ur only form of privacy has been invaded.

*parks spaceship on your nose*

study hard or i'll zap you to pluto wit me.
i'll be right here if u need me.
love you.

guess who?
feeb

Dear God,

Please pray hard for Andrea.
She hasn't studied yet and its already Thursday morning.
Please kick her butt hard and make sure she starts right away.
Or she would have to do Supp, which she will regret.
She has only compiled her notes so far.
She hasn't even gone through them.
Considering the number of times she skipped lectures,
She's heading for doomsville.

Been working pretty much. Not going to work tomorrow anymore. Andrea the Princess is officially sick. Suddenly at work yesterday, I started feeling dizzy and puky. It was a Monday and Coffee Club was full house. Are people mad or mad?! Its a Monday night. Go home for God's sake. Goodness. We were pretty understaffed. Guess they didn't expect a full house either. Jo and Darren let me off earlier and I cabbed home. Asked Mummy to wait downstairs for me to pay for the cab fare. Oh oh. I must mention. On Saturday, I ended up doing graveyard shift. Roger and Hisham psycho me into it. Lol. Did bar for the graveyard shift. Lucky Nisha was patient enough to teach me e stuff. Didn't have time to learn all the drink though. Just the basics. Did barback after that. Exhausting but it was fun.

Went to Beef's house to stayover on Sunday! Finally I got to watch 13 going on 30. My Jennifer Garner. Ooooh. What a babe. *drools. Anyhoos, I was Princess for the night. Beef kept saying I was in denial. Oh whatever. I AM always in denial. Abnegation hello?! Headed to Toa Payoh Central before work yesterday. Had Swensens baked rice. Yummy. Ate so much till I felt sick. Hope it didn't contribute to my dizziness at work.

So it obviously shows that I haven't started studying. Not to mention, my Marketing notes are half empty. Hehs. Will have to call Ryl or Chy later I guess. *grins. Basically I haven't even compiled my notes. Oh well. Going to start soon. Soon la huh. Lol. Time for a smoke.

*edited--

Just found out my marketing coursework grade. D+. I am utterly disappointed and I do not understand why cause I did so much for marketing. I shall just double check with Ms Chia about it.

Fuck.

Pissed. Tired. Stressed. Pms-ing.

Best of Blue concert was fucking boring. Left halfway. Complimetary tickets anyhoos.

Didn't do my BESE final assignment. Which means I'm going to fail BESE. God bless me.

Half my marketing notes ain't complete.

At least I got a B average for most of my coursework grade.

I hate school. Considering on dropping out.

Whatever bitch. Piss off.

*edited--

Haven't really blogged in awhile. Been really tired. I really am exhausted. Can't wait for school to end.

Met Beef on Saturday. Headed to Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao for dinner as I had some voucher thingy. We ate sooo much. But it was free, so we just ordered and ordered. Haha. Blasted fun. Beef wanted to do some shopping, so off to Far East it was. She's such a shopaholic. She wins me hands down. 80 bucks in 10 mins?! She bought a pair of pants and a t-shirt. Tsk tsk. Felt greedy and got a double scoop of chocolate ecstasy. Heaven. There's nothing like Chocolate ice cream. *grins. Beef didn't want to head home so early as she wanted to save explaining the paper bags. Lol. So went to borders. Saw this really nice book. Can't remember the title. Almost bought it. But, I got a paper chase bag and pen instead. All for 12 bucks! Thanks to Tits for the staff discount. *smiles.

Didn't sleep the whole night and left my place at 5.15am for the terry fox run. The earliest bus was at 5.50am. Which was impossible as I had to be at habourfront at 6.15am. So crap shit. Took a damned cab to tampines interchange. It cost me a whole 5 bucks. Freaking expensive. After the run, slacked around with tourism peeps. Met Beef and Leong around noon. Tanning. Leong left after what? 30mins. Wet blanket. Was so tired from exhaustion that I fell asleep for an hour or so. So I wonder was Beef was doing while I was asleep. Hmmm. Headed to town for awhile then went home.

My bank is almost empty already. Spent a whole fucking 50 bucks on MCs just within 2 weeks. I'm never going to get my 7610. I don't see it coming. Shall just stick to my lovely phone. Hardly even bought myself stuff. Just the small bag and pen.

