2005

Today is the last day of 2005. This year has been full of ups and downs, though more downs than up. I'll just try to keep it short and summarise in point form chronologically.

-Broke up with Tau Pok somewhere in April. But all is good, we're still good buddies.
- Got de-registered from school because I had trouble paying for school fees.
- Fired from my first internship company (TTG) went on to Chan Brothers Travel.
- Attempted suicide. I shan't elaborate.
- Got dumped. Almost attempted suicide again but I'm good with or without you. In fact, I'm doing so much better than before.
- I've been broke for the past 2 months. When I say broke, I mean seriously zero. Sigh.
- Fell out with Queky dear and my girls (Chy, Ryl and Marilyn) for a couple of days because I refused to attend school for 3 full weeks after the breakup and almost got kicked out AGAIN.

I guess, 2005 is just a whole year of fucking up my whole 19 years of life. I fucked up over and over and over and over again. One fuck up after the other. I reckon many were damn disappointed with me because I never did fuck up before.

I worry too much about meeting my loved ones expectations so much so I just broke down under the pressure. Someone mentioned (you know who you are) that I attempted suicide to get attention, know what, now I think back, you were right but everyone handles the same situations differently and you weren't me.

Now everything's back on track. Got a job to support myself and friends whom I love dearly. Two more things to fix, my damn hanging no where love life and getting back on track with school.

2006 will be better. It better be. I've had enough of 2005.

---

My best friend darling Quekypoo Fishcake. Thank you for being there at the hospital every single day when I needed you the most. Thank you for always being there when I need you. Though we haven't seen each other for almost a month -ahem- and we haven't been talking because FYP has stolen my best friend away, please remember I'm always here when you need me. I love you so much and CAN WE FUCKING MEET UP LIKE SOON?! I really miss you. There's so much to talk about, so many hugs to give. 3 more months to Cookie, hang in there. Love.

Pubes, Tau Kee, Cow Shit Leong my supposed girlfriend to fend off guys and clubbing kaki. I've known you for what? 3 years once 2006 is here. I'm so glad we are still so damn close even after Tau Pok and I broke up. Thank you for always being there for me giving me advice, hugs when I cry. You have no idea how much you mean to me girl. Hang in there, 2006 will be better for all of us. -sings: I need a girlfriend- Love you dear.

Marilyn my glam Zouk queen with VIP access to all clubs. Darling, I know this year you've probably given me so many scoldings and that you've almost wanted to kill me at least twice. With all honesty, thank you for waking me up with the scoldings because you're the only one who dares to scream, rant and rave at me. I'll always love you for who you are and remember, Mei Nu and Mei Li. ((: Love you my future SQ girl.

Lil Ryl bitch partner. Known you since year 1. Time really flies and we'll be graduating in less than 3 months. No matter what paths we embark on after graduation, please always keep in contact. You've been my dearest bitch watching me go through all that weight loss and weight gain in 3 years. To more mambo days and bitching sessions. I love you bitch! ((:

Chy oh my blur Adidas Chy. I'll always remember the "You are Carol Tham's sister, don't lie!" on Orientation day back in 2003. ((: Thank you for always being who you really are. A head turner with the purest heart. Likewise, you and Ryl have been like sisters to me in school. I don't know what I'd do without you dear. Love you!

Sotong queen Sel. Though we probably like met not more than 3 times officially this year, you're still the best friend that I'll never ever forget. I truly miss the blue and white KC days. Bubble tea, DDR, Mad Monks. After tomorrow, we're 20! 7 years of friendship. Old already ah. Haha. Love you girl. I miss you! We need to meet up with Queky soon okay. -hugs-

Tau Pok. You ah. I don't know what to say after what you told me today man. Sheesh. LOL. Anyway, good luck with -ahem- that and thank you for being the all so irritating till I want to whack you self. To many more years of friendship. Love you!

Tau Gay Zen. LOL. Stupid Night Safari woman that eats so damn much but is hell thin. Its been nice knowing a fellow camera whore. To many more camera whoring sessions and mad toilet trips at Zouk. Welcome to the Lonely Hearts Club and My Yong Tau Foo clan. Love you too!

To all HTM Seniors. Guys and girls, just 2 more months of suffering and ta-da! Diploma. Its been nice knowing every single one of you. To those who've been utterly patient with my slack-ness and tardiness in school, thank you very much. Good luck with your future endeavours after graduation. I love you all! Okay, except one or two. AHEM.

All so white Tofu. Thank you for putting smiles on my face when I'm feeling down but stop being so irritating please. Smack you I tell you. More running to the taps sessions at Zouk. I love you! ((:

To everyone else especially my dearest all so happening mother, sister and mother's boyfriend. Thank you for all your support throughout my screw ups. 2006 will be a better year. I promise. At least I'll make sure I don't screw up again. Love you all!

---

Barbeque at Clair's earlier. Food was good. Thanks for everything girl. (: Zen, Leong and I headed down to Momo around 0400 and left at 0500. Damn bo liao right. It was impromtu so I was in a Polo Tee, Denim skirt and flops. Leong the best, shorts and some short sleeved button up shirt and flops. We looked super unglam and super un clubbing like.

Best part? Some mutt came to pick me up and he just didn't get the point that I wasn't straight. Thank God Leong aka my girlfriend was there to save me. SHEESH.

Meeting the usual suspects later in the night for a house party at Buona Vista. Time to get pissed drunk, do some midnight swimming in a private pool and be happy that 2005 is over.

Sigh. What do I do about you. I'm really confused. I don't want this to drag on anymore. I really don't.

`Spinning: DMX - Up In Here

"Its just another 365 days"

Hung Up, Down, Left, Right

Hung up and hung over. I should just hang myself, serious.

Usual Wednesday. Met Tits, Zen and Leong at Phunk. Downed a few glasses in less than 30 minutes. Played 5, 10 with Leong and made her down her glass, which she did not in the end, lousy.

Left Phunk at 2245 I think and by the time we got to Zouk, mammoth queue please BUT we barely queued for 5 minutes. Hurhur. Saw Jasmine Soh in the queue so we obviously cut queue and what a coincidence, Jasmine and Zen are ex colleagues. Sarah came along soon after then I don't know how but Tits managed to get us all in. Really jump queue our way in. -sniggers-

[edit: 1903hours] I just realised the whole night I didn't flash my I.C. Phunk because we're regulars there till they all recognise each one of us. Zouk, I don't know why but almost 6 of us went into without getting checked. Lol. I like.[/edit]

Usually I try not to drink so much at Phunk cause I know that there'll be Chivas to handle later but I think cause we were rushing for time, I was just drowning myself in alcohol. So well, I ended up pretty erm or rather extremely high. So much so that I vaguely remember what happened after Tofu came along to say hi. -.-

Vernon (or what the fuck is his name?!) drove me back. We planned to head to 85 for Ba Chor Mee but it was closed! What the fuck right. So we headed to Simpang, which was where I tripped and officially sprained my left ankle for the tenth thousand time plus a few bonus bruises. Leong says that at this rate I sprain my ankle, I'll cripple myself soon. Knn.

Came home and knocked out till 1300 just now. Everytime I get drunk or close to drunk, I barely sleep. Fuck shit nonsense please.

Time to rest at home and get myself back in school mood. I haven't been turning up for my fucking project meetings. Fucking screwed major. Plus there are so many datelines next week. I better make sure everything's still safe. Don't know what fucking holidays it is when there's so much to do.

I don't know why I still hang on even though nothing seems to be happening. I'm not expecting anything to happen but you're confusing me.

I feel like a fool. Wait, I am a fool, a fool for you.

*P.s. My handphone is totally out. Sigh. So ya. Don't bother trying to contact me.

`Spinning: Rihanna - Should I

"Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky"

It Is All In The Mind

It's all in the mind. Mind over matter. -continues to ramble on like some mad bitch-

Fantastic. My biological clock has been turned upside down by work. I sleep after 0700 hours and wake up around 1600 hours. When school reopens, I am so dead.

Today is Wednesday! YAY! Wednesday's currently my favourite day of the week because it means, Mambo Jumbo @ Zouk!

Got home from work at around 0500 hours. I was so hungry that I went straight to the kitchen and cooked myself 2 sunny side ups, luncheon meat and rice. -burps- All that was missing was some "Xiao Bai Cai" with oyster sauce but nevertheless, it was good! -beams-

I have been eating supper, missing breakfast and lunch on a daily basis. I swear I'm so going to put on weight sleeping right after I eat everyday. -grumbles- So much for losing 5 kgs in a month. I see the fats coming right back.

Work's good. Fun in fact. I just have to remind myself constantly about my priorities. School first then work, not the other way around (like previously at Coffee Club).

I'm still hanging by that thin thread. I just don't know what to do.

"(Oh, can you) Give me one reason why
You wouldn't want this kinda guy girl
Cause I stay dipped I stay laced
And I know you know I'm fly
Girl, stop playing games with me
And let's get it on tonight
You got nothing to lose
Let me do what I do

Oh baby you
Got what I need
But you say I'm just a friend
But you say I'm just a friend
(Just wanna be your) Cause I can be your
Fantasy (fantasy, girl)
But you say I'm just a friend
But you say I'm just a friend"

Christmas '05

Christmas, Christmas. I wonder how its going to be like next year. I remember I spent 04's Christmas with Tau Pok, Tau Kee and Queky. Consisted of town, Pictionary, Coffee Club and my sister scaring the shit out of me.

