Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix

*Warning, spoilers ahead.

Met MINE after work and after school respectively at PS to catch Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix. Booked the tickets a couple of weeks back so you can guess how excited I was to catch the movie. But well, the movie turned out rather disappointing for me.

For those like MINE who has never went near the book, would probably not really comprehend with what exactly was going on in the movie. Everything moved so fast, putting as much details as they can in each and every scene.

Then as usual, the minor changes in the plot that only the avid HP readers would notice and this, was right from the start of the movie.

Dudley was not sent to the hospital; They only left just before TOTP(The Order of The Phoenix) turned up because Tonks sent them a muggle mail saying they won a best garden award thingy. TOTP did not just turn up at Harry's room door; Harry went down to the kitchen when he heard a crash made by Tonks.

I will just stop at the first two differences cause it'll take forever to list everything I spotted. I guess I'm just being super anal but yeah, I couldn't help going through the book while the movie played on.

But can someone just please tell me why Cho became the one who told on DA's meetings?! It was supposed to be Cho's best friend, Marietta and I was waiting to see the word SNEAK etched across her face!

And can someone else please tell me why, Sirus Black's mother's potrait did not scream the entire 1 minute of screen time it was given?! It was screaming in the entire book. I was looking forward to hearing her screech like a banshee.

Sigh. So yes, I was rather disappointed. I agreed with Jie that the previous directors were better but a valid point is that this book is way longer than the previous ones.

There were good things I reckon (typing this a lil reluctantly). Umbridge was as irritating and disgusting as depicted in the book. I personally loved Luna Lovegood, she was just so Looney. Haha.

Emma Watson is growing into a very pretty lady. The rest, I'm not too sure. X: Jie reckons that Daniel Radcliff is hot but I think otherwise. Still like his look better in Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone, way cuter there.

So yes. Sigh. Saturday, is the release of Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows. Rumours are that 2 of the main characters would die. I'm keeping my fingers crossed cause personally I don't want anyone to die.

---

On another note, I've been updating so frequently because I have absolutely nothing to do at work. In fact, I'm so damn sick of it cause I am bored and cold in the office. Plus, I'm so sleepy. Haven't been getting enough rest man. Sigh.

So yeah, if you see me on MSN and I'm not on Busy mode, come and disturb me or something. Dying of boredom here.

Smellin' Good

So this morning, I headed to the airport for something (you don't have to know what unless I choose to tell you). After I ran my errand, I proceeded to take the MRT to work.

Next to me sat 2 really cute Australian guys BUT, knn, body odour please. Yes, I have a real sensitive nose so I get extremely irate with all kinds of smells, pleasant or unpleasant.

I try not to walk into perfume stores or stores selling potpourri and sorts because it drives my nose crazy and gives me a bleeding headache. So yes, that's how sensitive my nose is.

Saturday at Phuture, there was a guy who stood in front of me who smelt so bad I wanted to barf my Heineken out. Seriously, can't people who smell bad, smell that they smell bad?!

And the spark that ignited this blog post is, ONE OF MY COLLEAGUE HAS BODY ODOUR. Wah fuck, I swear I'm so glad I'm not in the same room as her. Every time I walk into her room, I hold my breath so I won't faint from the smell. I wonder how the rest in her room can handle the smell 9 hours a day without dying from lack of oxygen.

Since I am so anal about smells. I get really paranoid if I forget my deodorant or perfume. I will keep pestering MINE with "Baby, do I smell?" Lol.

Today I smell of Elizabeth Arden's Green Tea. Yesterday I smelt of Givenchy's My Givenchy. Tomorrow, I think it'll be DKNY. I have yet to use my Estee Lauder one that I bought from DFS. Hmmmm. Sometimes, I smell of MINE's perfume. Hur.

Yeah, am blogging all these nonsense because, I have nothing to do at work once again. Harry Potter & The Order of Phoenix later with MINE. YAY!

Back To "School"

I am at work. Yeah, Saturday at 1525 hours and I am still at work. Not doing work though because the system is giving problems. So while I wait for my colleagues to fix the damn bug, I shall blog. Hur.

Work has been good so far. Rather slack but it gets really boring at times. At least I can surf the Internet and chat on MSN to kill time. Came back to work today since I have nothing to do at home and they need me here, plus pay is * 1.5 the normal rate so yeah, got extra money why don't earn right?! Lol.

