Thank you Ah Bay for the Borders gift card and also the prepaid deposit of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (which is only available on the 21st of July).

Walked around town after dinner before heading down to MoS. Met Elena on our way to MoS. Thank you dear for the necklace! Thanks especially for going down despite being so tired. Loves!

MoS that night was good because despite the Champagne and Flaming Lambo, I was perfectly sober. -beams- The guys surprised me with an ice cream cake from Swensens with the Disney Princesses on top and a HUGE birthday card. Thanks to all who were there and thanks for the Topshop gift card though no one wants to tell me how much it holds and I haven't gotten to checking it either.

The Sunday and Monday before my birthday was like any other Sunday and Monday except that MINE didn't go to school on Monday. Hur.

On the day itself, had dinner with MINE, Mummy, Ah Bay and Simon at Charlie's Corner (located at Changi Village). Had my long time craving for Medium Rare steak fulfilled. Hehe. Bus 59-ed home after dinner and headed over to MINE's after packing my overnight stuff.

MINE presented me with my birthday card and birthday present when we got to her place. MINE bought this Tinkerbell birthday card that I saw on Yahoo Auctions and it's so damn pretty! Awwww.

Tiffany & Co's 1837 Ring. ALL MINE! ((:

MINE bought me my Tiffany & Co. Ring though I asked for one with a huge diamond on top but this will suffice for now. Hehe. Anyhow, I love it to bits! (((: Thank you baby. Love you deep deep! -smuacks- Thank you for arranging for the surprise dinner with Chy & gang and also the surprise with the guys at MoS. -hughug-

This 21st birthday has been a very good one and so far, I'm happy getting 1 year older. Haha. Thanks for all the wishes, presents and love showered on me. And for once in a very long time, I didn't cry on my birthday or on the day before or the day after. (:

P.S.: 26th was a success as well! Now, last round on the 8th. Pray for me!

"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a
lifetime.
-John P.Grier"

Leprechauns & Gold

25th's a total flop but there is still a tiny glimmer of hope but I ain't hanging on that.

Whereas, 21st was a success. -triple beam- Now for 26th, I'll need all the luck in the world.

---

Will update my birthday happenings when I have the time to write more and take pictures of my beautiful presents. ((:

"Now for good luck, cast an old shoe after me"

Hello 21, Goodbye 20

8 minutes before I turn 21 and here I am feeling even more miserable than CNY.

Remember during CNY I was so sick I was in bed from the eve till the 3rd day. Fantastic, I think 2007 is the year where I fall sick during my most anticipated holidays.

Yes, I am sick once again. This time, my stomach is gurgling with the weirdest sensations, I feel like I'm having morning sickness 24/7, round the clock and my cough is threatening to remove my lungs from my chest.

Happy Birthday to me.

"I'll sing you a birthday song,
from the bottom of my heart"

Self Induced Stress

Prada?

21st & 25th.

One word to describe the above, STRESS!

Forget it, I'm going to bed.

"I dream of a place where
Visions breathe and thoughts are so free"

Run Nose Run!

*edited: 18th April, 0246 hours.

-mumble grumble- I'm having a case of leaky runny nose which I suspect I caught from MINE or caused by the ever thickening dust in my room. It is officially irritating the crap hell of me and I have a box of Kleenex with me wherever I go in the house.

1 more week and I'll be 21! Yay! Hurhur. I know I can't stop counting down but everyone only turns 21 once in a lifetime you know. -giggles-

Anyway, for information's sake, the DREAM list is really nothing but a DREAM list. No one in this world is ever going to buy me THE 2.55 Chanel Bag nor the Gucci Wallet nor the iPod Nano nor the cellphone except myself, which will prolly take about 3 years to buy them all. It's a DREAM list understand?! I hope I got myself loud and clear.

MINE, mummy and Lil' Brat are meeting later after mummy knocks off from work to go buy my birthday present. Of course I'm not invited, which sucks because that means I've gotta settle my own dinner ALONE.

They didn't meet in the end, I don't know why but I've a date with mummy and MINE (not sure bout Lil' Brat cause she has lessons) later in town!

Actually, I think I'm not supposed to know but MINE had to tell me where's she going and with whom or I'll prolly hit the roof and murder her. "BABY! CAN I HAVE THE CHANEL BAG?! HAHAHAHAHA!" Okay, I was kidding.