This year was pretty much the same I guess. Except that Tau Pok and I are not seeing each other anymore and we've both been recently dumped. |:

Met the Tofu in town first. Thank you for the present, chocolate and ice cream dear. Love you! -double beam- Tau Pok came along after being late for an hour then Tofu left and we headed to Cine's LJS for dinner. The Bel and Tits came along. Sat around Cine somemore and then Zen came along. Basically it was hours of sitting around trying to decide how we were going to spend the night.

Cine was surround with so many Ah Bengs and Ah Lians. I have never seen so many of them gathered in one area before man. Sheesh. So much that it was such a huge turn off that we left the area. Finally Tau Kee who stayed the nearest to town came along and we parked ourselves at Liat Tower's BK and that was where we welcomed Christmas. -.-"

Stoned around some more then they headed to 7-11 and bought alkie. Tits left for HRC and the rest of us (Tau Kee, Tau Pok, Zen & Myself) headed to Chinablack. By the time we claimed our drinks and all, Tau Pok and Zen were damn high. They were like mad?! Laughing at every single thing. Tau Kee and I were just laughing at their stupidity and silly-ness.

Headed into VIP and I drank somemore. I had like the most to drink and by the end of the night I was only one wide awake and sober. This tells me that my alcohol tolerance level has gone up again cause I haven't gotten drunk since weeks ago and I've been drinking equally as much.

So I guess Christmas wasn't too bad at all. Considering Tau Pok and Zen couldn't stop laughing about everything made the night much more interesting.

Gave MoS a miss today. AGAIN. Invites then never go AGAIN. 5th time. -stabs self- I'm too tired. I think the strain of working in a club is getting to me. Sigh. What to do. Back to work tomorrow.

Oh my God! It was snowing in Singapore! LOL.

"I don't know what you're thinking and I don't really want to know; Ignorance is bliss"

Rouge

0600 hours, just got home. -mumbles- Yes yes. I work at Rouge. Figured that it doesn't really bother me if I get any unwanted visitors because after all I'm working as a cashier not a server so I rarely interact with customers. Its just me and the bills. So if you spot the cashier dancing behind the counter, that would be yours truly. I dance because the music's good and because the air conditioning is freezing lethal.

Pretty used to all the promotions and SOPs (Standard of Procedures) now. Yesterday had a negative variance of S$1, today no variance at all! -beams- Downside was that I kinda panicked during closing and made a few mistakes here and there.

I love it when there are private functions because it means left over food! Sneaked into the kitchen when I was free and had like spring rolls and this SUPER delicious chocolate balls. Asam Pedas Ayam and rice was for supper. I swear I am going to become really fat. As I type, I am munching on chips and contemplating to cook instant noodles but I will resist! |: I think cause I am having my period (I know, too much details but this is MY damn blog!) that's why I am eating so much.

I actually enjoy working very much as compared to Coffee Club previously. I reckon because its a club and plus Rouge has a older clientele so its extremely interesting to see drunk ADULTS making a fool out of themselves. Plus, everyone's all so fun and there's John Molina & The Krugers and all so good R&B music to dance to. So much so that there's barely a boring moment.

Now time to party later after midnight mass and Sunday night then its back to work on Monday. I see the moolah rolling in. -beams- Oh, advance Merry Christmas everyone!

I miss you.

`Spinning: Mr. Vegas - Tamale (Club Remix)

"When will you get the picture
Your the past I'm the future
Get away it's my time to shine
If you didn't know the boy girl is mine

You need to give it up
Had about enough
It's not hard to see
The boy girl is mine
I'm sorry that you
Seem to be confused
He She belongs to me
The boy girl is mine"

Signs

It is 0500 hours and I just got home from work. I'm not exactly tired or anything cause I guess my body's so used to such hours after all the weekly excessive clubbing sessions.

First day of work went quite well minus the fact that I was 30 minutes late. Sheesh. I need to fix the damn punctuality problem. -slaps self-

Uniform is pretty cute or rather nice would be a better word than cute. Red top and grey three quads. There aren't many clubs in town so if you're smart, go figure. Pssst, age limit for girls is 21, guys 23 though I've been there twice myself unless they changed the club rules recently.

One thing about the place is security is rather tight. Go toilet, check. Smoke break, check. Go home, check. Here check, there check, everywhere check. I can't even bring my handphone along with me. -mumbles-

Everyone is especially funny, it's like one whole big family. What beats working behind the bar or to be precise the cashier counter surrounded by so much alcohol (that I was so tempted to grab one bottle and serve myself a nice shooter) with good music to bob your head to?! It's like the perfect job for a mad clubber, to work in a club!

After closing was done and we were just sitting around waiting for the club manager to give the go ahead to go home, there was so much food. Like OMFG. I had Lagsana, chocolate Christmas log cake (give by one of the regular customers) and chicken wings! If supper is going to be that scrumptious every time I work, I'm going to turn fat. |:

Full shift again tomorrow. SIGH. Only reason that I'm working is because of moolah. For moolah, I am giving "White One With Aldrin" at Zouk a miss! I cannot believe myself. While I was working, Tau Pok, Tau Kee and Zen were having a fucking fantabulous time (at least that was what Tau Kee texted me) at MoS. I cannot believe I gave MoS a miss for the fucking 4th time and am giving Zouk a miss later.

To my lonely Christmas kakis, WE MUST GO CLUBBING! I don't care already. I'm going to miss it 2 days in a row and I am not going to miss it for the 3rd time. We'll head to church first then figure something out from there.

---

Typical Wednesday night out. Met the usual suspects together with Denise this time around at Phunk for drinks. Had my usual 4 - 5 Whiskey Drys then headed to Zouk to meet Clair who just came back from US. If you're reading this, when is there going to be an encore of Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles in your all so beautiful electric blue Peugeot?!

After reaching Zouk, the group was split into two. Usually I am the only one who heads to Main Zouk for Mambo while the rest stays at Phuture. This time around, I had Denise with me!

Mambo was okay. I think the DJ was having a bad night or something cause the music wasn't as good as the previous weeks. The only time I went mad was when they played Square Room and I was thinking about Marilyn and Ryl and suddenly Marilyn appeared right next to me on the podium! ((:

Saw the usual Mambo people, Gary, Seth, Osh, etc. Drank more Chivas with Green Tea as usual. A drink that cannot escape me when I see those guys every single week.

Then hung out with another group of Marilyn's friends near Members. I would term them as the Chinablack group as I met some back in our Chinablack days. Headed to supper with some of the guys at East Coast which they followed on to send me back. Ba Chor Mee. Wahh. Shiok. The advantages of being a girl. -grins-

Got home about the same time as I just did. Strangely enough, I found it pretty hard to fall asleep though I was dead tired. As I tried to fall asleep, I found my cheeks wet, I was crying. Exactly for what reasons, I don't really know but I have a slight guess to why. I don't know whether to hate my life or love it.

`Spinning: Will Smith - Party Starter

" If I kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If I kissed you

If I kissed you
What would Michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But I guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
And kiss you

If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
With a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you"

A.N.D.R.E.A

Did I ever mention how much I love my name? LOL. I'm taking an ego trip here so if you're not up for some good old ego tripping by yours truly, piss off.

Woke up with a temperature at 39 degrees celsius. OMFG please. -glares at Leong- Thank you very much for passing your virus to me. I've actually been down with flu and cough so I guess I was more susceptible to the virus given my present weak immune system. -sniff, cough-

Gave UWS a miss. I am terribly sorry guys. Owe y'all major for that and I'll make it up. I feel like shit for not going for the meeting. -mumbles-

My body's aching like mad and my nose is leaking like a tap. Argh. I refuse to take my medication because it would make me sleepy and yes I am still going to Mambo. Last week I mambo-ed with a fever but fuck it. No wonder I can't seem to get well. Hmm.

As I was saying. I am still mambo-ing because there will be no more mambo for me once school starts, plans with Leong, Zen, Clair, Denise and Tau Pok were made already (I don't like to fly people's kite) and most importantly, I promised my girls (Ryl & Marilyn) that I'll be there to mambo with them till we drop dead.

I hope I manage to last throughout the night. Then again, what ever stops Andrea from clubbing? -grins- Out to meet Denise darling now.




`Spinning: Deep Dish - The Dream

"I love myself. Lol."

Euphoria

I just completed my e-Business for Hospitality & Tourism online quiz and that officially marks the start of the school holidays for me! Considering that I've only gone for 3 lectures out of 6, I did relatively well, 22/30. Actually, I was expecting to fail cause I heard its pretty tough and I don't even have 3/4 of my notes but of course like usual I decided to just fuck it and just do it. ((:

Met the sickly Leong in town and launched our job hunting like finally. Lady luck seems to be smiling my way today because I landed myself a job after the 1st interview! -double beam-

Will be working as a part time cashier at a Bar/Club/Restaurant somewhere in town. I have conveniently forgotten the name of the place -ahem- so that I don't get unwanted visitors like how I conveniently forgot to mention the word Club to the mummy. -AHEM- Only those who should know, would know where.

Hopefully I'll be able to juggle the working hours and school but its nothing I haven't done before so I guess I will survive though the working hours are slightly well, different from Coffee Club. I'll just take it as clubbing and working at the same time. LOL.

Supposed to start later but I have a long day ahead cause of UWS and well, MAMBO so I pushed it back to Thursday. I cannot miss Mambo seriously. I CANNOT and I REFUSE! I'm already giving MoS a miss on Thursday.

