Right Back In My Arms

Baby is back! Complete with lots of alcohol, dreadlocks, a sexaye voice and loads of presents for me. -skips around the room and grins like a complete mofo-

With my nose pressed to the glass at Terminal 1's arrival hall, I waited like an eager beaver. Then after what felt like ETERNITY, she finally appeared!

It was like falling in love with her all over again complete with butterflies in my stomach. -triple beam-

I'm the happiest girl alive. Now to stay alive, I need to sleep, it's been almost 30 hours.

Goodnight beautiful world.

((:

"Everyday, I thank God that I found you."

Hurry Back To Me

I have officially morphed my body clock to suit American hours and I swear I feel like I'm suffering from perpetual jet lag.

So I didn't sleep until around 1530 hours yesterday (from the day before) and I got up today at 0020 hours when the Weed called from BKK. As of now, 0655 hours, I am wide awake. Like omfg, somebody kill me please.

So I've been tweaking resumes, contemplating on sending them out, procrastinating, you know the usual nonsense to why I still haven't gotten a damn job up till now. At least this time around I got something substantial done as promised to the Weed.

Graduation ceremony is just 9 days away and I am so dreading it because I just abhor ceremonial procedures but the dearest mummy insists on it so what choice do I have right? Bloody bugger. The only motivating factor to attend the ceremony would be seeing my girls and all HTM people, for what might be the last time, gathered together. |:

Anyway, I mentioned earlier that Weed woke me up with her phone call from BKK. My heart broke when I heard her voice because I almost couldn't recognize her! Not because that I'm becoming senile but because she's suffering from a very bad sorethroat.

I miss the Weed but I'm not going to whine today because she'll be back in approximately 12 hours. Hugs, kisses, baby and presents here I come!

"Baby, baby, won't you hurry back home."

Eat Carebears

I'm wide awake. -slaps self ten times- I just couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. I'm feeling very miserable. It's the damn cramps, PMS and 897 miles.

So I'm tried to get myself to sleep with a glass of REALLY strong Chivas Green Tea at 0700, reading an absolutely boring book and even closing my eyes for as long as I could and fucking nothing worked.

So I came back online and decided to look through my chat log to find a particular conversation with Weed cause she told me her flight details and I forgot to note them down. Apparently it was a 4 way conversation between Bel the Belly, Bessy the Eagle, Weed and myself. This damn conversation made me miss her even more. Like 10000000000000000 times more.

Weed: Eagle, no need to work ar?
Eagle: im at work la!
Weed: work can online ar?
Eagle: nthing do mah
Me: Work can go online what. I used to be online also. Bel's at work now too. All eat snake!

So the conversation sounds extremely boringly normal until ...

Weed: why cannot eat carebears?
Belly: cos they care, it's mean to eat them
Me: Eat carebears?!
Weed: i wanna have carebears inside my stomach

And you thought it was bad until ...

Me: Which carebear do you have in mind?
Weed: ALL

I'm just not used to it. She's always with me every Saturday and Sunday. Fuck, I need to quit whining. Okay I'm done here.

"It's just tomorrow. TOMORROW FASTER COME PLEASE."

2 days 1 night

Hi baby,
I just came back from some night market.
I feel like i'm being paid to shop for people
and I swear BKK is sex-ist
cos MOST of the stuffs are for FEMALES!!
of which, results in me buying
MANY things for the baby.
I can predict there's more to come thou.
good thing huh? Hah.

Alright,
I'm heading back to the room now
gotta wake up early to attend mass.


Till then,
I'm counting down.


"Though miles apart, my heart's next to yours."

---
*edit: 0622 hours.

Before I start harping on how much I miss my baby (which by the way, if you find incessantly annoying, very good because that means I've gotten my point across to show how much I miss her), Herstory's Femme Quest contestant profiles are out.

And I'm utterly perturbed. Click and go figure. -mock horror-

Okay, I'm a bitch and I know it. A couple are not THAT bad but for the rest, I shall just shut my bloody trap. Thank you very much.