Best thing is, I'm working at NAFA, feels totally like I'm coming here for lessons everyday but the fact is that I'm working here, not studying. LOL. Plus plus, it's opposite my favourite wanton mee! Heeheehee.

So MINE, went to MoS with the usual yesterday and I, was a total angel and stayed at home. -mock horror- I was so tired from work that after dinner, I just conked out. Haha.

Zouk tonight! Whee~ Okay, back to doing nothing now. Tata~

`Spinning: Parking Lot Pimp - Life's Thinking About You

Darlings

So I've been pretty busy of late, while at the same time, feeling a teeny bit under the weather. -mumbles-

Wednesday, was a good day despite the fact that I did not sleep at all and was out the entire day. Jac came to pick me up around 1030 and we headed to Cine to meet Jie. Then it was K Lunch. It was good but the food was well, gross. I was hungry anyway, so ate most of it.

Roamed around town after and I complained I was hungry. So Liat Tower's BK for Chicken Cheese Sticks! Yumm. Roamed around some more and I got hungry again so had Red Pearl Tea and Old Chang Kee's nuggets. Hur.

Jac left soon after for her dinner appointment so Jie and I headed to PS to meet Jo and Bessy the Birthday girl. Headed to Manhattan Fish Market and caught up with them for awhile. Left about an hour later to meet Ryl and Kerrie at Coffee Club, Somerset.

It was so good seeing my slumber princess after 1 bloody mother fucking year. Caught up quite a fair bit too. Hur. Had my Morning Dew Tea and Garlic Prawn Pasta. Yummy. Left for home bout 2 hours later because they had to head off to Zouk anyway.

Yes, I didn't club. Totally abhor Wednesday clubbing now. Plus, am already sick of clubbing. Same old boring shit. Plus plus, was so tired that I slept in the bus and almost missed my stop.

Was really glad to meet my darlings whom have "disappeared" to become nerdy freaks. We'll meet up again before either one of you leaves. ((:

Am going to be busy for the next month because I'll be working. Sigh. But it sure beats staying home doing nothing. At least, I'll be bringing in a bit of moolah. -beams-

Poor MINE is sick, again. Tsk. Always don't want to take care of yourself. Drink more water I tell you ah. Or I will kidnap Hershey. Hmph! Still love you la! Hur. -imitates my favourite MSN emoticon- LOL.

`Spinning: Ying Yang Twins Ft. Wyclef Jean - Dangerous

"Friends are for life"

Topsy Turvy

I'm wide awake, down with flu and a sore throat, and depressed, very depressed.

Why? I don't really know. It's been awhile since I've been so depressed. Been feeling down the past few days but the past 24 hours have been mayhem.

I'm so sick, so sick of this. I hate being thrown around like a rag doll. I hate that I have absolutely no control of anything at all. I wanna talk to someone, someone in particular, but I've never seem to gotten through her, and sometimes I think, I never will.

I'm tired, just really tired. I just wanna fall asleep, and never wake up.

`Spinning: Des'ree - Kissing You

"Life doesn't wait around for you to get back up on your feet."

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Why are we humans such procrastinating creatures?! At least, I shall point this charge against myself for now. I swear I'm such a horrible procrastinator that it's starting to bug me real bad. Shucks.

My room is in a mess because I have clothes hanging ALL OVER THE PLACE because I have yet to clear out my closet (I don't wear 3/4 of the clothes inside anymore) and it's too full that I can't even squeeze anything in. Plus, it's fucking hard to take anything out so I barely bother anymore.

Then my bags are all over the place as well, along with my educational certificates and what have you. All because I have yet to clear my drawers from my TP notes (Notes from year 1 to 3), God knows why I still keep them for.

Mummy's been nagging at me almost on a daily basis and when she reaches her limit it will be, sit down and do it NOW. Then I'll do it. If not, it'll be, tomorrow or another day or later. Shush.

Yes I do get irritated with the mess, but I keep telling myself, tomorrow. I swear I wanna slap myself already with the next tomorrow I come up with.

So here's a promise on the World Wide Web, I will do everything by the end of next week. Why not tomorrow or end of this week, because I'm busy all the way till Sunday.

`Spinning: Bjork & Paul Oakenfold - Sex Drive

Days of My (Not-So-Interesting) Life

I've been lazy to update but I refuse to let my blog wither to death from the lack of posts. The week's been rather "busy" considering I'm usually home 5 days a week. Hur.