I'm sorry Leong darling that I had to back out due to work even though you had invites (I hear my mum going, So stupid) but remember what I said! I will pay for your cover once my pay comes in! Haha! Now it's on my blog, you don't have to worry about me backing out on my word.

Headed to Lido after that and caught Chicken Little. OMFG its so efff-ing lame. I only laughed at the part where I cannot remember who said that Darth Vader was his father. I laughed because I'm a Star Wars fan and thought it was fucking ironic and stupid. Insult to my intelligence. Just like Spongebob. Lame-ness level can fight with Patrick the Star Fish please. -.-

After so many months of drama and turmoil, I'm finally feeling free and happy. For once, I really am happy. Maybe singlehood does suit me better minus the part where I do stupid things. -ahem- Bottom line, I am happy.

To all you fuckers who made my life miserable or who are trying to make me miserable, BITE ME! -saunters off-

`Spinning: Bananarama - Love In The First Degree

"I'm patiently waiting under the mistletoe"

The Scream

Finally they have caught the robbers who stole my favourite artist's painting last year. GOOD! Because I am planning a trip to Munch's museum in the near future. Hope they retrive the paintings soon.

More details.

Mothers & MOS

Mummy bought me KFC for dinner and we continued to have this conversation.

Mummy: Eh. Did you go for Ministry of Sound's opening?
Me: -eyes wide open in shock-
Mummy: Its called Minstry of Sound right? Or did I get it wrong?
Me: No no. Correct. No I didn't go. I had invites but I didn't go.
Mummy: So stupid.

WTF. Even my own mother is mocking me. OMFG. What is the world coming to. My younger sister (Underaged mind you), signs me in to Liquidroom, my mum occasionally asks me to join her at Devils Bar. NOW SHE MOCKS ME for not going to MOS. Why am I the most un-happening person in this family. Sheesh.

I was at home being an angel doing my Hospitality & Tourism Seminars educational trip essay and she calls me STUPID?! I want to smack her I tell you. Haha. I still love you mummy.

Now this is Jerms version:

Mummy: Eh heard that there's a new club in town right? Something ministry
Jerms: Ministry of Sound lah
Mummy: Ah. Nice anot?
Jerms: Haven't been there leh. Just open
Mummy: Eh must bring me there ok! Heard its very nice!
Jerms: ~!@!#*&@#$
Jerms: But its for youngsters!
Mummy: WHO SAY I CANNOT CLUB? I MUST LEARN TO GO CLUBBING OK.

As I type, Jermaine and I are planning a family outing to MOS together. ROFL. Our mothers are so damn happening man.

Santa, That's My Only Wish This Year

Home for second day in a row. I cannot believe I am spending the first few days of school holidays doing absolutely nothing at home. Add on the fact that I'm home alone because everyone is out working, I just want to kill myself.

There were plans for job hunting with Leong today but the poor girl has fallen sick so we pushed it back to tomorrow. You better get well by tomorrow so we can go job hunt, catch a movie and get pissed on Wednesday! Take care dear. -hugs-

The both of us attempted to get ourselves into the Christmas mood by downloading whatever Christmas songs there are. It's not working. Maybe a little but not exactly. I can't believe I dread Christmas this year. I cannot imagine how's its going to be like for NYE once Christmas is over. -looks at Leong-

Christmas is in 6 days and I have absolutely zero plans as of yet. Sigh. I guess I'll head to Church with Leong then head down to ECP, hang around with alcohol, cigarettes, tears and love. Neither of us are in the mood to head to a club, squeeze with half of Singapore and watch couples make out. But plans always change. We shall see.

I was talking to Tofu online yesterday and we spoke about my Christmas wish this year. I know Santa READS MY BLOG! LOL. So Santa, won't you grant me my wishes this year? Pretty please?

`Spinning: Armin Van Buuren - Serenity Sensation White Anthem 2005

"In denial as always; Miss abnegation."

Love Actually

Amazingly got up before noon though I slept at 0700 hours. I'm feeling pretty stoned now not because I am tired. I'm just seriously spaced out from stoning the whole day.

Cooked lunch together with the mummy and I finally cleaned my room, the floor at least. Like finally! It was getting irritating cause I couldn't walk without stepping on something. At least my side of the room is clean now. -glares at lil brat- Now I'm left with my study table and the dresser to clean. Made the mummy happier for the fact that I wasn't going out. I am such an angel. ((:

Then I got bored and watched Love Actually. With all honesty, I've always loved that show but after the whole movie, I regretted watching it again. Why? I ended up bawling like a baby while hugging my pillow. I hate all these lovey dovey shit when I'm single, its like a million arrows aiming at my poor fragile heart. Plus its a Christmas romance comedy. Yes I am feeling the season's blues.

The movie was about telling your loved ones that you love them. I love Mummy. I love Manda the brat. I love Queky Wueky the best friend. I love Leong. I love Ryl. I love Marilyn. I love Chy. I love Tau Pok. I love Maye. I love all my other friends.

It was also about telling those who don't know you love them, that you do. Like the best friend with the cards, the Portuguese girl and the English man, the 2 kids Sam and Joanna. Its a God damn movie so its possible. In reality? It doesn't happen. It just doesn't happen that way. Sigh.

I'm not as happy or excited about the holidays as I was 2 entries ago. I don't know why. I guess cause what is there to really enjoy when you're like ready to declare bankruptcy right? Add on the fact that Christmas and New Year's is coming, I just really just wished these two holidays would get over and done with fast.

Yes I'm moody. I think that's how I'm going to spend the rest of 2005.

"Love actually is all around. RIGHT."

I Heard A Rumour

HRC was a little boring, music was bad tonight. Maureen and Tau Pok were damn high after 2 glasses. Both equally lousy but it was quite a hilarious sight.

Every single time I head to HRC, I hear more rumours about myself. Maybe it explains why I've been getting so many hits on this blog. I would like to thank people that don't know me personally that's been reading all these nonsense. I never knew I was so interesting.

I'm not going to mention what I heard this time round but I just think whoever (I have a fucking good mind to who it is, don't ever let me fucking see you around. Watch your fucking back and I mean it. Watch me.) that's been going around saying such stuff about me is fucking pathetic.

I don't even know you personally and you actually take relish in talking about me? Am I hot or what? Maybe you dig my ALL SO EXCITING life or something. Or maybe you're just a plain loser that you have to go around saying stuff about people so that people would like you in turn? Come on bitch, if you ain't got it, you ain't got it. So stop trying to climb the popularity ladder.

I would like to really thank you for helping me climb the popularity ladder even though I don't give a flying fuck about it. Thank you for making me all so famous. First with the Rick issue and then now this. Really. Thank you very much.

This doesn't really bother me because I'm kind of used to it after being in KC. Rumours are just started by pathetic no life-ers who have nothing better to do or talk about in life so they stoop to the level of bitching about people who don't even know their pathetic existence.

One word of advice for you bitch. Karma. Know what it means? If you don't you can always refer to the dictionary. Watch your fucking back. Don't you ever let me fucking see you slut.

"Pathetic losers"

Each Time

Each time I end up at a club. I ask myself what I am doing there.

I am so eff-ing bored at home. I cannot believe I am planning to stay home on a Saturday. I know I mentioned going to MOS/Zouk/HRC/Momo but as of now plans are cancelled. -mumbles- No MOS/Zouk because I am broke. No HRC and Momo because Tau Pok and Tau Kee doesn't like either respectively. BUT WHY?!

Everyone has been raving to me about MOS. Thanks. Really, thanks. Argh. Marilyn darling who's on VIP list (Since when isn't that Queen on VIP everywhere?!) raves about the music but insists that she's loyal to Zouk. Now Marilyn is telling me about The Retro Room at MOS. -.- THANK YOU AH. Make me feel like a moron for not going down on Wed, Thurs and yesterday though there were invites for me. Lol. I miss you my Glam Queen. Mambo on Wednesday with Lil Ryl yeah?

I figured out why I club excessively. Firstly I'm obviously an alcoholic. Its the 2nd best thing on earth next to nicotine. Secondly, dancing makes me a very happy girl. I kinda miss the podiums at Zouk and Chinablack now. Thirdly, I'm a night owl so I guess it beats staying home letting my mind run my life. Maybe its the only way that I know how to deal with the emptiness in my life for now.

My life feels like nothing. Its just all about clubbing, clubbing and clubbing. Its become, Andrea IS clubbing. Someone pick me up from this mess I've made of myself.

I'm out to Spinellis with Maureen. Then maybe HRC. I fucking hate fickle minded people.

I want to Zouk. DEEP DISH. I can't fucking believe I'm missing them tonight. Fuck.

"I don't know what it is but it seems she's got me twisted"

I'm Good

Zouk was good! Rather Phuture was good! Lol. So I cheated okay? Spent 15 minutes at We Luv House and the rest at Phuture. Its not my fault that no one wanted to We Luv House with me right?!

Jac picked me up and we drove to MOS. Omg. The place is so fucking crowded. It was only 2130 and the queue was already terrible! Thank God I chose to Zouk instead of MOS because I wouldn't enjoy myself with the huge crowd.

Drove down to Zouk after and collected my invites. Speaking of which, next time I have invites I'm just going to keep mum about it and only tell those I'm bringing along with me. Phone couldn't stop ringing because people were bugging me about the invites which got me pretty pissed.

