Staying at home really does me no good. I just end up feeling emo and fucked up with myself and probably the rest of the world. But I just can't help it, it's a feeling that lingers and refuses to go away. I need to get over that feeling because it's eating me up slowly, day by day.
With all honesty, life has never been better. I'm happy because I have loved ones who truly care and love me but something's just missing, just one thing. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I guess I'm just being Miss Abnegation; denial is just another method of running away from reality.
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I'm getting sick of bumming around so I've launched into "job search" mode but it's not going well at all. I don't even know what I want to do exactly, so my options are rather open as long I still stay in the Hospitality & Tourism industry.
Quite a few people have suggested that I go into the "night life scene" since I'm working at Peranakan Place now, my biological clock goes so well with the working hours and it is part of the industry, but I hesitate because I am not willing to give up my personal night life, at least not just yet.
Can you imagine no Mambo or Bounce with Andrew on Wednesdays and no Flava with Andrew on Fridays?! I mean yes, I've toned down a lot in terms of clubbing but if I really do go into the night life, it would mean zero clubbing and I'm not ready for that.
"You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger, ah
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger"
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