Monday
I can't really recall what I did so I think I was just home doing the usual nonsense.

Tuesday
Mummy took leave to run some important errands so Lil Brat, Simon and I accompanied her along. After the errands were done and I happily forgot about my own errand, we headed to Holland Village. Went to Pet Lover's Centre and saw really cute puppies. Awwww. Then saw 2 Persian cats at another pet store, never just $580 each what? Knn. I wanted to bring both back with me! ):

Then headed to Blue Spoon Cafe at Ghim Moh to try their "Eurasian" food. Seriously there were only like 3 dishes that were "Eurasian" there, the devil's curry (which wasn't spicy enough), Shepard's pie (my favourite cause I just love it and it reminds me of my primary school best friend) and 1 more which I cannot recall it's name.

The food was okay only. Mummy had their roasted chicken, it was fine except that the poor chicken must have been starved to death. Haha. I had Bolognaise, it was good because the sauce was home made and had loads of herbs.

After which, we headed to International Building's Partyworld for KTV. Hurhur. It's been awhile since I KTV-ed. Did loads of singing because out of everyone (Michael, Matthew, Mummy, Simon, Lil Brat and myself) 3/4 of the time, Michael and I were singing. LOL.

Left at 2300 hours, an hour before our session was to end because Mummy had work the next day and both she and the Lil Brat were having headaches.

Wednesday
Was supposed to meet MINE but she was sick and since her mum took leave to take care of her, I decided to let them do some mother and daughter bonding and stayed home. That was to make it sound good, in fact, I was just too lazy to travel all the way down to her place. LOL.

Thursday
Woke up after my phone rang for a thousand times and headed to run some errands at the airport. After which, headed to Maxwell Market to run some more errands for MINE. Then to Lau Pa Sat to run more errands of my own. LOL. By the time I got home, it was 1700 hours and was dead tired.

Friday
Woke up at 1700 hours so 3/4 of the day was already gone. Nothing much. Just nua-ed at home. Yes, no Zouk. I've been an angel of late. LOL.

---

It's the weekend tomorrow and the last day before the GST increment so I reckon, town will be packed like crazy. Sigh. -headache- I hate crowds. Plus, if I get up on the wrong side of bed, I'm going to be super grouchy. -grumbles- I can see it happening already.

Am currently making MINE to book advance tickets for Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix (and she's taking forever to decide which cinema, blah blah). I can't wait for my new Harry Potter book to arrive too! -gushes- Yeah, I'm a closet HP fan can?! Anyhoos, happy weekend everyone!

PS. GST money is in already!

`Spinning: Bananarama - I Heard A Rumor

8 More Days

Yes, I am counting down till July is here. All because I'm so fucking broke now and it's been awhile since I've been so damn bloody broke. -grumbles-

July is the month where I finally can get some income from the government and also 2 confirmed job assignments. July please come faster! I need the bloody moolah to survive, like seriously. Sigh.

Anyway, I've been so bored at home. Bloody bored witless because I am broke so I try not to go out either and I haven't gone out except on Tuesday for awhile with MINE.

I'm so fucking frustrated I'm about to kill myself. Why is it always about the money. GOD. Why are humans so mother fucking materialistic. Why can't we just live without material wants? Argh.

`Spinning: Craig David - You Don't Miss Your Water (Till The Well Runs Dry)

Gaming Addiction

This is what I have been very busy with:

// `i'm queer *drea says (1:45 PM):
YES
// `i'm queer *drea
says (1:45 PM):
I just passed the halfway mark of level 45
//
`i'm queer *drea says (1:45 PM):
HAHAHAHA.

summer love says (1:46 PM):
LOL
summer love says (1:46 PM):
baby ar baby
summer love says (1:46
PM):
people busy with work, you busy with games

HEHEHE. I've been gaming on Neopets like crazy while MINE is going crazy with her FYP. Almost non stop that my right wrist and arm hurts from all the usage of the mouse. Yes Neopets is a teeny bit childish but some of the games are really challenging and addictive. Plus the fact I've been playing since I was 15. LOL.

Anyhoos, besides going crazy over gaming, MoS on Sat. Ran errands with Denise on Monday. And, that's about it. LOL. Before I go back gaming, here's Denise Darling and myself.

MoS; Spot MINE.