Saw so many people at Zouk despite the fact that I saw even more at MOS. Queky was so sweet, she gave me a surprise by not telling me she was going to be there. Its nice to see your best friend after 2 weeks because FYP has stolen my best friend away. ): Nicole Mok, Erin, Denise, Manda, Rachel, Tau Pok, Tau Kee, Maira, Jac, Andrea Ng, Ryl, Seaweed, Leslie, Bryan and I cannot remember who else were amongst the rest I saw or were at Zouk.

On my way to school today, a thought came into my mind. Someone I think Rick, ever mentioned that I am too much of a flirt. Like wtf. Seriously I don't think so. I just like to keep my options open when I am single. Okay maybe I do flirt a little but no harm done. I'm single and unwanted so what else do you want me to do?! Its not as if I flirt when I'm attached. I'm a true believer of monogamy okay.

I am such an angel. I only had a sip of Bourbon Coke, Heineken and Vodka Orange. I've had enough alcohol for the past month. Okay, I take that back. The question in my head now is, MOS or HRC or Zouk tomorrow?! -headache- I'm going to sleep on it.

"I'm good with or without you"

Party Starter

I'm your venus, I'm your fire, your desire.
I heard a rumour, they say you've got a broken heart~
Woah~~~ Square Rooms~~

Okay. I am mad. YES! No school till next year! Actually not exactly cause I'm going to Sentosa for Consultancy Project Management on Wednesday then back at TP campus on Thursday to do SPSS. Okay fuck it. I am too HAPPY now to be bothered.

Oh my God. So happy. Sooooo happy. I can't wait to mambo again next week and the week after. Love in the first degreeeeee. Okay. As you can tell I'm fucking happy that school's out. Though there are still projects to be completed but at least no lessons for 2 whole weeks. Wheeee~!

Actually I so want to mambo now but its not a Wednesday. So I am mambo-ing to all my mambo music at home. Don't even try to imagine how stupid I look but I'm too happy to care. Plus, I'm alone at home. ((:

We Luv House later. Yay! Don't really wanna do MOS after all. Its going to be hell packed. Lala. Time to get ready to change, then head to the grandma's for dinner, then Jac's picking me up and driving me to Zouk. Lala. I love being chauffeured around. ((:

When Clubbing Becomes A Daily Fixture

Oh my God. Can someone just kill me right now. Fuck the fact that I'm blogging okay. I've been staring at Microsoft Word and my research materials for the past hour. After 1 hour, I have concluded that I am suffering from writers block. -slaps forehead- No I am not surfing the net neither am I talking to anyone on MSN.

What the hell. I'm still stuck where I started. Another 1,000 words to go. After not writing essays for almost 3 years, my ideas are not as fluent as before, in short, I'm rusty when it comes to writing GP like essays. It is already 2218 hours and I am already feeling sleepy, thank God I didn't take my cough mixture or I would have just knocked out completely. Argh. I will force myself to start at 2300.

Doesn't help that at the back of my head I'm going "Zouk or MOS? MOS or Zouk?" like non-stop. See the problem now is, I have invites to We Love House at Zouk tomorrow but Ryl just asked if I wanted to head to MOS tomorrow cause she has invites for me. What the hell please. I cannot decide ar!

Zouk because I haven't done We Love House for quite awhile already and I'm itching for some good old house music (side effect of not Zouk-ing Out therefore missed out Armin Van Buuren spinning live).

MOS because it is Ministry Of Sound hello you nut head. I've been dying waiting for them to open and instead of attending the pre opening party with Marilyn I am at home typing one too many blog entries and suffering from writers block for the educational trip paper.

Headache ah. I still can't decide cause if I do MOS, I'll have to fly Tau Kee and Tau Pok's kites for Zouk (and I have to collect the invites personally at Zouk) but I want to MOS. Actually there is a solution. I could Zouk and MOS! ((: Okay, that is not going to happen. At least I think it won't.

I am going to face the same problem on Saturday. Zouk for Deep Dish? HRC? MOS? And God knows what other club that pops into my plans. My life now revolves around clubbing. Every Monday I ask Tau Kee, so where are we headed to on Wed, Thurs, Fri and Sat? -.-

Crazy please. For the past month. I've been clubbing at least 3 times a week without fail (sometimes 4 times a week). Every single week.

With Christmas and New Year's Eve around the corner I'm might just suffer from a mental break down trying to decide where to go. DJ Pippi at Zouk on Christmas Eve? Zouk's Mambo Jumbo at Expo on NYE? Many more to be mentioned when I start facing the problem of deciding. -pulls hair-

*update: 2302 hours.

Okay. Problem settled. Ryl can't do MOS tomorrow because Ritz needs her to render her services to them till 0200 hours then she's heading to Zouk. Lol. So Zouk it is. Hello We Love House. -beams-

*update: 0504 hours.

OMG. I'm finally done with the damn paper. FINALLY. Yes! After the 2 project meetings tomorrow, it is officially the holidays! PARTY TIME~ -bounces around-

"Pop that booty."

Should I?

Oh fuck. Hangover. Even worst than the previous one. Missed 0900 hours tutorial. Cannot man, really cannot. My gastric pain is mother fucking killing me, my lungs are about to come out from all the coughing and I'm having a hell of a headache but I asked for it. |:

Now let me blog proper about the night's events in a sober state. Now when I read the previous entry, I just laugh at my moronic-ness. Nonsense please. I wasn't drunk but I was at the state of "bliss". Know when you're just so high but not drunk and everything seems so fine and dandy. I wish everyday's like that.

Met Tau Kee and Tau Pok in town and we headed to Far East for Chicken Rice. Yum. Deprived of it for many months. After which we parked ourseleves outside KFC and I did my edu trip paper while chatting. Tits and Bel came along soon after and we headed to MS to meet Zen for drinks.

I think I had about 4 or 5 Whiskey Drys and a cup of God knows what. Like can you guys stop mixing my drinks?! Then after we were done and Tau Pok was all high (One glass can get her high. -.-) we cabbed down to Zouk.

Made a thousand and one toilet trips. Just couldn't stop pee-ing please. Especially Zen. LOL. Drank some more E-33 then went out to meet Ryl and Chy who were stuck in the queue. Went back in to get Ryl her one for one, Bacardi Breezer Peach at the same time dancing to Square Rooms alone at the bar and drank some more Bacardi Breezer. -.-

Then it was Mambo at its best please. WAH LAU. So shiok. Hahahaha. Yes I LOVE Mambo. I ADORE Mambo. Mambo mambo mambo. The only person missing was Marilyn. Sheesh. Felt weird without the Queen around. Met Osh, Gary, Seth and I cannot remember the names of the rest. Drank some more. Chivas with green tea and Chivas with water. Knn. Make me down so many glasses. By that time I was half gone.

Chy, if you are reading this, please learn to drink a little! Haha. Everytime Ryl and I got to 'rescue' you and drink on your behalf. Now both of us are suffering from serious hang overs. Lol.

Headed back to Phuture to look for the rest and only then I realised that Tau Pok, Tits and Bel all left. Zen was gone. -.- Drank something but I cannot remember what. Lol. Tau Kee was just Miss Cranky. Haha! I still love you! Then I headed back to Mambo. Phuture was boring~

Mambo-ed some more, drank even more. Then the most hilarious thing happened. This Caucasian guy came up to me and said "Want me to show you how to dance?" I was like?! WTF. Is that an insult or a super bad pick up line?! But I panicked at that point and nudged Osh to save me, which he did.

Like usual. Almost wanted to punch this guy. I came down from the podium, he grabbed my waist and started the "Straying Hand Syndrome". Pulled his arm and raised it into the air and asked him what the fuck is wrong with him. He IGNORED me please. He was either really dead drunk or just plainly ignored me. Fucker.

Mambo-ed all the way till closing. So tired please. Thank God we all had people to drive us back. I want my next gf to drive! LOL.

Everyone tells me not to give up. That I should give it some time and quit whining about wanting to give up. Fine I won't okay but I'm not going to expect anything anymore. If someone else comes along, then goodbye and sayonara.

Alcohol is good. It either makes me not think like last night or think things through. Either way, I like it. Woohoo. Invites for We Love House this Friday at Zouk. ((: Now back to the edu trip paper.

*update: 1754 hours

Photos from the night taken at MS's Phunk Bar. I love. ((:


Presenting, Zen, Leong and Yours Truly. (Left to Right)


Awww. I love you too Tau Kee! ((:


Okay, this photo is hilarious. We were trying to act slutty and show off what poor assets we had. LOL.

"What goes around, comes around. I think its high time you got yours."

im like fucking high now while typing this. whiskey drys', rum cokes', chivas green teas', chivas with water. fucking hell high please. YA LA I MAMBO-ED la okay. i just couldnt resist the temptation. I HAD TO MAMBO.

mambo was fucking hell good la please. omg. thank god i went. i was suffering from serious mambo withdrawal symptoms. sorry to cheryl, zen, tits, belle, tau pok and seaweed that i left phuture to mambo. I HAD TO MAMBO LA. haha. yes its an obsession now. fucking headache can.

lesson at 0900 hours later. think i wont sleep then just go for lesson all bleary eyed what nonsense la. then come home and comatose then finish up the damn edu trip paper. at least i have 500 words now. just 1,000 words short.

headache ahhh. fucking alcohol. fucking hell drank a lot. ryl and chy were there too. the only one missing was the queen marilyn. knn. but she's mos-ing later la. i also wanna mos but i cannot lah. fucking hell. argh. excuse me for the vulgarities and the incoherence, im just pretty SEH. thankyouverymuch.

thank god Osh sent me back in his car. if not I would have died. i want my next gf to fucking drive la. im so used to be driven around now. fuck cann.

i know what i did wasn't right but it was in the heat of the moment. im fucking worried now but i hope everything will turn out right.

though you were there just now, i barely saw you for 3 mins cause i was fucking high and itching to mambo like hell. didnt like the idea of seeing you anyway. fucking breaks my heart. i dont know what to do with u anymore. im so giving you the ultimatium. do you like me or not. if no, then im fucking moving on without you cause ive had about this much.

i think im gg to suffer from a super hangover though im not drunk. give me another glass and i confirm will just knock out flat.

