Friday, September 30, 2005

Clarity

And its Friday again. -beams and hops around- I love Fridays. They signify the end of the week and the start of a new week. Next week onwards, it is just 4 more weeks of internship! -double beam-

I was this close to screwing up again. So close. I would like to thank the gf for freaking me out. Scary and a lil traumatizing wake up call but it worked. I remember the promises. (:

Been helping out with the invitation list for the corporate dinner. The next time when you receive an invitation (whether through snail mail or e-mail), please have the decency to R.S.V.P when you have been requested to do so. The people who organise such stuff go through hell to get your contacts to send you the mails. The least you could do is reply!

Anyway, half of the department is out for location recee thus I'm able to blog leisurely and relax for a bit before they come back and the madness starts all over again.

Bali, Macau, Dubai. Yours truly is staying in Singapore. Oh well. Doesn't matter, does it?

"The unspoken pride"

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Like A Blade You Stain

My head hurts.
I hate you.

"So long not goodnight"
Batam

Okay, finally getting down to blogging about the trip.

Saturday, 24th September 2005:
Classroom session ended surprisingly early. So as per the gf's instructions, I took a bus to her place and met up with her there.

Cabbed to Habourfront Ferry Terminal, went through Singapore customs blah blah. The ferry ride was kinda nauseating I reckon cause it was all stuffy and warm. Finally reached Batam after 45 minutes, went through customs blah blah again.

When we first reached the terminal, the gf commented that it looked like Marina South. HAHA. Cracked some crazy jokes about being back in Singapore after one ferry trip nonsense then the gf suddenly pulled me away from the dustbin (was standing next to it smoking) because apparently a local decided to park right behind my bag. Call us paranoid but I think its better to be paranoid sometimes. Got up the mini van with other fellow Singaporeans/Tourists and in less than 3 minutes we were at the resort. -.-

The resort was pretty good. Small and cosy yet not dingy looking. Checked into our SMOKING room. HAHA. Lounged about, explored the tv channels and went downstairs to look for food (It was already 3pm Singapore time and we both had nothing yet) and explore more.

Both ordered pasta which was too huge a portion for either of us to finish. The gf was pretty disappointed that the hotel did not offer any sort of local food, she want to try the local delicacies pretty badly. Went for a swim after that, collected our complimentary pizza, bought REALLY CHEAP ciggarettes and went back to sloth in our room.

After much slothing, we decided to continue exploring. Played billard, walked around the whole resort and heard music but when we approached it they were playing those what do you call it again? traditional malay music thingy so we went back to our room instead. I reckon both of us were pretty tired so we just sat at the balcony smoking and talking about stuff.

Sunday, 25th September 2005:
Comatosed about 2 or 3 am Singapore time (I keep getting confused with the 1 hour difference) woke up bright and early the next morning. Small hoo haa with the gf, after which went down for our complimentary breakfast. As usual, ugly Singaporeans always have to prove how ugly they are. Can't be bothered to even blog about them. Just disgustingly ugly.

10.30 Batam time, met our tour guide for the city tour. Started off pretty well, went to some bridge which apparently is a landmark of Batam. Took pretty nice pictures of the view blah. Things pretty much took a turn for the worst after that.

You see, I was like a suicide bomber. Digging my own grave and then jumping into it. I was in my pretty Guess hot shorts and apparently people there either never saw a pretty girl or never saw shorts in their lives. Was visually raped a gazillion times.

Went to this Mega Mall place. Apparently for the richer Batam people and boy can you see the difference. 90% of the housing there were illegal. Small huts, squatters, dirty looking children running around barefooted but laughing. My heart ached. The the huge mansions built on the hills. Vast difference.

There were even more dingy looking locals there. So much so we got fed up and parked ourselves at A&W and ate curly fries and drank rootbeer (deprived of A&W in Singapore). Finally it was time to go back to Singapore! Man have I never been more excited when I hear the word Singapore!

When we got back to Singapore land, I never felt more safe and normal. Given that most girls were decked out in shorts, tank tops and no one gave a damn.

