Morality

Previously everything in life was pretty much fine and dandy, then in my usual "have to create some drama and fuck my own life up" style, I created drama and fucked my own life up.

Since ending Saturday night in a complete emotional break down crying wailing right outside Zouk, it's been going downhill ever since. And no, I was not drunk, I was perfectly sober although the extremely incriminating picture on Facebook makes it seem like I was, I wasn't. I was merely bending down to fix my heels. -growls at Zen and Jo-

Jo and Silly, I finally know how shit fucked up you guys felt when you were put in the position of having to choose between doing what you felt was right and doing what was morally wrong.

Yes I know, my morals in the first place aren't exactly saint like. For one, I'm lesbian. Completely against the law of nature and yada yada, what have you.

I've been going around the house the past few days in a daze. In fact, I didn't even dare to come online. It completely doesn't help that I do not have access to WoW. To me, WoW's an escape to reality and yes, I'm a neurotic closet nerd cum hermit who goes to the library weekly and play World of Warcraft, so fuck you if you don't like it. Oh yes, depression coupled with impending PMS (Am drinking Coke for breakfast, go figure).

Sleeping hours completely fucked upside down, back to square one situation. Which explains this entry at this hour, yes I haven't slept. When I do sleep, I fall into the strangest dreams, waking up abruptly 4-6 hours later, feeling the guilt and regret.

It's always too late to regret. Apologies at this point of time, are completely useless as well. I'm in a complete state of loss.

I have had my fair share of betrayal, lies and hurt for a lifetime. And I am sick of it. To me, honesty has always been the best policy but truth is, the truth hurts. It hurts so damn fucking badly. And sometimes, people just don't want to hear the truth.

All I can say now is, I'm sorry, I really am. I just hope that the past 6 years of friendship, will not go down to the drain like that. I know, I deserve it, but, you're one person, I don't want to lose. I admit, it was not my place to say or do anything and it's my fault. I don't blame you for being upset with me. I just truly hope, you see that, I did what I did because I love you. As cliche as it sounds, I wanted the best for you. It wasn't the best way to show my love for you nor was it my place to get invovled. Maybe one day, you'll forgive me, maybe you won't, I don't know, but for now, I'm sorry and I love you.

Lesson of the day: Learn when to shut your damn bloody mouth.

`Spinning: Jack Rokka VS Betty Boo - Take Off

Swine Flu Turns Left 4 Dead

Firstly, this entry is not exactly about Left 4 Dead. For those who do not know what Left 4 Dead is, it's pretty much exactly the same as Counter Strike AKA CS except that it's humans against zombies. If you still don't know what CS is, I suggest you go buy Gaming for Dummies or you just had no childhood what so ever.

Now Swine Flu, oh yes, we've heard so much about it and to be honest, as a Singaporean, we tend to be a teensy bit overconfident. At least I'm not exactly worried about the flu reaching us yet and I don't see anyone wearing masks all over the place except for the tourists.

But someone showed me a piece of really freaky news.

"Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.” "

Bahh. Zombies. A little too much for me even though I face them on almost a daily basis on WoW. But that's WoW, this is real life! -faints-

If you doubt my piece of news, check the link yourself. Would BBC write something so absurd?

I guess we could pray and wish hard that if zombies could exist, that vampires like Edward Cullen exist, and "Werewolves" like Jacob could too.Then Warlocks, Shamans, Mages, Warriors, Priests, Death Knights, Hunters, Paladins, Druids and Rogues (Yes I listed all the classes in WoW)may be possible even.

Hmmmm.

And yes, Happy 16th Monthsary my Silly. I love you very much and stop being such a poop ass okay? Hurhur. Or I will...DOT you to death. HAHAHA. I'm sorry Bei, I couldn't resist. At least I never silence you with Arcane Torrent. BWAHAHAHA. I know pretty much at this point, you have no idea whether to laugh or cry, but remember, THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE ME! -beams-

`Spinning: Nick Bliss - I Kissed A Girl

The Reclusive

It's been a long and quiet Labour's Day weekend. Ah Bay & Mummy has gone off to the Land of the Rising Sun AKA Japan, Nagoya more specifically to visit my Godma. So I'm stuck at home for the rest of the week because the extremely heavy duty of taking care of Lolly has fallen on me.

No, I'm not complaining. Doesn't bother me much honestly. Even when everyone is around, I'm home literally 5 days a week. It's like a full time job itself. Haha. Which brings me to something.

Some people actually find me weird. Weird in the sense that I can actually stay home 7 days a week for an entire month (Last known record). Silly even used the word "Reclusive" on me. Honestly, am I the only weird one who loves the idea of being a hermit? -shrugs-

Shan't explain myself because I don't see a need to or why I should because I don't care what people think. Love me or hate me, your choice, your life, not mine.

PS. Silly, The Reclusive reminds me of a quest at Dragonblight "The Reclusive Runemaster". You remember? ROFL. And, I do enjoy being a hermit, with you of course. (:

`Spinning: Lys - Speechless