---

Hi Baby! I miss you. -dramatic wailing in typical Drea style- I can't wait for my presents to come back! Haha. Kidding, I can't wait for you to come back and you know I mean it.

The same thing happened. Mr. Bear bear called me and I was promptly informed by Mr. Bear bear that my baby was online and had only 30 minutes. I WAS ELATED! -triple beam- Thank you Mr. Bear bear. I will still call you Mr. Bear bear because I like it and you can't stop me! -sticks tongue out- Haha.

Met Queky on bus 65 and headed to town for dinner. Queky the best friend finally gave me my very belated birthday dinner treat at Cartel and two tank tops that she bought for me when she was in BKK. Thank you Queky! We'll meet up real soon again kay? -hugs- The rest namely, Jon, Bel, Jo and Jie joined us shortly after that and packed into Jon's Land Rover to HRC.

HRC was boring with a capital B. Spent half my time there sulking or making a face which meant "This song reminds me of Spencer". -big sulk-

We've spent every single weekend together since February and this is the first time we're spending it apart, 897 miles apart at that. I feel so empty and lost honestly. The Yong Tau Foo girlies know how bad I'm taking it. ):

My insomnia's gotten from bad to worst after she left, I barely sleep 4 hours a day now. I eat 1 meal a day and spend my days watching tv in bed, acting like a total sloth. I'm like a live walking zombie, major, like totally.

Yes, come June, it'll be 4 months of bickering, crying, screaming, ubber mushy-ness, mad cap trips and sweet love. I know many never thought we'd last so long and with no official "break up" of any sorts and honestly, neither did I. But we're here now and we'll go further. So bite me.

I love you baby and I really miss you. You're going to make up for making me such a miserable bitch for 5 fucking days and no, the presents won't suffice. I want loads of sweet love, tight hugs and baby time when you get back, no bargaining.

2 days; 48 hours; 2, 880 minutes; 172, 800 seconds more to go.

3 days 2 nights

Its o117 in Bangkok now,
and I'm paying 200 baht for half an hr
of access to the internet
which according to my baby drea,
is daylight robbery.HA
but I willing to be robbed cos
I miss my baby so MUCH
that I have to come online and talk to her
cos my hp bill is exploding. =/

Anyway,
I have to do some whining here
cos the weather's fucking HOT!
And I have to walk thousands of streets and shops
I'm having a hard time thinking
what to buy for people on my list
People who recieves gifts from me please APPRECIATE ah.
As for the baby, I bought a few stuffs already.
so DON'T WORRY! Haha.

My dear baby,
you be good and take care of yourself
when i'm not around k?

I have to go now.
Thank you for the letters and gurdian angel
I'll be looking forward to opening the last letter
cos that's when I'll be back in your arms.


PS: I'm sorry to make you miss me so damn mother fucking much

"I miss and I'm missing you as much too."

---
*edit: 0536 hours.

That was the baby from 897 miles away above. ((((((((((:

My cell rang at around 0220 when I was comforting myself with Channel 5's Desperate Housewives's Slumber Party and it was an unknown number. I picked up and the girl at the other end asked if I was Andrea. So I said yes and asked who it was. Her reply was "Spencer asked me to call you and tell you to go online because she's online now.". I was in such shock and ectasy that I don't even remember saying Thank You to that dear girl. Bay, please thank her for me.

So I turned on my desktop and modem in like record time and logged right straight into MSN, clicked on her right away and said:

// `right back in your arms *drea says:
BABY!

// `right back in your arms *drea says:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ONLINE?

// `right back in your arms *drea says:
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE MISSED YOU?!

// `right back in your arms *drea says:
OMG.

// `right back in your arms *drea says:
BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Okay, I reckon you guys get the gist already. Haha.

Anyway, life hasn't been good because I am bloody sick. Been down with a bad flu which includes a full blown fever. Bahh. But I'm much better now and I seriously think it's love sickness. Lol.

So I spent Friday night at home, watching the telly, tweaking my resume and taking cat naps. Later I will go out, I need to get out of this house and I need a proper job.