Monday Errands with the darling. ((:

`Spinning: Paul Van Dyk, Robert Miles & Ayla - For An Angel

"Addiction; The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with
or or involved in something."

Challenge The Gender Lines

Monday, mummy forced me to see the doctor after my cough made me puke 2 nights in a row. -mumbles- My doctor says that if by Friday I am not better with the medication, I'll have to go for an X-Ray because he's worried that it might be TB. Though he suspects that it's just an allergic cough. Goodness.

Then he weighed me again. I have officially lost another 2KG in the past 2 months. SIGH.

Anyway, went home to rest before heading out in the evening with MINE. Headed to Suntec to get something before rushing over to Marina Square for Shrek 3! I swear Puss in Boots is so damn cute! Mummy thinks that Lolly looks like Puss in Boots. Hur.

Speaking of Lolly, let me digress a little. I swear she's mother fucking smart. At 5am yesterday, I suddenly heard meow-ing outside the window and when I opened the door to check, she was outside! Can you believe it, she actually climbed 7 storeys all by herself to my door! Love her to death I tell you. Hahaha.

Back to the movie. It was good, quite funny. Especially loved the part where Pinocchio attempted to not lie to Prince Charming. Haha. Not forgetting the part where Puss in Boots was swapped into Donkey's body and he tried the "puppy" look, forgetting that he's in Donkey's body and it looked ridiculously disgusting. HAHAHA.

---

The much anticipated Butch Hunt 2007 is here. This year, I am even more disappointed than I was with the last batch. Can someone tell me what happened to all the good looking butches.

I do know that labels don't matter anymore in the PLU world because it's so passe. But what is it with too femme looking lesbians doing in Butch Hunt again?! If labels don't matter, then why is it called Butch Hunt and not Lesbian Hunt or something along those lines. I swear all these label nonsense is getting me and the world very confused.

Then there's an Andro Search organised by Two Queens coming up as well. How many of these competitions do we need man. And I'll bet you, there will be butches in the Andro Search.

No BH for me this year. Not even bothering to go vote online because I have better things to do like play Neopets. -grins-

`Spinning: Prodigy - Voodoo People (Pendulum Remix)

"Rainbow Pride."

Summer Lovin'

Thank God for friends like Jac and Jie.

To the both of you, thank you for being there when I needed you guys. Jac, thanks for calling all the way from Australia to check up on me. Jie, thanks for always never failing to be there. Love you both dearly.

---

Summer's in and so are all my darlings! Lil Miss Ryl is back from her 1 year MIA stint in UK. Denise will be back on Saturday and though late but better than never, Jac will be back on 1st July! -hops around-

Was supposed to meet Lil Ryl for Mambo on Wednesday but because of the annoying crowd, she decided staying home was a better idea.

I thought Ryl was extremely smart because from 0045 - 0200 when I was at Zouk, I almost got into 2 fights. GOD IT WAS SO FUCKING PACKED. My mood was totally ruined because of the crowd and cause Ryl wasn't there either.

Ryl, we must meet up before you go off to Malaysia again okay? Really miss you loads. Will text you soon. -hugs-

Pestered MINE till we finally left at 0200 for MoS. Was still sulking and throwing my temper around when I got to MoS. Refused to talk to anyone when I first reached. Then after cooling down, I just continued sitting at the table drinking like crazy.

Then I saw darling Marilyn! OMG. I almost went mad I tell you. We spent the rest of the night dancing, drinking and catching up. Like Guo Rong said, never seen me dance so much with another girl before. Hahaha. Cause usually at MoS, I'm sitting down drinking and only getting up once in awhile to c-walk with the guys. Hur.

Left MoS around 5 a teensy bit high from the Martell, Hennessy and Sour Apple. Headed to Macs to take away breakfast and called for a cab at the same time. KNN, Comfort/City Cab made me waste 30minutes of talk time and I didn't even get to speak with the damn operator. Thank God, Swee and MINE were also calling for other cab operators.

---

Vesak Day, MINE and I headed down town to run some errands. In the end, MINE bought a top and a pair of bookmarks for me. Hur. Got back to her area and walked around the pasar malam there. I bought a measuring tape (My measuring tape at home went missing), MINE bought a pack of Carebear Cards and some Sponge Bob stickers. Hahaha.

While walking through the pasar malam, I was already feeling a lil wozzy and flu-ish. By the time I got home, it became a full blown fever and flu. BLAH.