Been so depressed these days. Tears come and go as they like. I miss having time for myself. I miss Sel and Quek. I miss spending quality time with Beef. I miss being me. I keep so many things to myself these days. I don't like to talk about it anymore. Because noone ever understands. Sick and tired of explaining. I am just who I am. I'm sensitive. To everything. When people around me whiper. I got nuts. My thoughts go wild. I hate whispering. Its rude. I assume too much. That who and who might be talking about me. But its cause half the time I'm right. I'm always right when it comes to stuff like this. Never been wrong. I've been through stuff many haven't. So don't tell me what to do or not to do. School was crappy today. Has always been crappy. Will always be crappy. Don't even want to talk about it. My whole education life will always be screwed. Always. Cause, noone ever understands me. Only Beef, Quek and Sel do. I believe, for the rest of my life, they will be the only ones who love me as I am. I love you guys. Miss ducky and sotong loads. Meet up soon. Clubbing yeah?

This is me. Take it or leave it.

'Is there a club for unhappy people?' Samantha said eagerly. 'I'd like to join.'
'You're already a member, kid. It's called the Human Race.'
- The Hen Party, Kath Kincaid.

Flashback to Sunday. Slept all the way to 3pm. Felt so good to sleep so long. Wheee. Met Beef in the evening cause I decided I was way too tired to work again. So I didn't work for the whole week. *grins. Met her at City Hall, did the usual walking around. I decided to be a pig so we headed to Nooch for my favourite Tom Yam Glass Noodles. Yummy.

Remembering yesterday, Monday. Dragged myself to school for a final AR meeting. Then it was the damned AR interview at 10am. First class, 3rd group to do the damned interview. It was a disaster. But thank god I managed to understand her question and she managed to understand me. That's all I ask for. Went home to grab my work stuff and headed to meet Beef and Gui Feng for awhile. At LJS for dinner. Yummy. Then work was it. Work was okay. Just really boring. I miss all my old colleagues. They were so much fun. Almost had to do bar. But it was too busy, so they can't afford to ask someone who doesn't know the bar well to do. But I did the deserts. *beams. Asked Audrey (Senior Marcomm Manager) the bitch about internship. Apparently she was from Tp - Tourism. What a disgrace. Anyhoos digressing here, Coffee Club does take in interns. So anyone interested in Coffee Club for their internship, let me know. It would be my last resort.

Today, couldn't get up for Marketing tutorial at all. Slept till 11. Then woke up and headed to school for Saffron. Well, it took us 2 hours to complete the 4 course meals. Why? There was some screw up apparently. We waited almost 1 hour for our main course. In the end, they gave us another complimentary mocktail to compensate. Marilyn sweets ate so much bread rolls, including mine to stop her hunger pangs. I had the Asparagus wrapped in bacon thingy for starters, 2 Summer Breeze, Dory fillet with Rosti and the ever and only wonderful desert. Some caramel bananas in DARK chocolate mousse thingy. That was the only best part I swear. Overall, its okay. Shall give some credit for the fact they are students just like me. Good job overall guys! Service guys, just smile more okay? It will help. :D OB lecture was as usual boring. Zzzzzzzz. Met up with Beef at TM. Went to watch The Terminal. Nice movie. Go catch it. Really funny and tugs your heart strings. Bumped into my darling after the movie. Darlingggg, it was so good to see you. Apparently, darling was in the same cinema watching the same movie. She was at Bugis on Saturday too. Haha. Stop stalking me already, I know you love me. Hehe. Went to macs to chat for awhile with darling, beef, and bro in-law. Haha. Happy Birthday Bro in-law aka Zhen Hui!
Its going to be a horrible Wednesday and Thursday cause Marketing is due on Friday. Someone save me.

App Res is almost done! Almost! Just a weeny weeny bit more. I'm so damned exhausted. Facing this darn screen day in day out. Just about to faint any moment. Dread Marketing like hell. Then there's still Comm Skills. Sweet. *spits.

Met the Beef after project today. Cancelled work again. Was just to tired to work on a Sat when its usually full house. Rushed for a movie at Bugis and sneaked macs into the cineplex. We caught Raising Helen. Its a nice show. Funny yet sad at times. Beef was being such a pig and she decided she wanted to eat Swensens. So oh well. Swensens was it. We didn't even get time to walk around. After that I rushed home and here I am. Its like rushing here and there everyday. I don't even know how to relax anymore. The only time I get to relax is when I smoke.

The stress really got to me on Friday. Broke down and cried to Marilyn. I just couldn't take it any longer. Thanks sweetie for listening to me. Love you loads. I'm really disappointed with myself this semester. I've got 3 warning letters in total. Been such a sleeping (literally) group member when it comes to App Res. Sorry to my group mates. No worries about the attendance thingy. I'm totally fine with it. Its only fair to all of ya. Its just so tiring to juggle so many things at one time. I just wished that there was one more of me. Just one more.