There is only one word to describe how I felt during the city tour : Traumatised.

P.S: This is a pretty brief entry. Read the gf's for a more detailed account.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Not so good Sunday.

The Batam trip was fun for the first day. The second day was just bad from 1030 onwards. Shall blog proper about the details in my next entry.

Firstly, a big thank you to the gf for the trip. Glad I had you by my side or I would just have broken down from the trauma I suffered. We will go again minus the damn city tour. I love you Bobby much!

Pretty tired actually but I just had to blog. Came home showered and sat down to talk with my mum for awhile.

Ryl helped me to ballot for the Overseas Educational Trip to Bali cause I was unable to do so (I was in Batam remember?). Opted for Bali cause I do not have money at all to go to Bali even so just gave it a shot since it was the cheapest.

Then my mum said to go to Macau. She'll settle the money part. Honestly I was so touched. I feel really bad about going even. So considering about staying back in Singapore instead of going.

I'm so upset with this Overseas Trip that I want to start a petition for those who can't afford to go and still have to fork out money just to go. Fucking no subsidy what so ever. Since those can't afford, it also means we have used up our Edusave for school fees. So we can't even use Edusave. This trip is seriously fucked up.

Then my mum broke some news to me about my dad. Yes my parents have been divorced since I was 11 or 12 and I have not seen my dad ever since. No contact what so ever.

Apparently, she met some old family friend today and they told her that he now has a son. Apparently the boy is about 7/8 years old. Meaning, that fucked up mistress of his either got pregnant when my parents were filing for divorce or even before that. Seriously, I just want to kill all three of them.

Number 1, you beat up my mother.
Number 2, I am in this financial dire because of you.
Number 3, you never bothered to contact your own daughters.
Number 4, you lie to others that my mum prevents us from seeing you.
Number 5, where the fuck is the alimony, you have not contributed a fucking single cent ever since.
Number 6, you cheated my mum, hurt her both physically and emotionally, fuck some woman and drop your own family.

FUCKING SON OF A BITCH AND BASTARD ASSHOLE. KNNBCCBKL.

I just can't take this anymore. I just want to sleep. You are so not my father.

Anyone sharing my sentiments about the trip? Let me know and I will bloody start the petition.

"You deserve to go to hell and die"

Friday, September 23, 2005

Kissing A Fool


Dear Angel Number 3; Chy,

Happy Belated 19th Birthday darling girl.
Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday, hope you had fun anyhow. It's been a blast
knowing this blur klutz. Hopefully we'll be in the same class next semester.
Can't wait to see you this Saturday together with Angel Number 1; Ryl.

Much Love,
Angel Number 2; Drea.

---

1 hour to the end of work. 20 hours till I leave this red-speckled dot. -holiday mood- Once I check through the database I'm assigned to, I am done with all my work! -skips around the office-

Been helping to verify the company's corporate dinner guest list details. Phone calls and more phone calls. Calling China was disappointing. It made me realise how terrible my command of Mandarin is. I could vaguely make out what the other party was saying but when I had to write it down, I was at a total loss. Thankfully, my colleague saw my distress and helped me out.

Church and dinner after work with the gf and then I have to head home to pack for tomorrow and most importantly I need my beauty sleep. Was rushing my e-Journal 4 last night (or rather this morning) till 0200 hours. At least I have submitted it and I would be able to enjoy Batam fully without worrying about anything else.

Till I'm back from Batam~! ((:

"Covered me with kisses and lies."

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Random Blabber

Yes, it's 0145 hours and I am still up. Almost 2 hours past my bedtime. Since when was my bedtime even 1200. Sheesh. I'm seriously morphing into some office aunty (When you bump into me on one of my those 'Cannot be bothered to dress' days, you'll see Aunty Andrea).