Anyway bay, Jo said:

i am a gajah hear my rarwr.. says:
fuck la her post in ur blog is so sweet lor

And I was telling her:

// `right back in your arms *drea says:
Don't know whether to hug her and tell her she's so damn cute or scream at her for being a moron.

Right now, I wish I could really do either because I can't. I want to sprout wings like Angel in X-Men III or strike lottery right now. )):

I MISS MY BABY LIKE MANY MANY!

*Many many equates to a lot. I'm just trying to act cute so I assure you that I do not speak or write like that. I can see Jie cringing at the sight of many many. LOL.

Strike Five; Cry Baby

Sometimes even when you know the truth, you pretend that you don't because that way, life's a little easier to go through. Let's just say, I'm not stupid but stupid enough to lie to myself. Conclusion, I am stupid.

---

It's been a long day.

Stayed up all night doing something for the bay then headed for her place late morning for some sweet cuddling and love. Sneaking forty winks (literally less than an hour's of sleep) in between. (:

Had a small tiff because she didn't want me to send her to the airport but we both had our good intentions, so all was fine. She didn't want me to go cause she knew that I'd break down and I was going to be alone. I wanted to go because I wouldn't get to see her for five fucking days and every single second with her counted. The cry baby surfaced in me, strike one.

In an attempt to cheer me up, she treated me to Popeye's once we got to the airport. Walked around with my hand in hers, pushing the trolley, engulfed in the make believe we made up (read: packing me in her luggage, going for a holiday together etc.).

Then the cold hard truth had to hit me, it was time to say goodbye. I mustered all my strength and told myself to not cry but the cry baby surfaced once again, strike two. After watching her go through customs and waving the last goodbye, it was time to leave, or so I thought.

I walked outside for a breather of fresh air cause I felt like I was suffocating. I think I was close to suffering an anxiety attack. Then I broke down like she predicted. Cry baby, strike three.

Finally got a grip of myself and walked to the bus interchange and took a bus home. Then she called and said that she was boarding the plane. Cry baby, strike four.

She just texted saying that she's safely in Bangkok now. Cry baby, strike five.

Oh my mother fucking fuck. I need to stop crying. It's not like she's gone for good. She'll be right back in 4 damn days. Why can't I stop crying please. -slaps self ten times- I just told Zen that I've concluded that I'm mad. Zen says that I'm madly in love with her. |:

Oh God, Santana feat Joss Stone's Cry Baby Cry is on Power 98 right now. I NEED TO BUY LOTTERY!

It's just been a long day with the lack of sleep and emotional rollercoaster rides I reckon.

I miss her despite seeing her less than 5 hours ago. )': It's the miles apart thing doing this to me. Damn.

---

On a random and lame note, GSS (Great Singapore Sale) is here! I concluded proudly to Queky on MSN that it means that it's time to Go Siao Shopping.

Am I funny or what? Hah. Okay, another failed attempt to cheer myself up. Bahh.

"I hate you for making me miss you so damn mother fucking much."

Story Of A Girl

The bay's leaving in approximately 12 hours.

Upside:
She's all hyped up about the trip.
She'll get to shop till she drops.
She'll have all so much fun.
I'll be getting presents.

Downside:
She's down with the flu.
I won't get to hear, see or feel her for 5 full days.

But I'm good. I'll be good. -smiles-

She once mentioned that 3 Doors Down's Story of a Girl is just so apt for me.

"This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles"

Go figure. I'll be that girl when she leaves. It's just 5 days, and it'll pass real fast. Right?

Till then,

Spell with Flickr

Too Damn Soon

Mustafa-ed, Chinatown-ed and Bugis-ed with the Weed today. Did the last minute errands she needed to do before leaving for BKK. Bought her luggage (I think it's quite nice because I chose it), daily essentials and changed her currency.

My bay-bee's leaving in another 24 hours. That is too damn soon honestly. -sulks-

Thursday, I'll prolly head back home after sending her off at the airport. Friday and Saturday, I'll be meeting Queky the "long lost" best friend" and the rest of the Yong Tau Foo girlies. Sunday, I'll stay home and be a good girl. Before I know it, she'll be right back bickering with me on Monday afternoon.