I Ain't No Hollaback Girl

Yes yes. I said I wouldn't blog but fuck it okay. The stress is really getting to me. No Jermaine, I will not die from excessive blogging, you can choose not to read my nonsense. Haha. I still love you la Mr. Britney Spears. We will mambo till we all die next week okay. Wait no, you've got Calculus to study for. Hah! -smug grin- Okay, the week after with everyone else yeah?

Sidetracked there because now everytime I blog, I think of what Jermaine said to me in lecture today. So ANYWAY, I attempted to do my thang for this blog just now but I admit defeat. Think I will have to enlist Junior's full force help instead.

Usual Tuesday. Crashed Marilyn and Fan's Jap lecture. I should really consider taking it as an extra CDS since I crash the lecture every single week. Haha. After which, met Tau Kee and Tau Pok in town. I had to take a break from all the stress from projects and school. Did the usual, parked ourselves at Spinelli's and chatted the night away.

We're like perpetually at Spinelli's. Everytime we're in town, its Spinellis. Now you know where to find me if you're in town. Haha. Met the Seaweed for awhile cause she was at The Balcony with her friends. Then we all went home. How exciting. We need to do some after clubbing supper with Gemma. I miss that crazy girl and her "Ah Lian" version of My Humps.

My mum's boyfriend just got up and left the house. It's like 0300 hours?! Before leaving he made a whole ruckus because I had the ashtray with me. Wtf. My mum is fine with me smoking so who are you to make noise. Plus, I don't smoke in front of them so what the hell?! Side tracked again.

I have no school later! Yay! Tutorials all cancelled due to consultations. Oooh wee! So I'll be meeting Tau Kee in town (Yes, the towning days are back) to go job hunting then meet the Tau Pok when she's done with work I think.

Sigh. Time to get started on my edu trip paper because all I've done is the outline and I have about 2 more days to churn out 1,500 words or rather bull. I want to Mambo and MOS later, MOS and dbl O on Thurs, We Luv House and Momo on Friday and DEEP DISH is spinning at Zouk on Saturday! My favourite DJ! Flashdance~! How?! So many things to do and places to go. I have neither money nor time. How I ask you how?!

I feel like a moron. I don't know what's really going on and it's starting to get a little tiring. I know everyone tells me to give it a little more time but I'm impatient and my patience clock is starting to tick. I really feel like making things clear but I know I can't cause I'll ruin things. I just hope the answer comes to me soon. I ain't no hollaback girl.

*update: 0609 hours

I'm so fucking screwed. I spent the last few hours trying to write the damn reflection paper and all that I have managed to churn out is 250 words! I'm like 1,250 short. Fantastic. Seriously. Just fabulous.

As you can telling I'm fucking panicking cause there's still a long way to go. It actually went very smoothly till I finished the damn introduction and was about to start on the 2015 Tourism Masterplan. Thing is, I know nuts about the fucking masterplan except that it includes improving tourism infrastructure and the 2 damn hell IRs.

I tried googling it, msn-ing it, yahoo-ing it. NOTHING. Help. I just need a detailed article or report or the official masterplan shit. Help help help. I need help with this masterplan shit. Someone help me please. Please.

"She's the one."

Fantastic. I'm running a fever and coughing my lungs out. GREAT.

I missed HT Seminars tutorial this morning. I so want to see the doctor to get an MC to cover my ass and also get well soon but I can't. FUCK. Money. I have $1.80 to my name and its gg to be used up for bus to school later. Donations really needed.

I'm so tired. School's draining me out physically and mentally major. I've fallen sick and I'm constantly lethargic with the lack of sleep and facing the computer 24/7. Can I have 3 more Andreas?

Drea 1 completes all the projects. Drea 2 goes to school. Drea 3 Mambos on Wednesday. Drea 4 MOS-es on Wed and Thurs. FUCK CAN. Marilyn has invitations for me to MOS's opening party and I fucking can't go cause of projects. I WANT TO GO. She had extra tickets to Zouk-Out and I declined. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.

I don't know how much longer I can hold out. Really. I've already fallen apart. Hanging in there by a thin breaking cobweb. Just 3 more days. Just 3 more days.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These

Sleeping problems again. Slept at 0430 hours then woke up at 0645 hours. Fell asleep at 0800 hours and woke up at 0845 hours. I gave up since I'm supposed to be up at 1030 hours. Now I'm hugging my pillow and drinking my daily dosage of caffeine.

Was busy racking my brains for Tourism Development Policies, PEST/SWOT analysis till 0430 hours (of course distracted by MSN half the time) then I finally headed to bed. Fell asleep almost immediately and I had the sweetest dream in my 19 years of life. So sweet that I'm smiling like an idiot while typing this. LOL. -idiotic grin-

The dream was a pretty short one considering I awoke at 0645 hours because of diarrhea -mumbles-. It consisted of Mambo at Zouk and *coughcough*. Firstly it is obvious that I am Mambo deprived, come on, I dreamt of the Mambo music, people and the entire Zouk on Wednesday. Next 2 weeks I will Mambo my life away. Secondly, *coughcough*, I think I'm going mad. -double beam-

Now, my dreams always come true and I hardly remember them. The last dream I had and remembered was about the ex breaking up with me and yes it did come true including the contents of the dream. So now, I'm praying this time my dream fairy does not fail me and make the dream come true. ((:

I'm happy, so happy. I think I'll still be smiling like a moron in school later. Oh my God so happy la. Siao liao.

Okay, I have to calm down. Anyway, the reason to why I'm blogging is to first announce to the world about my all so beautiful dream and that I will be hiatus till at least next week. I have to stop myself from blogging so much and concentrate on my Educational Trip paper and do something special for this blog. -smiles at Junior-

Till then I will not update unless I have a even sweeter dream (Haha!) or something note worthy happens. Love love!

---

update: 2245 hours.

I had to update. I'm so tired that I want to cry. I'm so stressed that I want to cry. Fuck I'm already crying. The pile of work seems never ending. I know I'm not alone but its really getting to me. I've been facing the computer night after night, typing reports and doing research. Its really never ending. I'm hanging in there. Just till the end of this week. Just 4 more days.

"I'm kinda feeling you right now"

Rumours

Hard Rock Cafe was okay I guess. Spent the first half seated and stoning away thinking about some stuff then the music got too good for me to miss dancing. Haha! Every single time we go there, everyone gets high because the alcohol is lethal. Thanks to Tits we always get our 2 glasses filled with at least half with alcohol then 3/4 a jug full of God knows what. Explains my headache now. |:

All I know is, Tau Kee is extremely happy because of *coughcough*. Lol. -shakes head-

So they left for supper and I walked down to take the night rider alone. This guy followed me all the way from HRC to my bus stop then continued to ask for my number. I was like $@#!@*^!. Wtf. Seriously. Told him with a straight face that I wasn't interested in guys. His expression was worth a million dollars I tell you. LOL.

The bus came and I knocked out from exhaustion completely. When I next woke up, I was at Tampines! FUCK CAN. Contemplated to walk back but it was seriously too far. So flagged a cab and begged the uncle to take me back for $3.40 (All I had left). God bless his kind soul. You think I had a terrible night, wait there's more.

Before entering HRC, I met Rick outside while she was waiting for Cole. Guess what?! Apparently there has been rumours going around the community (My era and younger, if the older era also know about it then I'm so dead) that we are dating! PLEASE. Let me make this VERY clear. Rick and I are not together, not dating, not sleeping together or whatever. We are just friends. The end, fullstop.

Sheesh. Yip asked me the same question on Thursday at Herstory and I didn't really give it any after thought. NOW?! Wtf. Just because Rick and I spoke to each other at Herstory makes us a couple?! Knn. Then like that I have plenty of girlfriends man. Hello my plentiful girlfriends.

Rick and I both have our eyes on different people. We just so happen to head to HRC every Saturday with separate groups of friends. SO, WE ARE NOT TOGETHER OKAY. -mutters- Please don't spoil my reputation or chances with my eyecandies and crushes. LOL. Like what Janice used to say, Chow Lesbians.

Many things have been said and many things happened today. It got me really thinking. I don't exactly know what's going on but I'll leave it to the hands of fate and destiny then we'll see where it goes from there.

Time to knock out dead asleep to the world. Oooh. Its raining. HAHA. Good luck to the people Zouk-ing Out. Ya ya, eating sour grapes can. Goodnight.

"You've got me hooked on you like a bait."

Cranky Bitch

Hello again. I realised this is the first time I'm doing excessive blogging outside the exam period. The only time it happens is when I'm stressed and I need an outlet to curb all that stress before it gets to me so, I reckon that I'm somewhat stressed. Plus, after keeping my fingernails for the few months during internship, they finally disappeared. I bite them when I'm nervous or stressed.

Slept at 0900 this morning and was awakened by my neighbour and their gathering at 1400. Don't know what they are celebrating but the whole corridor is packed imagine the ruckus they are creating. Plus, he kept bugging me to go over to take food (But the food nice please. Should have taken more. Lol.), finally gave in so they would all stop bothering me. I'm not in exactly the best of moods.