I'm mentally and physically drained out but I just can't seem to sleep. Problem lies with not knowing what the problem really is. You get the gist. It's just one of those crabby days I reckon. -mumble grumble-

Seen my pretty web bands on the top right hand corner yet? No? Look now. Pretty huh? -starts babbling to self- Okay, I think I'm feeling a lil mad at the moment so just bear with this.

I can't wait for Saturday. It's going to be a very exciting Saturday. Firstly, I'll get to see my girls! Chy, Ryl and Marilyn! -prances around- Secondly, I get to see everyone else. -prances around again. Then, it's to Batam for a weekend getaway with the gf! - prances around yet again-

I have a confession to make. I hate work. I know I'm not supposed to be complaining but I really hate work. Really really hate work. Sai kang and more sai kang. I really dread work. I'm just tahan-ing.

I think no one really knows how much I am trying to tell myself to not screw up again because I'm close to a mental breakdown. Although I'm just doing shit work, the stress of this internship is really getting to me. 6 more weeks to go. 5 for everyone else but an extra week for screwing up.

You know what. Just fuck it.

"Beneath the masquerade mask"

Monday, September 19, 2005

Mahjong Madness

It has been quite an eventful weekend. Let's do a brief re-cap.

Friday, 16th September:
- Went home for Tom Yam dinner.
- Left for the gf's place at around 2145.
- Watched 'Survivor' with the gf and brother.
- Played 'Scrabble' with the gf and lost to her again.

Saturday, 17th September:
- Woke up bright and early and headed to ICA to update my ancient passport photo.
- Had lunch around the area and bought lanterns.
- Went back to the gf's and sloth around.
- Met Jen and Stacy then headed to Holy Trinity for evening mass.
- Dinner at Century Square's Food Junction.
- Went over to Stacy's place.
- Put mahjong, Chivas Regal, white wine and 4 people, you get 4 giggly girls (Okay, maybe I was the only giggly one) heading to Hard Rock Cafe.
- Left Hard Rock Cafe around 0230 and had Ba Kut Teh at Balestier.
- Reached the gf's place around 0400 and we both comatosed.

Sunday, 18th September:
- Woke up to have brunch with the gf before her Practical 7.
- The gf decided not to go for her practical after not being able to get a cab.
- Went back to the gf's and took a short nap.
- Headed to Stacy's again for mahjong.
- Stopped playing around 2100 and went downstairs to play with lanterns and candles.
- Left around 2300 and went to Hougang Avenue 3 for Ba Chor Mee.
- By 0130, I comatosed on my bed.

I am so tired. Plus, I'm addicted to mahjong. Hands itchy please. All is good though, because we have already made plans for mahjong session again the following weekend.

This week is going to be such a busy week for me. Shall do up a list here.
- Finish up e-Journal 4.
- Clean my room.
- E-mail Holy Trinity's Secretariat with regards to RCIY or RCIA (Yes I want to be a Catholic.).
- Pack for Batam Trip.
- Consultancy Project Management briefing at 0915, Saturday 24th September.
- Overseas educational trip briefing at 1000, Saturday 24th September.
- Classroom Session II, Saturday 24th September.
- Be at Habourfront Centre at 1320 when classroom session ends at 1300 (Anyone has an airplane to lend?).

"Dreamlover come rescue me"

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Blogsphere

Blog, blogger, blogging. Today, these words have become so common that one sees them almost on a daily basis; either on the newspapers, internet, magazines. A couple of days ago, 2 Singaporeans got sued for making racists comments on their blogs (first case of its kind in the world). Is blogging here to stay like how sms is a part of almost everyone's lives or is it just a passing fad like bubble tea and luohan fishes?

The "art" of blogging was introduced to me by Tannia in 2003. I vaguely remember telling her at first that "Blogging is such a waste of time" but in the end, I gave it a try and now, I'm addicted.

Some people I know, find it a chore having to constantly update their blogs. While some just hate the idea of others reading about their lives or vice-versa.