I'm sick of bumming around with nothing to do and absolutely no income so while she's gone, I've promised to be sending in my resume to any potential employers, so that's what I'll be filling up my afternoons with.

The stupid Weed lied to me earlier resulting in me crying. She told me that she didn't activate her auto roaming and wasn't intending to. The thought of no contact for 120 hours brought tears to my eyes immediately, being the cry baby I am, I cried. |: How was I supposed to know that the bastard was lying right?! -sulks- And despite seeing her about 6 hours ago, I already miss her.

How am I going to get through 120 hours, 892 miles apart from her? )':

"And I miss you I miss you like crazy baby
Only your sweet love can save me
I miss you like crazy
A love like ours will never end
Just touch me and we're there again
Miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy."

Just The Two Of Us

The weekend was spent with the Weed and the Weed alone. ((:

First was to her new crib to help out with some cleaning up. She's going to be so near to my old Hougang place (like 15 minutes bus ride near) but I've moved from Hougang to Bedok Reservoir for almost 3 years already. |:

Then headed down town for dinner and some window shopping. We wanted to club but the Yong Tau Foo girlies weren't clubbing but we ended up clubbing anyhow, just the two of us. Hah. It's strange how we always end up clubbing with only each other for company, but all was good. ((:

Headed down to Zouk to "punch our cards" and run some errands then we walked over to Cocco Latte for Gemma's party. Privilege card and guest list, I love! Headed back around 0200 because we were both tired.

For the first time, we both slept for 12 hours straight and the Weed only woke me up once and when I told her to go back to sleep, she went back to sleep!

She's going to be headed to the land of smiles in 3 days. Why is everyone going to BKK?! Queky just returned from 1 full month there, Zen's there at the moment coming back on Friday (Tau Pok, we're here at your mercy, just give me a call if you miss me. HAHA) and now the lil' one's going over on Thursday for 5 damn fucking long days! )): I want to go too!

It's going to be 5 days = 120 hours = 7, 200 minutes = 432, 000 seconds of no one to bicker with me and no one to smile at me even when we're quarrelling. -mumbles-

I'm shall look on the bright side, at least she'll be happily shopping and I'll be happily waiting for my presents to come back to me!

But I'd give anything to have her by my side, even if that means no presents.

"Just the two of us, building castles in the sky.
Just the two of us, you and I."

ILU

Clicking the dial button repeatedly since 0300 hours. Ring ring ring the phone goes, drip drip drip my tears drop.

I don't get why you don't believe that you're the one I love the most. That I've done nothing alike for the rest like I've done for you. That I'll do anything for you, everything.

Why can't you see that I really just love you. Do I have to really prove it the hard way? Don't make me do it please. Just believe in me, like I believe in you.

I love you. I really do. Sometimes, I think I love you too much but I continue loving you anyway.

The irony? You're not even my girlfriend.

---

I know what's my one wish that I'd like you to grant. Then again, maybe you'll never find out.

"Make a wish upon a star."

Notice

No prose filled with my deepest emotions today. I just want to say,

I AM NOT OKAY BUT I DON'T CARE FOR ANYONE'S CONCERN. LEAVE ME FUCKING ALONE. I'D APPRECIATE IT DEEPLY. AND I MEAN IT.

Thank you very much and thank whoever who invented flu pills. Just pop half a dozen and I'll be knocked out. I'm feeling the effects already.

GREAT. Fort Minor's Where'd you go just has to play on Power 98 as I type this. I should consider buying lottery.

"I am nothing but an empty vessel"

Ghouls In The Attic

Oversensitivity and paranoia runs in my veins. Till thus now, it has proved to be nothing in vain. Uncovering every deep dark dirty little secret you've tried to keep, I lose a lil of myself. Sometimes I wish the truth would never surface, secrets buried with you in your grave. But I would never be appeased in my death, knowing that truth would be mocking me in your grave. Mock me for my stupidity and foolishness. It beats being mocked by the truth six feet underground.

Though the past haunts me like a ghoul in the attic, it's the present that matters. Or is it?