I've been talking to many different friends online. Half the time about our pathetic or not so exciting or extremely complicated love lives. Why is everyone single and involved with someone in one way or another EXCEPT ME?! Then I always end up dishing out advice when I can or just listening when I can't. The biggest irony? My love life is probably the most complicated of all. I don't even know what shit advice I've been giving cause everything is going all so wrong for me.

Actually maybe its not so complicated after all. Being who I am, I just tend to see into things too much till the simplest task becomes like a NASA project. Sigh. I'm feeling super emo now. Yeah, Andrea rarely feels emo but I feel jin emo can. Nonsense nonsense nonsense.

Every single person keeps asking if I'm Zouk-ing Out. FUCK LA. I AM NOT ZOUK-ING OUT. STOP RUBBING IT IN ALREADY PLEASE. PLEASE! And don't even bother to ask why. I'm not going to start, read the previous entry, point number 1. Thankyouverymuch.

I need to meet Quek. There's so much to whine, cry and bitch about. Best friend, why you always no time for me please. -mutters- Can we meet for one of our secret void deck rendezvous soon? Then we can cookie cookie till the morning and head straight to school. Lol.

Yes I'm cranky. So piss off.

"Its this 1 thing that got me tripping."

Killing Me Softly

At Leong's now. Blogging to kill time as usual. There's nothing to do online at all other than blogging anyway. Everyone's dead asleep except for Dan (whom I'm chatting with on MSN) and I, and that includes Leong so I'm like typing in the dark.

With regards to my previous entry. I ended up at Momo instead of Zouk. Yeah, club, blog and sleep my life away this time around. Haven't been to Momo since the week after their opening and that was how long ago with the ex. Sheesh. Brought back some stupid memories but everything's good.

Rushed out of the house in record time. 5 minutes of changing and make up. Haha. Met Tau Pok and Tau Kee straight at Central Mall then we went in to stand around like vases cracking stupid jokes and the usual nonsense. After standing around for an hour, Seaweed decided to come along as well and that was when the music finally took a turn to the good side. ((:

One thing I really hate about Momo is the "Straying Hands Symtom". Like omg. Bloody worst than Phuture please. Twice in one night. Men. -mutters-

Seaweed left around 0315, Tau Pok, Tau Kee and myself left around 0400. Planned to stay till 0600 but we were just too exhausted and Tau Pok was just stoning away.

Why are most people shocked that I'm not Zouk-ing Out? Usually its just because I'm supposedly (Okay I am) clubbing siao. Yes a month ago I planned to Zouk Out and I was excited like hell cause it was going to be my first Zouk Out but plans change?

Number 1, no money. Number 2, I don't want to squeeze with the clubbing population of Singapore, crowds get me cranky. Number 3, I don't fancy the idea of wearing a bikini and risking anything to happen to it in case I get drunk. Number 4, I don't want to squeeze out of Sentosa on the bus with the population the next morning. Number 5, I just don't feel like Zouk-ing Out. Been Zouk-ing too often.

But it doesn't mean I'm not clubbing. Haha! Well, at least there are plans for HRC but I'm not too sure about it as of yet. Feel like staying home to finish up Hospitality and Tourism Seminars educational trip critic paper. We shall see how it goes. Hmmm.

I need to stop this excessive clubbing crap. The problem now is, holidays are just 1 week away. How can I not mambo when I don't have lessons at 0900 hours the following day. Shall make this my new year's resolution. Maximum twice a month of clubbing. Pfffftt. Meanwhile, I'll club while I can.

I realised I lost quite a lot of weight. All my bottoms are wayy to loose for me. Explains everything cause I haven't been eating. Not hungry~ Shall check the scales when I get home. Time to go home and freeze my butt off in the bus. Actually I feel like breakfast at Tiong Bahru market but Tau Kee will just kill me.

"I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion below."

Sleep My Life Away

Fuck. Ya. Been blogging every single day without fail. What to do. Absolutely zilch life. Fuck crap. And I bloody slept my entire Friday away. Fantastic really. Missed e-Business project meeting and TmDevPol lecture again. I haven't been to a single TmDevPol lecture please. Fuck. So much for being a good student.

I guess I was really exhausted. Its either I don't sleep for days or I knock out dead to the entire world for at least 12 hours. When I woke up earlier at 1945, the sky was dark and all. I thought it was still the early morning and that I woke up like usual. Knn. Its Friday 1945 hours! PM not AM.

I'm still berating myself for not going to school and all. Fuck can. Honestly so bloody sick of clubbing. I don't even know why I fucking club really. Alcohol same old, same old music, same old crowd, same old everything. I think I'm just seriously bored. And clubbing seems to be the only thing to kill the nights where I can't sleep.

Now. Its Zouk? No Zouk? Zouk? Fucking hell irritating please. Seriously irritating. ARGH. Someone kill me. Damn cranky. I need some good old lovin' please.

"No, no, no, don't phunk with my heart."

Baby It's You

Back from Herstory. I'm tired yet wide awake. The irony. Feet and legs aching like mad due to a lil excessive dancing I think. I think it's the alcohol from Newsroom Bar that's keeping me up. It's just one of those "I haven't slept for more than 24 hours" days.

Today is just "Everything has to go wrong" day. Late for the meeting with the UWS people because we missed our exit at AYE and ended up in Bukit Timah. Fantastic. Got there all flustered and hot causing the damn meeting to be so disorganised. Now I'm not nit picking but it didn't go well. Don't even want to go into details.

Rushed home then rushed out to meet Tau Kee, Tau Pok and Seaweed at Tiong Bahru. Whole fucking day of rushing everywhere. 24 hours is really insufficient.

Feeling kinda hungry now but I'm just too damn tired and lazy to cook. Yes I'm cranky. Herstory was okay. Nothing to rave about. Was just milling around during the show and dancing after. Though it was nice to see some familiar faces.

I have to learn to stop thinking so much. Everything's getting to me again. I guess its just that I haven't slept and the added stress of so many fucking datelines in school. Simply just pure mayhem.

I think I've had about enough with the game of love. But then again, I'm always soft hearted. Add on the soft spot. Everyone can just forget about the first sentence in this paragraph. Nonsense la Andrea, really nonsense.

"Tell me what I want to hear."

Confessions and Secrets

Argh. Its 0324 hours and I'm still wide awake! Doesn't help that I have to wake up at 0700 later because I need to dress in formal for the damn meeting with UWS then rush back home after the meeting from Sentosa to change for clubbing. Busy busy busy.

Hell I don't even feel a tad bit sleepy please. So much for not mambo-ing. On the bright side, I managed to finish my research for Tourism Development Policies group project and issues case presentation and Hospitality & Tourism Seminars semester papers. I'm such a good girl of late, won't Santa grant my wish? Lol. -double beam- ((:

Going to start on the Educational Trip paper this weekend. Sigh. So many things to do, so little time. I've been seeing this on fellow HTM coursemates MSN nicks and blogs. This semester is seriously crazy. Oh well, another 2 and a half months and we graduate. Hang in there.

Flu is still as bad. Not good. Don't want to end up looking like Ruldoph at Herstory tomorrow. Spoil my reputation (or whatever is left of it) only. Argh. What to wear what to wear. I've decided on my bottom but not the top. I need new clothes ah. What to wear?! -pulls hair-

As you can tell, I'm super excited. Don't know why also. Lol. The Snowball and Seaweed gets to dance together tomorrow. Yay! Snowball gets to dance with Tau Pok and Tau Kee also. Hope the Fish Cake is going. Haha. I love the Yong Tau Foo clan. Okay, mad already.

Should I or should I not? -sighs-

"If it's lovin' that you want, make me your girl."

Square Rooms One

I've been really happy the past 2 days though its been really tiring with school. Project meetings every single day without fail. Not to mention, I've been attending every single tutorial and lecture. Kind of proud of myself. Now, please give me some credit. Or maybe someone can take me out or something to reward me. I want some pampering and attention.

Today it seems like I'm back to square one. I woke up at 1300 when my project was at 1300. By the time I rushed down to school it was 1400 and the meeting was over. Thank goodness it was just a discussion about attire and all for the meeting with the Underwater World people tomorrow or I would have missed out on a lot. Nevertheless, I still missed meeting and I feel like fuck.

I hate school because all my girls are in a different class. When I'm having a break, they're having lessons and vice versa. I hardly get to spend time with them. I hate it that I'm alone for the hardest and most stressful last semester. I end up killing time by smoking my lungs away alone at the reservoir.

I also hate school because I've become so infamous with the lecturers for being the girl who MIA-ed for three weeks and almost screwed up again. I hate it cause they pick on me just because of that. Most of the class was on MSN today and he only told me off. Fuck can.

To add on to my misery, I woke up with a bad flu and sore throat. Nose keeps (and still is) leaking and throat hurts like hell. Fantastic timing seriously.

So I came home after the tutorial where I felt like putting the tutor in a pot of hot oil. I'm such a good girl. No mambo for me tonight though it would really cheer me up but I know I can't. Priorities. Now I hate that word.

I've been thinking and thinking. I don't really what to do with you. I think I'm just going to forget it. I don't know. I'm too exhausted to even try now.

"Make me smile."

Car Rides & Ice Cream

School's seriously draining. No amount of reservoir breaks or coffee is helping me. Spoke to the tutors today. I'm given a chance to write the Educational Trip paper but my 5% participation is gone, so I'm going to have to work extra hard to earn the A I was aiming for cause after it is almost GP writing, the only thing I excel in.