I will get a job, I WILL GET THE JOB! Sorry I'm trying to make myself feel better. Been rather stressed bout the 21st and 25th. Those who know, would know why and those who don't, happy guessing.

I think I've had enough rambling for now.

"Have faith in yourself; Or no one will."

The Dream List

So my big 21 is approaching in about 12 days. Bahh. Next year I'd be 22, then 23 and it never stops, until I'm six feet under of course. -grumbles-

As per norm, there's a wish list, except that this year, I'm realistic enough to call it the dream list. Arranged from the most ridiculous price to the least ridiculous price.

• THE Coco Chanel 2.55 Bag. (Black)

• Gucci Continental Wallet. (Platinum guccissima leather with white/gold/white web, platinum leather trim, and light gold hardware)

• iPod Nano. (Black or Red)

• Nokia 7390. (Black/Bronze)

Yeah I know, the above 4 are like, dream on (Maybe except for the phone), but a girl's gotta dream right? So indulge me please.

Of course besides these material wants, I have non material wants and needs. Hur. First is for Mummy to strike more lottery, not myself cause I rarely buy anyway. Second is for my life to get on track inside of bumming around doing absolutely nothing productive. Third is to be happy, filial, good, doting, sweet, angelic and whatever have you. -giggles-

"Dream a lil dream"

Good Friday Weekender

So so, the long weekend is finally over and tomorrow, it's back to our mudane lives.

Friday was Zouk. Supposedly for Groove Armada but I was too high so I got stuck at Phuture after a glass of red, 2 glasses of Tiger, a couple of glasses of Martell with Coke and the guilty as charged, Flaming Lambo. Thankfully, I was blissfully high, not crazy high so everything was fine and dandy. (:

Had supper with the usual suspects and I was feeling too puke-y to eat anything so only drank. After I got off the cab, I was literally Singapore's mascot, Merlion. Bleeding Flaming Lambo.

(L-R) Elena, "Long lost" Dowell & Myself. Was so high I didn't remember taking this picture.

(L-R) Elena, Don, PSL & Myself. Like Elena said on her blog, BABY WHERE ARE YOU HUH?!

Woke up early on Saturday around 1500 hours (Yes that is early in my context especially after clubbing the morning earlier) for my supposedly hair cut appointment that became OURS. Hur. MINE cut her hair behind really short and left the front long. See, I prefer her with "long" hair. Trimmed mine and God it feels so much better.

Headed to town after and headed straight for Dior at Taka to get the mother in-law's bracelet. Then to Heerens's Sakae Sushi to meet Elena for our brunchner (Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner). Took neoprints after that and honestly, the nicest looking neoprints I've taken in my entire life. Haha. 3 of us had mad fun though. (:

Before taking our neoprints.

Walked around supposedly window shopping but failed. MINE ended up with a top from Zara, Elena, a nice tube/shorts "jumpsuit" sorta thing (Have no idea what you call it) and a thong, and myself, another thong from Topshop. Then chilled out at NYDC for awhile before heading down to MoS.

All I could say about MoS that night would be "5 bottles of Sour Apple, 3 bottles of Martell and 2 bottles of Champagne", go figure. I was sober at the end of it anyway, Friday was enough for me. Supper at Liang Court Macs, hashbrown and half a Fillet O'Fish downed with Green Tea.

At this point, I was already bored to bits. (L-R) Elena, Myself, MINE & PSL.

Cabbed home to realise my entire carpark is closed so I have to walk for about 10 minutes to get to my block. Bloody fuck. I was so tired already please. Go home, came online, showered and by the time I got out of the shower, mummy was up.

By 0620 hours, we were on our way to Bright Hill Road for Qing Ming. Imagine how stoned I was but I like times like these. Though physically tired, I'm mentally awake and I actually get loads of my thoughts processed and straightened out.

After which, headed for Dim Sum breakfast at Upper Thomson. Damn shiok la OMG. Haha. Finally got home around 1000 ish and slept at 1100 ish. Woke up around 1830, got ready and went to TM for dinner with Mummy and Ah Bay.

VietThai Kitchen for duh, Viet/Thai food. Yummy. Shopped around for awhile before heading back home. Time for my supper now. Hehe.

"Summer's over for the both of us
But that doesn't mean we should give up on us
You're the one that I've been thinkin of
And I knew the day I met you you'd be the one"

Wednesday Night Out

Bus-ed 5 to Zouk yesterday, signed in and went off because Phuture was already full so PSL couldn't get in. Cabbed straight to MoS to join LJ and the rest of the boys.