Got up this morning feeling worst than ever. Was supposed to bus 22 back but was feeling too weak to last the long journey so wasted 10 bucks on a cab instead. Till now, I still feel like crap. That is why I am home on a Friday night, no clubbing for me tonight man.

Tomorrow/Later, will be celebrating Elena's 20th Birthday with her at Zouk. Though it'll just be me, Swee, MINE and the birthday girl, I bet it'll be a blast. In advance, because I doubt I'll make it in time to blog before her birthday ends,

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY ELENA!

In accordance to the occasion, here are 2 random photos of our clubbing escapades together. ((:

Elena & Myself / MoS toilet.

Eve, Elena & Myself / Phuture.

`Spinning: Deep Dish - Flashdance

"Summer's over for the both of us
But that doesn't mean we should give up on us
Your the one that I've been thinkin of
And I knew the day I met you you'd be the one"

Life's A Bitch, A Real Big Bitch

I've had a bad day. When I say bad, do not underestimate it. In fact, bad doesn't even justify everything that has happened.

I'm feeling so lost now. There's no direction, nothing what so ever to look to. I don't know what to do anymore, I really don't.

Phone's been turned off, refuse to go on MSN even though I'm online. I don't want to talk to anyone because there's nothing left to say. I'm blogging because I need an outlet to let everything out.

I sparked off a physical and verbal fight at my Grandma's 72nd birthday. I know, how filial I am. Though the gathering was doomed to end this way, I didn't expect myself to start the ball rolling.

But I really couldn't take it. I couldn't take the insults thrown at me when it had nothing to do with me in the first place. Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is a bloody idiot, a mother fucking bloody idiot.

I almost killed today, killed someone that is. I totally lost it. Vulgarities spewed all over the place, with no regards of my elders. But, I didn't get physical because my mum was holding me back.

I'm sorry. To everyone. I know my temper's my biggest weakness, but I really tried so hard. I walked away before I could punch the bastard. I truly regret it now, because I can see myself stabbing him to death.

I can't stop thinking about everything that has happened earlier. Every scene just keeps repeating. From crying silently in the bus, crying in front of everyone pretending I was just tired, to walking away from the insult, to going back in and screaming at him. My mind's like a spoilt video, it just keeps replaying and replaying itself. It's really driving me crazy.

All I had for dinner was a can of Carlsberg. I don't even feel hungry. Now, I'm having Chivas neat. It's easier to fall asleep this way, least I won't spend the entire night crying.

My eyes are so sore I barely can open them anymore. I'm so tired but I can't sleep.

It's all my fault. Everything's my fault. My existence is just nothing but trouble and unhappiness. This time I really know, I'll be better off dead.

Don't worry, I'm rather sure I'll stay alive though dying seems like a better option at the moment. I promised. And I always try to make sure I never break them.

But sometimes, depression gets the better of you.

`Spinning: Corrinne May - Will You Remember Me

"My face on the water
Wrinkles with the tide
And vanishes from the ocean's silver screen
Like stars sprinkled in the sky
Forgotten when the sun appears
Will you remember"

Of Shopping & Life

To a particular someone:
Darling, I know it's really hard on you now and I'm sorry I can't be much of help. But do remember, I'll be here when you're back and I'm only a phone call or sms away. Hang in there babe. I love you. Stay strong. -hugs-

---

As much as I think my life sucks, I am aware that there are people out there having it worst than I am at this very moment. Kids in Africa dying from malnutrition and various third world country diseases, soldiers dying for their country in Iraq, innocents killed in terrorists attacks.

Coming back closer to home, I do know of a few who are currently having it worst than I am. It sucks that I can't do anything much to help them and I hate it but that's just life. There's only so much one can do.

I am a firm believer of destiny and fate but not the delusional kind. We all have control of our own lives to a certain extent and I feel awfully lousy that I've completely lost all control of mine. I'm trying my best to regain the control back but till now, to no avail. Sigh.

Okay, enough of emo stuff. Had a great day yesterday. After casting, went to visit mummy at work and ended up spending 4 hours at her workplace having lunch with her and her boss and volunteering free labour.

Then MINE text-ed to date me out. HAHA. We finally went pak tor-ing after a very long time and after my relentless badgering. x:

Left mummy's and walked to the National Library to return and borrow books there for the first time. Yes la, I'm a sua ku, finally went to NLB for the first time. After that, strolled my way to City Hall because I was still WAY early to meet MINE.