---

I'm okay or so I think. I'm just a lil shaken. But I'll be fine, I'll always be fine till the day I lose it all over again.

And the next person who ask if Weed and I are okay will be shot to death. We are very fine, thankyouverymuch. Not everything on my blog is about her you know, well, almost.

Fort Minor's Where'd You Go makes me cry.

Fucking bullshit, fuck fuck fuck.

"When I wake up, would you still be there?"

Sweet Addiction

The long weekend was well spent with my Yong Tau Foo girlies and most importantly, the baby. ((:

Zouk-ed on Thursday and Friday. HRC-ed on Saturday. Chinatown-ed on Sunday. Whipped up dinner for the baby yesterday (Monday).

Baby and myself headed to Suzanne's for a hair cut on Saturday. All I can say now is that my hair is SO SHORT till I can't tie it anymore. )): Okay, it's not THAT short (shoulder length) but I miss my long hair please. Some commented that I look younger (I seriously do not need to look younger), I look like a minah (I will fucking slap the next person who says that) but mostly that it's nice BUT since the baby says it's nice, then it's nice (I'm in denial).

I love the big, too skinny like a monkey, seaweed tofu, sweetums, sexay chocolate dipped, candy coated, kiddo, Spencer Tan, baby.

And this is why I love her so.

Picture courtesy of Jojo who took it at Forum Macs when the baby was well, drunk. I know, ain't she adorable. (((:

"You're like a drug that I'm addicted to and I have no intentions of going cold turkey."

Stranger Things Have Happened

A strange turn of events, left questions unanswered. Emotionally drained, the facade never stronger. Running away from reality, pretentiousness is a forte of mine.

Coincidences lead to a socially mis-fitted gathering. Telling me what a fool I am, for the hundredth millionth time. The pieces of advice flitted around my mind, then like a leaf, I let it go and stood my ground.

Tears flowed, emotions befuddled but all was good, like it has always been. But what happens when the end comes? I don't know really and I'm not the least prepared for the raging war inside threatening to massacre every part of me.

I don't know what's to come in the future or what will be of me and you. I love you. I need you. That's all I know and that's all you need to know. Do you see it, I wonder. Maybe I do know the answer but after all, Miss Abnegation lives up to her name.

---

Thank you Jie for allowing me to camp over at your place every so often. I totally agree with the idea of you getting me a set of your house keys too. I know you're tired of hearing the same old story from me and I thank you with all my heart for always being so patient and using every ounce of love to resist slapping me. I owe you one, okay maybe more than one. -hugsjietight- Yes I will bring you shopping soon, I remember okay? Haha.

On a very random note, Weed has a new Agnes B money clip cum key chain. Phwoar, Agnes B leh. On a not so random note, my pocket has a hole now. Coincidence perhaps? Hah.

"How much I love you could kill you, really."

Strike One

A cloudy morning, set out with the intentions of sweetness. A night's lack of sleep, all for the vision of happiness. Paths crossed, saccharine emotions exchanged. Blurry eyed, butterflies fluttered with the rumble of hunger.

Paranoia or rather instinct, revealed the buried truth. Anger and disappoinment played their pivotal role, leaving emotions at complete loss. Tempers flared, emotions strung high, resentment turned into hatred.

V is for vengeance. And there are some things that will never change, never.

Exhausted like always, with emotions constantly running all over the place, what else can one expect? But when the day numbness is all you feel, do you succumb or do you perserve?

I perserved, like the loved ones predicted and the enemies miscalculated. I've live a life, trying to prove something to everyone. Then an epiphany hits me, the only person I have to prove to is myself.

I'll leave the eyes of suspicion, take the leap of faith and trust like I last did 8 months ago. The last left me jaded and nerved, empty promises and betrayal. I never thought I'd love like before and ironically I was spot-on. I've never loved like this, to the point of what some call insanity.

The heart has hardened once again but still foolishly trapped in confusion. At least if I fall, I'd survive the fall, or so I think. All because the saying goes, "All is calm before a thunderstorm". Strike one, strike two, strike three, gone. Or will there be a strike four, five, six and so on? The future remains untold.