MoS was okay, just a lil quiet compared to Saturday nights and Wednesday nights at Zouk. I reckon Zouk must be rather disappointed that they lost night spot of the year to MoS this year. Oh well, I still prefer Zouk to MoS. SO PLEASE RENEW MY MEMBERSHIP OR UPGRADE ME CAN?! -grins-

Headed to Geographer's Bar with Don, PSL and MINE around 0145 to check out the place and the supposed "Thai Babes". The place isn't that bad, strangely reminded me of Bangkok loads though but it just wasn't my cup of tea nor MINE's.

Back to Smoove around 0230, sat around, saw Suhan and crapped with him for awhile. Left around 0330 to Macs for supper with Shawn Bob, Kevin and MINE. After supper, cabbed back to MINE with PSL and Don. So yeah, that was about it, my Ladies Night after missing out on it for awhile.

Anyway, my corn rows got a lil too much attention for my liking and plus they were already rather "chui" so I took them off this afternoon with the help of MINE. The end result? I looked like a Lion-ess complete with a Lion's all mighty mane. Haha.

Appointment for my hair cut has been made on Saturday! Yay! Gonna keep my mane long so it'll just be a simple trim to keep the stray ends in place.

This weekend, being Good Friday weekend, is just another holiday for us all to club like mad but I'm a good girl, staying home today and recuperating for the weekend madness. Hur.

In another 24 hours, G-R-O-O-V-E A-R-M-A-D-A!!! (((:

"I see you baby, shakin' that ass."

Dream A Lil Dream

First things first.

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MY LIL RYL! ((:

Wanted to give you a call in UK, I even got your UK number from Chy so I could call you to wish you a Happy Birthday BUT I couldn't find my spare international calling card and since you're not online, probably out celebrating the big 21, I know you'll see this.

First, Spencer wants to say:"Happy Hotdog's Day. Come back soon for hotdogs?".

Darling, it's been almost 5 years since the beginning of this friendship. From the days of us being freshies at TP to graduation day and now, us turning 21. You've seen me gone through loads, from my first ciggy, to the hospital stay and now, hanging between limbo. I've seen my lil slumber princess grown from a small princess to our strong princess today. No matter how hard it is on you in UK, please remember you have plenty of friends left here in Singapore who are awaiting your arrival on the 28th of May.

I love you aplenty and can't wait for you to come back. I promise I will mambo one full night with you and Spencer can just stay at Phuture for all I care. Haha. We will also make sure our glam stewardess, Marilyn comes with us to mambo with Chy and Kerrie okay?

Happy 21st Birthday my slumber princess. Miss you monkey loads.

---

I had a very strange dream of an old KC friend, a very strange one indeed.

Friends come and go but some do stay. Even if all you have is a occasional short chat on MSN. (: I miss loads of people and sometimes, I know I'm at fault because I don't bother to keep in close contact. I miss Queky, I miss Sel, I miss Jac Tong, I miss Lil Ryl, I miss Marilyn and I miss Chy. God knows who else I miss but these are the few that I really miss the most. Sigh.

Ryl's birthday is here, which means mine is 3 weeks away. Somehow, I think it'll be a very lonely 21st birthday.

"Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight."

The Land of Smiles

Got back from the airport last night around 1900 hours, unpacked my luggage immediately. Had dinner with Mummy, Ah Bay and Simon after giving them their presents. Continued to laze around the house, came online for awhile but I was too tired to blog and finally hit the covers around 0300 hours and never woke up till 1830 hours earlier. And honestly, I'm still very tired so I'm prolly going back to my sack after I finish blogging. Hur.

So now, about the trip to Bangkok. Well, I'm going to let the pictures do the talking like Elena did on her blog because like her, I can only remember bits and pieces of it now. Hur. And be warned, it's the most amount of pictures you've ever seen on my blog in a singular entry.

I really hated the water there. It tasted really funny and I'm rather cranky about my water. So yes, SINGAPORE'S DRINKING WATER IS THE BEST EVER. And though I didn't get to eat as much street food as I could but I did fall in love with the meatball thingys there.

---

28th March, Wednesday - Day 1

Arrived at the airport with mummy and headed to BK to have our dinner. Checked in and headed in to shop around DFS. Bought my Vogue Superslims, Estee Lauder's Pure Pops in Sugar Pie (lost my previous one) and mummy's Loreal mascara.