Window shopped around and resisted buying a tube top from Miss Selfridge because I have been shopping way too much. LOL. Will touch on that later.

Finally hunger was knocking on MINE's stomach and the plan was for Pasta Mania but because I walked through the Food Court, MINE saw Kimichi Soup and we ended up there. Haha.

Bought my Yami Yoghurt for dessert and MINE skipped her dessert because she was already looking 2 months pregnant. LOL. Home after that. ((:

Baby, had a great time yesterday. When your holidays are here, more pak tor-ing okay? Love you! -smuacks-

---

Saturday, I succumbed to temptation and bought a badge from Agnes B (only after coming home, Lil Brat told me she can get 30% discount but wth anyway) and cleaned out my Topshop gift card with a turtle neck "bare backed" top.

Not to mention I am still waiting for my spree stuff. The "stuff" has increased from 2 E.L.F items to include a pair of wedges and a bag both from Taiwan sprees. -grins-

Of course I still can't beat MINE with her Comme Des Garcons + many random buys and Elena with her CRAZY shopping but I need to stop. My expenditure is way more than my income, which is currently zilch. I am so broke! Now I need to strike Thursday's 5.5 million TOTO. Hahaha.

P.S. I have a list of people whom I want them to be killed in a terrorist attack. I mean it.

`Spinning: Oscar G & Ralph Falcon - Dark Beat (Addicted To Drums)

I Bruise Easily, Really I do

Finally got back my old songs from MINE and somewhat at a time like this, I'm really glad to get them back.

Been listening only to the emo songs and my trance/house tracks. The R&B/Hip Hop tracks are conveniently skipped with a click of the mouse because I am so damn sick of them. Hear them every Friday and Saturday anyway.

The songs I have, I have a real penchant for them. I know the tunes, I know the lyrics. Most of all, I am able to relate to them one way or another.

I haven't been in the best of moods. Even getting high on Saturday wasn't a blissful thing. Instead, it was more like a "drown my sorrows" affair. I didn't get drunk though because, I didn't want to. I played my part and stayed sober. But mostly, I didn't want to cry in front of people that have never seen me cry and this, is a first for me.

To be honest, I don't even know what bloody sorrows I have. I've just been feeling really down the past week or so. Sigh. Too many things have been happening in a short time and it doesn't help that I feel so helpless.

I'm tired now. Casting at 1030 hours tomorrow morning. It's bed time. I just do hope I'll fall asleep fast.

`Spinning: Armin Van Buuren & Dj Tiesto - Take Me Away

"My skin is like a map, of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks, but it's not a negative thing"

Nervous Breakdown

Okay. I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE.

Yes, I am sick of bumming around already. Mondays - Fridays I am usually at home unless something crops up outside and I have to attend to it. Once a week I go to the National Library to restock my books. Besides all that, all I do is come online; play games, chat, check forums, check e-mail, sleep, eat and smoke.

I swear having nothing to do all day long just makes me eat and smoke and sleep most of the time. This lifestyle is supposed to make you fat. IT'S SUPPOSED TO OKAY?! Considering I take supper EVERY DAY. WHY AM I NOT GAINING WEIGHT. WHY?!?!

Omg fuck. I swear I'm going mad already. Getting all cooped up like this. Then the boring MoS Saturday night which beats staying at home doing what I do 5 days a week.

WAH FUCK. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF ALREADY LA.

Doesn't help that all my friends are scattered across the globe now. One in UK (Ryl), the other down under in Perth (Jac), another one holidaying in San Frans (Denise). I don't even want to mention Marilyn who's probably flying to God knows which continent as I type.

Even the ones in Singapore are so busy. Sigh. I swear I will go mad soon, honest.

Even MINE is so busy with school. I can't blame her either cause the poor baby's already going mad with her curriculum. -wails-

BABY I REALLY MISS YOU.

As I type, I'm silently breaking down. I really am.

"There’s only so much you can learn in one place
The more that you wait, the more time that you waste
I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own
It sways and it swings and it bends until you make it your own
I can make it alone"

G(ive) S(o) T(ake) Offset

Ahh. The much anticipated GST Offset that we Singaporeans have been looking forward to. My letter finally arrived and I'm so pleased that I'm getting $250. Hehehe.