2 submissions by next Friday. Edu trip paper (1,500 words) and Interim report for Tourism Development Policies. But at least I have 2 full weeks of holidays after next week. Something to work towards to.

After a long 10 hour day of tutorials, lectures and project meetings in school, Jac came to pick me up for our ice cream date and we headed straight for Siglap's Haagen-Dazs. Belgian Chocolate for me and Chocolate Chip for her. Pure bliss. Everyone knows I have a soft spot for ice cream, especially anything chocolate.

It was nice just sitting around reminiscing about the good old KC days and bitching updating each other on the lives of the rest of Year 2002. Though Jac and I were never really close but I guess its the bond as KC-ians that made everything so comfortable. Thanks to Jac now, I want my next girlfriend to drive! Lol. Kidding. Though it would be a big plus point. Haha.

Anyway, before I end this entry there's one thing I promised someone to do last night.

Hello my seaweed! Now here's one full paragraph specially dedicated to you okay? Haha. You stupid seaweed, always making fun of me and attempting your damn so not funny lame jokes. I remember that you were supposed to die last Friday but I was too tired from the lack of sleep to kill you. Better start counting your blessings. Okay, I'm tired. Another time. Love, Snowball. ((:

"Confessions of a broken heart"

The Butterfly Effect

I finally headed back to school today. I forgot about the hustle and bustle of campus and how mentally and physically tiring lectures and tutorials can be. Had a few sarcarstic "Welcome back to school." greetings but I'm taking it in my stride. I even forgot how much I used to enjoy school. I'm really tired now, physically and mentally that is. The past month has been such a whirlwind of events that it is starting to taking a toll on my poor pea sized brain and not so pea sized body.

Towning with the usual suspects even though I was dead tired. Coffee Club and Spinellis. Though I only managed to finish half of my Caesar Salad with Rosemary Chicken, Tau Pok did a clean wipe out for me. I need to try eating more cause I need the damn energy at this rate I'm going.

Tutorial at 1000 later followed by project meeting and lecture. Then I'm meeting Jac for my ice cream treat, fully sponsored including transportation. Woohoo~ Wednesday there's tutorials and project meetings. Thursday there's tutorial and meeting with the Sentosa people, which means heading to the island in formal wear -mutters- and Herstory after that.

Mother fucking hell busy. Then I need to clean my room and update my lecture and tutorial notes. 24 hours is not enough. -sighs and yawns- Oh, Seaweed commented that my entries are damn long. Better keep this short. Lol. ((:

Blog hits hit a all time high since its been open 2 years ago. 85 visits yesterday. ((:

I thought I saw you by the road when the bus went past your place earlier. Maybe I was just seeing things but it brought a tinge to my heart. I hope you're doing fine. (:

I need to take a time out with my emotions. Its been taking over me since a few months ago. Its time to take a quick check and get a hold on myself. I don't want to fall to fast and end up getting hurt. I'm scared since the last. But like Denise says and I quote, "My heart can't possibly break, When it wasn't even whole to start with."

"Dirty little secrets"

Make My Wish Come True

Another hour and a half to kill before I have to get ready for school. I should be doing something more productive (eg. clean my room) rather than blogging nonsense and chatting nonsense online with Jac (actually we're reminiscing about KC days and how old we are already).

We're planning to head back to KC next year to do some visiting (actually more to eat cheap yet good canteen food). I terribly miss Ms. Low. She's the only teacher I miss. I don't look forward to seeing Sng and the other teachers who gave me hell. I wasn't a bad student but I wasn't exactly an angel. Sec 1 and I already visited the principal's office. Shush. Just have to remind Quek (Yes you're going with me) and Jac to not dress so "Butch-like" and act girly. Haha. Quite impossible aye? I wonder if Peggy Tan would still think Quek and I are together. LOL. I'd like to see shock faces when they see us together. -sniggers-

I so want to Mambo on Wednesday, Herstory on Thursday, Phuture on Friday and Zoukout on Saturday but its impossible. Think I'll only end up Herstory-ing on Thursday and maybe Zoukout on Saturday. Bloody zero already. Plus I promised Leong no Mambo till holidays. -mutters- But I want square rooms. -whines-

Anyway, I've been clubbing like average of 3 days a week for the past 2 weeks. Its hell tiring and expensive though I get free alcohol most of the time. Cab fare and cigarettes are enough to burn a huge hole (which I have now) in my pockets. I wonder how some people can club so often. Kowtow man.

Then there's Christmas and New Year's Eve. Want to how busy and expensive. I need a job~ I need a girlfriend~ Its a damn hell month full of clubbing. Club club club my life away. I like. My theory is that I better enjoy my student life before I graduate and start working. Then by that time, no time to club and no time to find girlfriend.

Ya ya, I've been going on about needing a girlfriend. Should start posting up a personal ad on my blog. LOL. To Quek I've been going on and on about -Ahem and ahem-. Hey, at least mine's quite realistic. I know them, talk to them online and get to see them once in awhile. Cookie cookie. Oooh, Olivia Olson's All I want for Christmas is You is playing.

People tell me that I'm not unwanted and that I'm picky. The problem is, I really am unwanted so what is there to be picky about?! There's nothing to pick about in the first place. -fainted- So please, if you like me, TELL ME LA. So I can start picking. Ya la, I'm picky but I swear that as of now, there's nothing to nit pick.

But hor, now I only want her and her. Tell me how?! Jac tells me to just take only. If only its that easy. Okay, I think I'm going mad thinking about them. Enough. Its becoming some sort of obsession.

Oh ya. The next time I see Tits I'm going to scold her. She gave my number to someone on Saturday! Omg. I want to kill her. Thank god the person didn't message me. I cannot survive without my Ba Chor Mee and Wanton Mee if you get my gist. Knn. Smack her.

---

*update: 1125 hours

OMFG. I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT NE FORUM LAST SATURDAY. CLUB LA, CLUB SOMEMORE YOU MOFO. -faints- Great, now I don't need to graduate.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is
You... yeah yeah

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
(and I) Don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
(and I) I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You baby

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere (so brightly yeah)
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing (oh yeah)
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need -
won't you please bring my baby to me...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You and you and you...

All I want for Christmas is you.."

All I Want For Christmas Is You And You

In random order:

- Moto RAZR V3 in Pink
- Havaianas Trekking in Gold
- Levi's Hangout Jeans
- Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Hardcover)
- Converse Chuck Taylors, High Cut in Black, White or Grey
- Girlfriend (Technically, you and you)

Lol. The last one is just a random thought. You and you refer to 2 different people. -sighs-

Its 0602 hours now. I just woke up at 0300. Fantastic. 15 hours of sleep. Though I was interrupted by Quek who came over to take her stuff, and although I refused to get out of bed so she took her stuff and got my sister to open and close the door for her but she interrupted my beauty sleep!

My biological clock is screwed. Day becomes night and night becomes day. When everyone is up and about, I'm asleep and vice versa. Going to fix it today so I'm not going to sleep then go straight for lessons then come home and comatose. Lucky I have Ashley who's as mad as me to chat the night away the past few days. Haha.

Everyone prepare yourselves to not receive any Christmas present from me because I'm broke. Need to search for a job soon. Although hopefully I get a secret admirer who can buy me one of the above. Lol. Hoping for God knows what seriously.

K, I'm bored. I need a girlfriend. Christmas and New Year's Eve is going to be so boring. I need a girlfriend. I want you and you please. Hahaha.

---

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on

"So scandalous"

Baby I'm Back

Those who know me well would know that this is one of my all time favourite songs; Baby I'm Back - Baby Bash Featuring Akon. Yes I'm back. Not in full force as of yet but I'm back. I shan't go into details about what exactly woke me up from this deep slumber but I'm back. Okay I know, point noted. (:

Its 0758 hours as I type with the above mentioned song, 2 Play - So Confused and Natasha Bedingfield - I Bruise Easily on repeat. The three songs have been replaying themseleves over and over again in my head anyway. Total reflection of my confused status now.

I haven't slept at all for the past 44 hours and I am still wide awake. This is getting a little out of hand. Yesterday or rather the past 24 hours have been really tiring mentally and physically. I'm rather surprised that I am not a tad bit sleepy. I received the most number of scoldings from various people (You guys know who you are) within 24 hours. Ironically, thank you. Really, I mean it.

It is interesting how people from your past come back to "haunt" you. I mean "haunt" in 2 very different perspectives. One was a "hate" mail which consisted the most brutal words and metaphors that one can think of, from an old friend. Thank you for remembering me in my times of needs. I appreciate it. (:

The other has just been always there hanging around waiting to pounce like a feline would on its prey, metaphorically speaking. Honestly, I'm getting bored even before anything has even started. I'm just going to take it as far as I would because you seriously don't mean anything. Boring.

I've been seeing and hearing a couple of old sayings of late. That since "Life is already at rock bottom, it can't get any worse.", "Your happiness is within your own grasp, grab it, don't waste it." and "There is always a first for everything.". The three sentences just keep running through my head. Go figure.

With all honestly, I really pray that it can't get any worse than it is because its in a huge mess like my room is and its going to take awhile to clean up. Then something happens that might just prove the statement wrong, that worse things can happen.