Was fucking late for BESE tut, to add to my misery, I had a major bad hair day. Fuckerr. Missed the second half of App Res Lec. Fucking boring as usual. Headed straight home after that, took a bath, changed and rushed back to school. Continued doing App Res project. I hate SPSS. Fuck shit crap. So obviously I'm in a real cranky mood. Why? Cause everyone who is in a bad mood, takes their shit out on me. Like I'm some full time punch bag. I'm human like everyone else, I have my limits too okay. Argh whatever fuck. I need my ciggarettes badly. Fucking stressed up. Chee neh.

Played table tennis today. Fuck can. I have perfect vision but I can't seem to see the damned orange ping pong ball. Like I'm fucking blind. The irony of it. I keep missing the damned ball. Swimming or a nice long run instead anyone? Ball games aren't my cup of tea.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sick of school. Sick of work. Sick of getting fucked for no reason. Sick of every single one of you.

I have no life. Its just school school school everyday. This morning I woke up late. Then I rushed to bathe. Halfway while bathing, I noticed something moving in the toilet bowl. Fuckk. A damned lizard. I'm terrified of them. So i flushed the toilet hoping it would drown or something. It didn't die until 1/2 hour later. So I wasted 40mins in the toilet trying to kill the damned pest as I was afraid it would "molest" me. Hahahaha. Project the whole damned day. I hate App Res. *sighs. Decided to meet Beef for awhile. Haven't been talking to her on the phone or meeting her. Too busy with the projects and by 10pm every night. I conk out. Feeling darn sleepy now too.

Haven't done shout outs in a long while. So here goes.

//Beef* Baby darling, cheer up yeahh. She will learn to understand one day. Don't worry too much about it for the time being okay? I love you loads. Sorry for not being able to spend time with you recently. Take care. -hugs n muacks.

//Quek* Duckyy! Hope you like the Volcom t-shirt Sel and I got you. Drea has good taste okay! I personally like the shirt. Too bad there wasn't a xxs size, or I would have gotten it. Haha. Anyhoos, take care and I'll see you soon. -hugs.

//Sel* Darlinggg. I miss you loads. Meanwhile, take care of yourself and hang in there. Soon, the exams will be over and so will the projects. Then we can go clubbing together yeahh? Haven't clubbed with you in months. Love you loads. -hugs.

//Ryl* My lil angel Ah Ryl! Haha. See you every single day in school but I still miss you nutty antics. Haha. Hang in there for Comm Skills, Marketing and App Res. It will be all over soon. Take care of your health and I love you! -hugs.

//Dele* My fellow groupmate I love you! The nuttiest, healthiest and weakest. Haha. Cause you're constantly bullied by Nel nel and Ele Fan. Poor girl. Anyhoos, thanks for being such a fantastic friend. Love you loads. See you tomorrow! -hugs.

//Mels* Melissa Chew Piao Liang. Wheee. My fellow vegetable. Tomato. I'm a mixture of Carrot and Pineapple. Anyhoos, thanks for being you. Love you for the way you are. Please stop whining about being fat blah blah. Rhino, elephant what nots. I will Slap you I tell you. Haha. Love you tons! -hugs.

//Marilyn* My dearest bitch. Ma La Guo. Hahaha. I know things aren't exactly going your way now. Cheer up okayys? All of us are here for you. Dele, Mels, Ryl etc. We all love you no matter what. You're a strong woman, you know that and so do we. Stay that way okay? It will blow over soon. Love you loads. -hugs.

//Shawn* Hoiii. Always bullying me. See I'm such a nice lil sister. HAHA. Anyhoos, miss you mad antics like mad. Lol. Guess cause I'm darn stressed out and can do with some irritation and a nice massage. Anyhoos, take care and I'll see you soon. -hugs.

In Lab 10 supposedly doing Marketing *looks over shoulder. but we aren't of course. Hee. Ah Ryl is next to me blogging too. Wheee. Oh well. Marketing is due next Friday, Applied Research is due on Monday. Blah blah blah. App Res is a major disaster. Goodness gracious me.

Cancelled work yesterday. I was just too exhausted to work anymore. Ended up meeting Beef. We hardly get to spend time anymore. So might as well meet her. Headed to City Hall area and decided to shop for Quek's present. Haha. Found the perfect present just as Beef found the perfect t-shirt. Now she's blaming Quek for making her spend money on a Volcom t-shirt. Ahahaha. Check out the blog for her apology to her ATM card. Lol. Lame shitters. Feeling sleepy and crappy. There's still BESE and OB lecture after this. Crap shit. Then we're doing App Res project. Bugger. A month more to go till its the holidays. Hang in there everyone.

A poem by Russel Kelfer given to me by my darling Dele Lee Siew Mai. Love you babe!