In the meantime, the masquerade continues. Everyone, put your masks back on.

"Everything needs to be read between the lines, everything."

Sick Cycle Carousel

This weekend is going to be boring, at least I'm predicting it to be.

Met Bessy and Jie at Settlers Cafe after work, Zen and Weed joined us a little later. Yes, I am proud to say that we did not club but I am upset because we gave Paul Oakenfold a miss. -stabs self ten times-

We played:

• A Dog's Life (totally boring),
  
• Management Material (ridiculous but fun card game where you have to prevent yourself from getting promoted at work)
  
• Hallie Hilly or Hilly Hallie or whatever it was called (a violent game of snap where the chances of hurting yourself when you hit the bell are extremely high)
  
• Taboo (I don't have to explain this game do I?)
  
• Jenga (it was the longest Jenga game any one of us has ever played)
  
• Pit! (this was the best game we played, we're all sorta suffering from minor sorethroats from all the screaming and I laughed so hard till I cried and smudged my mascara).

Left at 0130 and walked to Maxwell Market for supper then walked to Momo but decided not to go in and then walked back to Chinatown and then we decided that there was nothing else to do. Basically, we walked and walked and walked and walked and walked for almost 3 hours. -.-

That was how exciting my Friday night was. Nevertheless, I had fun ruining my mascara with my girls at Settlers. Hah. ((:

Tomorrow's been left unplanned, the only plan is that we're not clubbing or at least I think so. Grandma's birthday cum Mother's day dinner celebrations with the extended family. I am so dreading it.

With all honesty, I don't even feel like going out, I just want to stay home with my novels. I've begun to pick up with my reading again and it's both a good thing and bad thing. Good thing because I've stopped reading for quite awhile, bad thing because it just means that I have too much time on my hands and also that I only turn to my books when I'm upset and insomniac.

I'm losing grip.

It's a damn sick cycle carousel and I'm mentally and physically drained of trying to juggle my time. Everything I do just seems so damn wrong. I don't know what to do or say anymore. I'm almost this close to giving up but I won't because I know, this is something worth everything I am, everything.

My brain's calling out for a fag (I only smoke when I club now) and some good alcohol. Say hello to gloomy days ahead.

I haven't been sleeping much nor eating much the past few days because I just can't. Pills have become like some diet supplement. Because of the lack of sleep and my stomach pains, I pop pontans. Because of my inability to sleep, I pop flu tablets. My new motto in life should be "Just keep 'em popping". Time to pop the flu tablets and wake up in tears a few hours later.

"And I feel those tears once again"

This Is How A Heart Aches

I haven't felt so lousy in awhile. Okay, maybe I have but this time it was just a little too much to take. Mood's lousy, health's lousy, work was lousy, everything's lousy. Bottom line, Andrea's lousy.

My stomach was giving me the run for my money during work. Sharp pains as and when it felt that I wasn't having a bad day as it was already, demanding to be cleared of it contents (or whatever it wanted to clear since I barely ate) every now and then. I just want to rip my stomach and womb out and throw it away. Yes, I'm getting the occasional cramps as well. |:

Coupled with my lousy mood, work was just blearugh, like major. I attempted to take my mind off certain issues by keeping myself busy but it didn't work. I was just too damn distracted. My colleagues had to repeat themselves at least twice when they told me something until my manager strangled me and asked me what was wrong. At that moment, I was wishing he'd tightened his grip and strangle me to death, really.

And when I had totally nothing to do, I just stood and stoned into thin air. Listening to the bloody emo love songs the band were playing and feeling even lousier. I whined, complained and even snapped at some of my colleagues. I even rejected free food. Yes, I WAS FEELING THAT FUCKED UP.

Okay, I think 3 paragraphs of explanation is enough to let everyone see the point already.

I'm sure all of us, at one point or another has felt their heart ache, literally that is. I don't know how you describe that feeling but your heart just aches like your muscles (yes I do know that our hearts are made up of muscles). I don't mean anything along the medical conditions like heart burn or what not but a heart ache derived from disappoinment and sadness.