But hey, blogging has diversified so much in a short time. We have political blogs, technology blogs, gossip blogs etc. Even the Cat Welfare Society of Singapore has a blog. Just about a month back, a group of girls who call themselves "Dolls Gone Wild" set up a blog to expose prowling men asking for sexual services on the IRC. Then there is Post Secret, where you can send in postcards with your deepest, darkest secrets and reveal them to the world while remaining anonymous.

Online communities like Tomorrow.Sg have been formed, giving local bloggers a platform to share interesting weblogs, comments, views and whatever they find interesting. Of course everything submitted is moderated by "celeb" bloggers like Xiaxue, Mr Brown, Miyagi etc.

I personally used to like reading Xiaxue's entries. They were blatant in a witty and humourous way. Now it is just some what boring and crude at times. She could have been sued as well for defaming our neighbouring country. I reckon the 2 guys were just plain 'suey' considering that there are many others who have probably spewed racist comments.

Soon there might be blogging "laws" given that the Singapore gahmen likes to be first in everything. So much for being able to write whatever you want because "This is my blog, screw off if you do not like what you are reading".

Then again, there are always anonymous cowards spamming nonsense when they don't like what they see. Seriously, they need to get a life, grow up and learn not to read what they don't like. Why get yourself all upset and worst, lower yourself by hurling all sorts of vulgarities at someone who was just speaking his/her mind and not leave your name.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Be With Me

Finally caught the much acclaimed Eric Khoo's Be With Me and I am glad I watched it. In total, there were 4 stories: The story of Jackie and Sam (teenage lesbian "couple"), the obese security guard and his dream girl (played by Lynn Poh), an old man's loss of his soulmate and the one story weaving all four stories into one, the true life story of Theresa Chan.

The arthouse film was truly intriguing, replacing conversational dialogues with SMS-es, instant messaging, love letters and Ms. Theresa Chan typing on a typewriter. It was literally like a silent movie, with total dialogues probably not more than 5 minutes.

Watch Be With Me, then will you realise "getting terminated from your internship company, being constantly broke but you still have a roof over your head, complaining of having no life" is nothing compared to what some others go through. Or rather, the courage and strength they gather from within to live life positively despite their disability.

Kudos to Eric Khoo and Ms. Theresa Chan. Thank you for reminding me that I whine and complain too much about almost every little thing.

"Searching for the lost soul within"

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Oops I'm Gonna Walk All Over You

Before I start blogging about what I was planning to blog about. I just saw an announcement on OLE that sent me into panic and excited mode. Contradicting huh? HTM Seniors please pay attention (or go log into your own OLE account and get excited like I did or rather I still am)!

Dear Senior Year Students,

As part of the requirement for the core subject 'Hospitalty & Tourism
Seminars', an overseas educational trip will be organised to 3 destinations
namely Bali, Macau and Dubai on the 3rd week of Nov 05. The cost will be about
$1,100, $1,400 and $2,200 respectively (subject to changes).You are to select
one of these three destinations.

There will be an briefing session at LT 21 from 10.00am - 10.30am after
your briefing on the subject 'Consultancy Project Management' on the 24th
September 2005.

It is of utmost importance that you attend the briefing as the overseas educational trip is compulsory.

Thank you.


-screams- I want to go to Dubai! I want I want I want I want! Any other HTM people excited?! I AM! Okay, I have to calm down.

Firstly, I definitely will not be going to Dubai. Because it's a whopping $2200. I cannot even afford Bali ($1100) still go what Dubai. Everyone else will obviously get the parentals to pay for it and since it's an educational trip I know for a fact everyone will take the chance to go to Dubai. Like, it's Dubai you know.

Okay was side-tracking there a little. My point is, my parentals mum does not have that kind of money. Those who don't know me well may think I'm kidding but I am not. I guess it's either I get the money from my aunt or maybe it can be subsidised somehow. Time to e-mail Ms. Ivy Tan.

"Words are only words, can you show me how you feel."