You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're JUST what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape you heart,
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God! :)

With regards to my previous post, the English was not that bad. Not atrocious. There are worst out there. I guess I was just worn out and cranky. Thus the exaggeration. Finally OB project is done and over with. Only left with OB presentation, App Res, Marketing and Comm Skills. So much with the word only. Not to mention the online quizzes and App Res class test and Semester Exams. Got the exam timetable already. 4th - 7th. Straight 4 days of torture. God.

Went to school for project today. *groans. Saturday and I still have to go to school. No choice, OB presentation on Monday. Had lunch with the group at Ang Keong. Yummy Wan Ton Mee. Everyone was so stuffed after the meal. Ele Fan had Chicken Rice and Ban Mian, Dele Lee Siew Mai had Da Pau, Da Jie Jess had Ban Mian, Nel Nel had I can't remember what, Cheryl had hokkien mee and Lontong (shared with Nel) and also everyone shared 12 Tutu kuehs. Goodness, that was how much we all ate. Headed home to grab my work stuff then rushed to work. Work was terrible today because of some unseen turns. 2 colleagues quit. Cai Ling and Wei Shu. My two hospi girls. *sighs. 2 lesser people to chat and gossip with at work. The new manager was such a whore. Shall not even talk about it. If you want to know about the big hoo haa screaming scenario, come to me and I'll tell you about it. My blood boils thinking about it. The only nice part about work was that Jac and Quek came to visit me. Quek had Slipper Lobster Linguini (Aglio Olio Style) and Muddy Mud Pie, Jac had Slipper Lobster Linguini and Chocolate Truffle. Glad they enjoyed the creme de la creme of the Coffee Club menu (my recommendations of course). Beef came to pick me up from work, headed to 7-11 to buy instant Chicken Bryani. Ate and drank then took the 2nd last bus home. So tired.

I finished my 4th novel in the week. So on average I read 2 novels every week, in 1 month I read 8 novels. I so proud of myself. I love reading. *gleams. Oh oh oh. I finally got my pay. Not really a lot but three times as the previous one. I think they didn't pay me for some hours. Shall calculate it later. Going to save half of it for my 7610. The other half of the half will go to highlighting my hair. The rest? I don't know. Nothing much I want to buy now. I'm so tired. Working tomorrow 5pm - 11pm. *stifles a yawn.

I'm tired.
I'm stressed.
I'm fucking freaked out.
I hate Tourism Marketing.
I hate Organisational Behaviour.
I hate missing project meetings.
I hate people with atrocious grammar.
I hate school.
My back is aching like fuck.

I love Myself.
I love Beef.
I love my besties, Quek n Sel.
I love my darlings, Chy, Ryl n Marilyn.
I love my groupmates.
I love my sister and mum.
I love my cigarettes.
I have yet to learn to love my life as a whole.

I miss my bed.
I miss Beef.
I miss my besties.
I miss my darlings.

Its fucking 5.09am in the morning and I'm obviously not fucking asleep. Another sleepless night for me, and its BESE at 8.30am. *groans. Did my work from 1am to 4.30am. Half the time trying to figure out the atrocious use of grammar. I was about to pull my hair out. Fuck. Only Ryl and Ele Fan would know who's English was driving me to my wits end. God. Then I realised. The answer was irrelevant to the god dammit fucking chee bye question. I wanted to die. That killed all inspiration to continue. At that time I had yet to do OB. I'm not saying that my level of the English language is fantastic but simple grammar? Hello. I wonder how some pass their English O' Levels. I pity the poor English people who have to go through all those horrible and not to mention head banging scripts during winter. I have barely started on OB and I have no idea what in the name of God to do for OB. Someone help me.

Didn't feel good the whole damned day. Fuck. Keep coughing till I puked or wanted puke. Dressed simply in my Roxy t-shirt and shorts, I headed to school. Comm Skills consultation was so boring that I was dozing off. Had to struggle to keep my poor eyes open. At least I got an A for the Application Letter, Resume and Interview. Phew~ Did marketing project after that. After draining our brains out for about an hour or so. We realised we did extra work. Bug it. Wanted to go home for dinner then dang~, Mum not coming home again. 3 days in a row already. But its good. I love it when the parentals aren't home. *grins. So had dinner at KFC with Ele Fan, Aaron, Sus my loyal blog fan, Dele lee siew mai and cat absuser Jerms. My darling Ma la guo came with us while waiting for her dad. Haha. Funny people. Kept joking and laughing. Sus and Aaron were talking about "GUY" stuff and refused to tell me what they were talking about. Neh neh shait you both. What one night stand with *ahem* all. Tsk tsk. I tell her then yall know. Hahaha. Anyhoos, had fun. Thanks guys. Tomorrow, gonna go out with Sel, Zhen Hui, 'birthday' girl Quek and my darling Beef. Hehs. For now, OB and marketing project. Bugger.