My heart ached so bad that I was on the verge of tears but I held them back as much as I could or my colleagues would start shooting questions. My heart still aches, I feel the emotional strings tugging harder and harder, determined to make my tears fall. But I won't cry, I haven't and I will not.

Am I really that horrible? Am I really that lousy? I know I'm not perfect but do I really have more flaws than regular people have? If the answers to all those questions are no, then why is it that I just can't seem to get anything right? Will someone tell me?

I've never felt so helpless for a long time. I feel like I'm slipping silently into the abyss of depression once again.

I could really do with a shot of Absinthe right now. No, make it 3 shots of Bacardi 151 since Absinthe isn't available in Singapore. (Bacardi 151 has 75% alcohol, so don't even think about Absinthe)

I need my happy pill. I miss my happy pill.

"Even if the world goes against me,
I'll be right here with you.
That's why, I'm saving all my love for you."

The Best Deceptions

Love, lies, sex and betrayal. These four are as different as night and day, yet there's a strike of similarity like peas in a pod.

It is utterly disgusting how some people can be so damn hypocritical. It irks me that there are such creatures (human is too good a word for them) living and breathing right next to us in our every day lives.

How do you love and fuck someone when all you get in return are lies and betrayal? How do you love and trust a friend when all you get in return are lies and betrayal? Yet again, it's one of those things that will go unanswered forever.

Ultimately, I pity the ones who are ignorant. Oblivious to the fact that the one they love, trust and protect with all the dignity they have as a friend or lover, is probably going to stab them right back at the end of everything.

Aren't we all victims of the game of love?

For now, I really pity you. Oh yes, I'm referring to you. Guess who? -smiles slyly to those who know who I'm referring to-

---

I think I've transformed into some horrible shopaholic and it's all thanks to the Weed. The week is only half over and she's got a Rip Curl long sleeved shirt and a pair of FCUK jeans and I've got a pair of Abercrombie jeans. Last week, I bought a red and white striped Zara bare backed top and Weed bought a Topman Polo. Like Oh My God, slap ourselves ten times.

Pay day's next week which will only mean, more shopping! -.- I need to exert some discipline.

I got to hug, feel, cuddle, kiss, hold, -insert everything mushy and disgusting- my choco baby earlier. We weren't supposed to meet until Friday night because we are both very busy and -ahem- important people BUT miracles do happen, especially with the ones you love. ((:

"Everytime I breathe, I take you in."

I Heart Zouk

It's May Day, in the Singaporean's context, Labour Day so it equates a public holiday which equates to clubbing on the eve (for me at least). Actually it was clubbing the whole damn weekend. Hur.

Friday - Weekly Char Kway Teow and Heineken opposite Zouk and then, We Love House with DjB & Flava with Andrew Chow @ Zouk with the Yong Tau Foo girlies.

Saturday - Hard Rock Cafe. Got high because ALL the Yong Tau Foo girlies (Except Seaweed and myself. Knn.) got their damn progress package -sour grapes- so Jo and Jie bought me a round of drink each and plus the drinks were lethal as usual.

Weed got well, let's just say she couldn't remember what embarrassing things she did which amused Jo SO MUCH. Psst Jo, send me that picture soon! -sticks tongue out at Weed-

Sunday - Dinner with godmum, godpa, EXTREMELY ADORABLE half Japanese god siblings, lil brat, mummy, mummy's boyfriend and Weed at Newton Circus.

I swear mummy and lil brat loves Weed more than they love me. Everything is Weed, weed, weed. What happened to blood is thicker than water?! -sulks- And I'm saying this with evidence. BUT it's okay. They love Weed because I love Weed as well.

Bounce with Andrew Chow and DJ Nervous @ Zouk with Bessy, Jo, Jie and Weed but it was the usual Heineken (no Char Kway Teow this time) session first.

Say HELLO to our Zouk Privilege Card and goodbye to invites. As such, the Yong Tau Foo girlies are such regulars at Zouk already. Now that we can all sign ourselves in and not worry about cover charge, I think we'll become permanent fixtures.

I really really <3 Zouk. LOL.

I AM A VERY HAPPY GIRL. ((:

"Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"