To be honest, I didn't really care how much I would be getting because I knew I'll prolly either get $200 or $250 because of my total household income and home category. I was more worried about not getting the money because the government has always "cheated" with the sentence, "Be aged 21 as of 1st January 2007". Thank God that's not the case or I'd be banging my head against the wall just because I was born almost 5 months later.

Was reading through the FAQs section of the GST Offset website and I saw this, "NSF/NSmen (both active and inactive) will get an additional $100 worth of GST Credits in recognition of their contributions to Total Defence." and I have something to say about it.

Those who know me well, would know I'm a real feminist and all about equal gender rights. So why isn't there a clause that states, "An additional $100 worth of GST Credits for all women who have given birth in recognition of their contribution to Singapore's population."

So what? We go through our painful monthly periods, carry a child for 9 months (assuming you only have 1 child), bear with all that labour pain what have you and don't deserve a measly extra $100?! Seriously, tell me how is that fair?! How to encourage women to have 2 or more children like that? No motivation at all! -shakes head-

P.S. Not that it affects me because the only 3 babies I have are Hershey, Lolly & Baby. Namely a dog, a cat and a terrapin. LOL.

"Money money money!"

Of Ear Sticks & Fast Food

Of late, I've been a teeny bit depressed. Reckon that it has a lot to do with what happened on the 8th plus the added agony of loneliness getting to me. MINE has been so busy with school and I have been busy turning my life upside down literally by getting my sleeping hours all wrong again when I finally had it normal for 2-3 weeks.

I realise that my sleeping hours go haywire every time I'm depressed and it sucks. All because I sleep in the day, wake up at dinner time, then stay awake till the morning around 0800 - 1000 hours and the vicious cycle repeats.

Then there's the extreme crazy eating binge I go on and still don't put on any bloody weight. Sigh. It's not normal to eat like every regular girl and weigh 41 KG on a good day and 39.5 KG on a bad day. Envy the weight all you want, I'd give it to anyone with a normal weight of 45-48KG for my height because I'm so underweight that it's disgusting and abnormal.

As usual, I haven't slept a wink since I woke up at 1800 hours yesterday. Played games online till bout 0600 hours this morning, read Herworld Mag, read Harry Potter & The Order of The Phoenix for the millionth time before getting ready to go out to run errands.

Headed to the library to return and borrow more books for my depression induced nights and boring life. Then to the bank to QCD (Quick Cheque Deposit) my pay check from the golf event. Will only get the money on Monday which sucks cause I need it to buy Mother's Day present for Mummy. I only have myself to blame because I was supposed to run these errands yesterday but sleep sounded better.

Then bought ear sticks and some nonsensical nail stickers for a total of S$1.90 only. Haha. Those who have been hanging out with me know that I've gone a lil mad with my nails of late. The ear sticks were to replace my tragus barbell which I officially lost because I took it out for the 8th. Bloody fuck make me lose it for nothing. With regards to the ear sticks, I think I last wore them in Secondary School which was officially 5 years ago. LOL.

Craved for Mac's Cheeseburger and decided that it would be my lunch accompanied by a medium Coke. Hurhur. Now, I'm officially having a stomach ache. This is what happens when you have fast food for brunch.

At Mac's, I saw a ton of school kids, I reckon it must be the exam period not because it was too early for school to have ended. Then continued to see more KC girls waiting for buses to KC. Brought me reminiscing the times where I could eat LJS almost on a daily basis or survive on a cup of bubble tea just for lunch. Haha.

God, ear sticks and fast food. Such memories.

"What we remember from childhood we remember forever; Permanent ghosts,
stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen. -Cynthia Ozick"

Failure

I didn't make it. After everything, I didn't make it.

After thinking about it the entire day, I figured maybe what went wrong but oh well, a little too late for that now.

Now, I'll have to pick up from where I left off. I can't continue going on this way. Something needs to be done about my life, something, anything.

See, luck is never on my side.

"My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's
doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be
lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key
to my destiny. - Elaine Maxwell."

Do or Die

This is my 600th blog post since abnegation started out in December 2003. ((: -pats self on back-

Yes, I'm not the kind of person who would change blog addresses every few months or so (looks pointedly at Jie and Ryl) and I've made it a point to stick to abnegation like it has stuck to me for the past couple of years. Despite the 2 blog wars I've had and a couple of rude anonymous taggers in the beginning, everything has been fine and dandy. ((:

---

Met Denise dear on Wednesday to catch up and all and oh boy did we really talk a lot in 1 day's span. Hurhur.