On board the plane.

Finally got off the 2 hour flight, got through customs and had to wait for our luggage on the belt and while we were waiting, we decided to cam whore a lil. (:

While waiting for our hotel transfer.

Finally we arrived at our hotel around 0030 plus SIN time.

The view from our hotel room. That's a classic traffic jam on the highway.

---

29th March, Thursday - Day 2

On our way down for breakfast.

After breakfast, we headed to Pratunam Market, which in my opinion, is as good as Chatuchak Weekend Market and even cheaper. We went mad there and headed back to the hotel early afternoon because our hands were too full to continue. After some much needed rest in the hotel room, we headed out for lunch at Siam Square.

Our lunch. A&W! Awww. I still miss the curly fries.

On our way to MBK, we passed by Dunkin Donuts!

We decided to take a skytrain ride to MBK though it was just 1 stop away.

The old school fare card dispensing machine.

MINE and myself with a typical touristy pose.

Looking like a bloody idiot on the train. Haha.

The three of us on the BTS.

After MBK, we headed to Suan Lom Night Market. Where there's the huge ferris wheel.

At the pets section, we spotted this TINY chihuahua. It's really palm size.

Day 2's shopping. (:

---

30th March, Friday - Day 3

Headed to Khao San and we were really early because the stalls were only setting up. Hur. Elena and I both did corn rolls. Pretty cool except for the fact that you have to sit under the hot sun for a bloody hour. So I was basically, dripping wet while the lady did my corn rolls.

And here's a very unglam picture of me while doing them.

After that, we walked to Bang Lam Phu, which is the street next to Khao San. After which, headed on a cab to Sukhumvit Market but we got lost there and decided to head back to Pratunam and discovered the wonders of Platinum Mall , the huge shopping centre opposite Pratunam Market and another whole sale shopping centre.

Went back to the hotel to rest and then it was Suan Lom again. Hur.

Day 3's shopping. (:

---

31st March, Saturday -Day 4

Woke up late, and missed breakfast. By the time we had instant noodles and headed to Chatuchak it was almost noon. Spent almost 5 hours there and when our hands were all full, we headed back to the hotel.

Mini donut things which I fell in love with. I bought a box back home. (:

Day 4's shopping. Chatuchak buys.

After some rest, we headed to Chinatown for dinner. I almost finished an entire plate of Snow Fish all by myself. That dinner was our most expensive meal in Bangkok, amounting up to 1,390 Baht.

After Chinatown, we decided to check out Patpong and Silom Night Market, the infamous red light district. Well, all I can say is, they try to take your heads of with their prices.

So we left and ended up at Suan Lom again. Haha.

Day 4's shopping - Suan Lom buys.

Our last Tuk Tuk Ride.

I thought their post box was really cute. Hah.

---

1st April, Sunday - Day 5

Woke up late again and missed breakfast for the second time. Rushed to get ready and rushed to the supermarket to buy instant noodles and chewing gums. Rushed back to the hotel to find that our airport transfer was already waiting for us.

On the way to the airport.

Waiting to check in. Bloody long queue.

On board the plane back to Singapore!

Arrived in Singapore at 1740 hours. Went to DFS, bought Martell Corden Bleu, Oyster Bay's white wine, 3 Heineken beers, 2 Clinique Super Double powder and Estee Lauder's Emerald Dream eau de parfum.

---

In total I bought 12 tops, 5 dresses, 7 bottoms, 5 pairs of footwear, 1 boxers, 1 bikini, 3 bags, 4 pairs of earrings, 2 belts and a pair of shades.

In total damage, I spent all my 500SGD in Bangkok and another 400SGD in DFS alone. LOL.

This entry took me 2 entire hours. I'm out. Goodnight!

---

*edited: 0445 hours.

I think I'm so funny sometimes. LOL.

fire in her eyes says (4:36 AM):
she so rich, no need to study la

// `let's get lost in lust *drea says (4:36 AM):
Haha
Rich thats why can go study ma
If I'm rich also long gone in Aussie already

fire in her eyes says (4:36 AM):
...
fire in her eyes says (4:36 AM):
very good

// `let's get lost in lust *drea says (4:37 AM):
But I'm not
So I'm stuck in Sunny Singapore with my irritating gf
And a smelly dog and a pig of a cat

Don't we all wish to be rich. I'm officially VERY BROKE after the trip. ):