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Oh Boy Am I Pissed

You can't even hold a decent conversation with me without getting distracted by someone else. Whether it is on the phone or through sms (much less face to face). When I arrange to meet you for dinner, you forget all about it and make your own plans. Then when you realised that it was your mistake, you squeeze in time for me and tell me we can meet. 1 hour later when I message you to confirm the time and location, you tell me you're going to have your dinner now cause you haven't eaten the whole day.

I am sick and tired of being the one making the effort to arrange a meeting. You have tested my limits time and time again. This time, I think you have crossed the line. You're the one having the school holidays but it seems like your social calender is so packed that you can't even squeeze in a dinner appoinment with me.

I know you are going to be upset when you see this. I am sorry but please remember I am human too. I am even more upset with you. Fuck it. Whatever.

"Tell me what this friendship is worth."

Monday, September 05, 2005

Block 535

Everytime I look out of the office window, I see this block of HDB flats, namely block 535. Yes boredom has got the better of me and I'm blogging nonsense to kill time. Time check: 1646 hours. 1 hour and 14 minutes till I get out of the office.

I'm sick of data-entry. Seriously. Considering I used to be okay with it, this is just too much. I'm falling asleep as I am typing this cause I am so sick of Microsoft Excel. My stand still holds, Bill Gates should be shot for inventing Microsoft Office. I strongly suggest he invents some robot to do all these "sai kang". Okay, nonsense again. I'm feeling crabby so just bear with this or scram.

Seems like they do not need me to help out with NATAS, which I hope remains that way -crosses fingers- so I can sleep in during the weekends. I've been so deprived of my weekend sleep on my own bed with my own pillows, bolster and blanket. I'm sleeping in till the sun don't shine and I will make sure no one wakes me up unless someone has been admitted into the hospital or the house is on fire -choy-.

---

Rouge on Saturday with the gf and her friends. They were playing band music, you know the "my sister kind of music"(Read: Rock, Punk Rock, Emo kind). Which is fine by me as long as the bands sound good, boy were they terrible with a capital T. Okay, actually it is not fine when it's band all night till 0200. Bumped into Ms. C.S. Leong there. Nice seeing you again dear. Meet up for coffee or something together with Quek soon okay? Love. Take care.

Left for Cheeky Monkeys. The last time I was there was probably almost 2 years ago, which was when I first got drunk in my life. -scowls- The place is same old same old, plenty of non-chinese and alcohol cheap like don't know what.

---

I've heard so many nasty things or sometimes cold hard truths about myself. It doesn't matter if people of no significance call me a bitch, slut, snob or what have you. It hurts the most when someone whom you love (eg. your partner) says it to you especially when it's just an assumption. You know what? Then again, I might just be jolly well shameless.

"There is no truths in any of your lies."

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Play Me Some Rock and Roll

I am at work. Yes, it's a Saturday afternoon and I am at work. -mumbles, grumbles and whines- It's such a typical Chinese family business where employees are still required to work on Saturdays. Even the "Gahmen" is encouraging five day work week. It's time to change your policies and move on with the times. Okay I better shut my pie-hole up before I get sued or something.

Jack Daniel's Friends of Jack party last night at CHIJMES with the gf. It was okay I guess, honestly, pretty boring but free JD and finger food so nothing lost (Goodness, do I sound like the kiasu Singaporeans I spoke about in my previous entry).

Met darling Maye earlier to collect the invites from her. Thanks a million for the invites darling. It was good seeing you again. We must meet up soon okay? Talk to you soon. Love you!

Left around 2300 and headed to Cine to catch a movie. The Perfect Catch it was. It's your typical Drew Barrymore kind of movie, ditzy love comedy. After which, met the best friend which I haven't seen in donkey years (seriously donkey years). Eh you punk, we're meeting for dinner next week after I'm off work, my treat, your birthday present and your choice of the restaurant. I'm already so exploited over here till I lost my brain cells trying to think of what to get you for your birthday. Plus, we need to catch up on plenty of things. I haven't spoken to you in donkey years as well.

TP Designers' are already on their school vacation (eyes the best friend and rest of designers evilly). Life is so unfair.

"Hold me back"