First up was lunch at Pastamania, TM. Then headed to town to check out Kate Moss, Topshop's collection (which launches only on the 17th of this month). After which was to Prada, Paragon to leave my contact number so I wouldn't have to constantly go over and ask if my wallet is in stock already. The guy kindly told me that it probably won't come in till Autumn/Winter collection which is like October! Which is like half a year to go! -grumbles-

Headed over to Starbucks at California Fitness to rest our feet and talk some more. Hurhur. MINE joined us shortly and we decided to leave town for Bugis.

Bugis-ed awhile and had LJS for dinner. After dinner we had no idea what to do and we ended up at Mustafa! Hahaha.

Denise bought her gold watch, MINE bought yet another watch and some other nonsense. Finally, around 2230, we went home and Denise went to Zouk. (:

Babe, it was good catching up with you. Thanks for all the talking. Love you! See you on Friday at Zouk ar? Haha. -hugs-

---

4 more days to the 8th. -shudders- The 8th is the day where I either do or die, literally. I don't know how I'll take to failing and I do know I'd be estatic if I pass. Everyone please pray for me. Luck is never on my side like how my mum pointedly said to my grandma earlier. So PRAY PLEASE PRAY!

"Either you make it, or break it"

21 Years & 6 Days Old

I realised I haven't been doing any substantial blogging, especially bout the over-rated big 21 so here I am now. Hur. (:

So on the Saturday before my birthday, which was the 21st of April, met MINE, Mummy, Lil' Brat and Simon in town and headed to buy my birthday present from mummy. IT'S FUCKING OUT OF STOCK. I saw the damn wallet 3 days before and 3 days later it's gone!

Singaporeans are so damn rich. I took 4 days considering whether to buy a $650 Prada wallet and when I finally decided on it, it was sold out. -cries- I'm still patiently waiting for my Prada wallet to come back in stock. -grumbles- To be precise, I'm waiting for that particular colour to come back in stock. I'm not going to make mummy spend $650 on a wallet with a colour I haven't fallen in love with.

Headed over to Heeren's Village for dinner and I was pleasantly surprised with the attendance of Ron, Jem and Chy. Thank you guys for coming and the cute lil' Topshop sling pouch! ((: Thank you Ah Bay for the Borders gift card and also the prepaid deposit of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (which is only available on the 21st of July).

Walked around town after dinner before heading down to MoS. Met Elena on our way to MoS. Thank you dear for the necklace! Thanks especially for going down despite being so tired. Loves!

MoS that night was good because despite the Champagne and Flaming Lambo, I was perfectly sober. -beams- The guys surprised me with an ice cream cake from Swensens with the Disney Princesses on top and a HUGE birthday card. Thanks to all who were there and thanks for the Topshop gift card though no one wants to tell me how much it holds and I haven't gotten to checking it either.

The Sunday and Monday before my birthday was like any other Sunday and Monday except that MINE didn't go to school on Monday. Hur.

On the day itself, had dinner with MINE, Mummy, Ah Bay and Simon at Charlie's Corner (located at Changi Village). Had my long time craving for Medium Rare steak fulfilled. Hehe. Bus 59-ed home after dinner and headed over to MINE's after packing my overnight stuff.

MINE presented me with my birthday card and birthday present when we got to her place. MINE bought this Tinkerbell birthday card that I saw on Yahoo Auctions and it's so damn pretty! Awwww.

Tiffany & Co's 1837 Ring. ALL MINE! ((:

MINE bought me my Tiffany & Co. Ring though I asked for one with a huge diamond on top but this will suffice for now. Hehe. Anyhow, I love it to bits! (((: Thank you baby. Love you deep deep! -smuacks- Thank you for arranging for the surprise dinner with Chy & gang and also the surprise with the guys at MoS. -hughug-

This 21st birthday has been a very good one and so far, I'm happy getting 1 year older. Haha. Thanks for all the wishes, presents and love showered on me. And for once in a very long time, I didn't cry on my birthday or on the day before or the day after. (:

P.S.: 26th was a success as well! Now, last round on the 8th. Pray for me!

"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a
lifetime.
-John P.Grier"