I know I'm speaking in riddles but I will fill you in if I think you need to know. Be patient and wait for your turn. Fish Cake Queky Poo, when you're done with your hangover, read this and prepared yourself for another shock (because I'm kinda shocked myself) message me immediately. Oh my god, I'm dying keeping this secret to myself. Faster. You have to be the first to hear this. FASTER. Lol.

This is going to take awhile. It has nothing to do with my past, nothing to do with the girl who wasn't. Its a whole new ball game and I'm stuck. Fabulous.

Psst: Go figure; Lyrics.

*update: 1012 hours.

I am still awake. So dead. At this rate I'm going, I'm going to break my personal record of not sleeping for 60 hours. The 3 songs are still repeating. Lol.

Random thought. I feel like repainting my whole room. Obviously not possible because my sister and my mum would think I've gone nuts if I suggest that to them. Then again it is, because previously I painted my whole room by myself. Thinking of some pretty wall art. Aiya, why must I share the room with the lil prick. Actually I think I just need some oil paints, canvas and brushes. I miss painting.

Zoukout or no Zoukout? But I want to Mambo. No more Mambos and week day clubbing for me till holidays and special occasions. Like Herstory. Die also must go.

I almost forgot about my annual Christmas card tradition. This year, its going to be something different, like you know, different. Plus, I thought of the perfect Christmas present to myself. Yes I believe in pampering myself. Now, keep your eyes peeled.

Ooh. Time to write the Christmas wish list again. Next entry. I'm feeling the Christmas mood. I've already got a few items noted in my head. ((: Problem is, what am I going to do on Christmas Eve? There has been a slight change of mind with plans. All thanks to Gemma. I bet we will end up following Gemma's plan. -looks at Yong Tau Foo clan-

I feel like some Ben and Jerrys now. Argh. Cannot. Resist. Fat fat fat. Buy me a tub and I'll give you a peck on the cheek underneath the mistletoe this Christmas. If you can find a mistletoe that is.

"I think I'm losing my head over you girl. More than my head actually."

Sloshed

I know many are upset and disappointed with me. That most have already given up trying to get to me to head to school. Yes I lied, 3rd week in a row I haven't attended lessons because I don't even know why.

Its not that I overslept or can't wake up like before. Like I mentioned before, I have so much trouble sleeping of late that I barely sleep and look like a tanned panda walking around. The only time I actually sleep well is when I'm drunk.

Which would be my next point, I got drunk again last night. This time around, it was as bad as the previous Zouk experience. Like dead drunk except the difference was I was awake and puking my guts out. So much so that Jamie's guy friends had to send Leong and I back to her place because there was no way Leong could carry me.

After much contemplation, I left my house at 2330, cabbed down to Zouk and jumped queue and got in. Zouk was mother fucking packed. So much so I was pissed and irritated for that 1 over hour we were there. Then I suggested going over to China Black because no mambo song was going to make me any happier and plus, Phuture was full house, didn't even get to step in.

It was at China Black where I got sloshed. Screwdrivers and Whiskey Dry. Lost count of the cups then the killer, Moet. Damn the bloody champagne. My gastric really hurts like hell now. Hang over of the century I tell you. Doesn't help that I have a 10 page report to be completed by tomorrow 1700 hours. Oh, I haven't started.

Tuesday met 3/4 of the Yong Tau Foo clan. Actually we're all like empty yong tau foo shells without the fish paste. Sat around Spinelli's and basically just stoned and moped around. All we do is mope. Girlfriend please! Herstory next Thursday, like yay. Time to pick some people up instead of waiting for nothing to happen. I've been like getting horny guys picking me up at clubs. I think I need to tattoo the word lesbian on my head. I want GIRLS okay. Tsk.

After much contemplation again because I thought I wasn't going to club on Wednesday, I bugged Leong and we headed to Chinablack for Gemma's birthday party/CJC Prom Bash. Loads of unexperienced JC dancing like I don't know what. But it was fun. R&B all night. Deviation from all the mambo and house music. Yes I'm spending all my money on clubbing. Perfect Andrea. Just fantastic.

Yes I asked for it. I deserve it. I even deserve getting kicked out of school. Maybe that's what I want. All I do now is club, drink and get drunk. Fantastic. I should consider my career as a club critic and write a book on why you should get dead drunk.

Seriously, I don't really care what you guys think. Because if anyone really cared, show me, ask me. Stop pretending that I'm okay. Because I'm obviously not. I don't know how to pick things up and move on. No I'm not going to stop clubbing because that's the only one thing keeping me from killing myself.

Ya ya, I'm the only one who can help myself now. Doesn't anyone get it, I'm sick and tired of having to help myself because I'm just totally helpless now. I don't know what's going on, I don't know why I've become so. I'm sick of people telling me that I'm the only one who can help myself, that everything is going to be fine. Because its NOT OKAY.

Know what. Fuck seriously. Just fuck off. Even I don't care anymore so just leave me alone.

"I bruise easily, so be gentle"

The Time Has Come

If I still continue with my MIA status in school, it would be the 3rd week and I think its time to get over my moping/holiday period and start getting my ass back into school. I've already missed 2 whole weeks of lessons and I'm absolutely clueless about all the modules. I don't even feel stressed about all the projects which are so damn close to the submission dates.

Not to mention that I skipped the whole educational trip which means I'm in deep trouble because its 20% of coursework, which means I might just jolly well get debarred from the whole module. Going to school later to plead my case and hopefully my maximum sentence would be just getting zero out of the 20% and having to ace the rest of the coursework component to avoid failing. Yes, I screwed up again. Fantabulous. Well done. -scowls-

Then when I'm determined to not skip anymore tutorials, project meetings and lectures, tutorial and lecture is cancelled. What a bummer. But I'm still going to school. -mutters-

All I've done the past 2 weeks is crying and clubbing instead of going to school like I should. Fucking hell. Then I realise that SIP Portfolio is due this Friday. A whole 10 pages of crap that I have to bullshit about. Screwed screwed screwed. Oh well, I'm going to meet Leong at the National Library later at 1330 so she can study proper for exams (instead of clubbing) and I can work on the portfolio.

I finally watched Mr. Potter earlier with a very unwilling Queky. One word, disappoinment. Actually it should be two words, MAJOR disappoinment. Right from the start to the end, I spotted like so many deviations from the original story. I can understand if they took out parts due to time constraints but why alter the story?! And why did they take out the Quidditch World Cup and the part where Dudley Dursley ate the Ton Tongue Toffee?! I'm sure many Potter fans were dying to see Krum in action and Dudley with a four foot tongue but no, they took it out. -grumbles-

Cedric Diggory is pretty cute but I still think Potter is way cuter. -looks at Leong- Cho Chang has this really strong accent, either Scottish or Irish. Hermione is still as pretty and Ron Weasley has grown a lot. LOL. Oh oh, I think the Weasley twins (Fred & George) are pretty cute as well. Lol. Okay, why am I talking about how cute or uncute each of the characters are. Though I expected Lord Voldermort to be way scarier in full form. Somebody give me a wand now and I'll do the 3 unforgivable curses on a few people. Nonsense again.

My mind isn't wandering to places as much as a week ago. Most of the time my head is just pretty blank. Maybe Potter should take Occulmency lessons from me instead of Snape. Okay, Potter overload. I've stopped crying as well, stopped imagining things, stopped contemplating suicide but I'm still not eating and not sleeping well. Its been hard, a really terrible two weeks of my life but I'm much better now. Not totally okay yet but at least I'm moving on.

To Cowshit, everything will work itself out. God has his own plans for us. Hang in there dear, I'm here like you were for me. Love you girl.

To Tau Pok, I guess you know who you are. If you don't, I'll remind you, "Don't lie on my ni ni". LOL. I know you're probably feeling how I felt about 2 weeks ago. You'll be fine once you learn to let go. Don't make me slap you cause you know I will and we'll end up fighting. I don't really know what to say but hang in there, I'm here. You can lie on my "NI" if you want to. LOL LOL.

To Fish Cake, my new nick name for QUEKY POO POO. Goodness, that sounded disgusting but anyway, thank you for everything dear. Yes I will start going to school. So I can start bugging you to come over to Business Reservoir to smoke. Love you very very very much too. Too bad I'm not Cookie, if not you'll love me very very much too. Lol.

Aiya, everyone's out of love. Welcome to the club. We're all on clearance sale. Leave me a comment if you're interested. Merlin's beard, I think I've gone off my rockers. Portfolio bullshit time. -mutters-

---

*update: 0745 hours

Almost 0800 in the morning and I'm still awake. In fact my sister is also wide awake and we both have not slept since yesterday. Its quite frustrating not being able to sleep when you're physically just so tired. At least someone else in this house or someone else for that matter understands my frustration now.

My head really hurts from the lack of sleep. 2 bloody weeks of a few hours of sleep everyday, I'm suffering from a permanent headache. Nightmares still jolt me right awake from my sleep. Someone either just wants me dead soon or just wants me to suffer.

So around 0600, the lil brat and I (or rather me) got pretty bored with surfing the net (we were doing online window shopping together) and I suggested going down for breakfast. It was pretty hilarious as the two of us were stoning like rocks while eating breakfast and complaining about how full we were and all. Some kind of sisterly bonding over prata, beehoon, coffee, tea and newspapers.

Not going to school anymore cause I figured that Mr. Fung is busy with pre booked consultations and he wouldn't be bothered with someone who didn't bother to turn up for the trip. E-mailed him instead and prolly look for him on Wednesday.

Arggh. My head fucking hurts. And its all your fault. Okay, not your fault. I can't think proper now. Fuck fuck fuck.

"As much as I try not to, I still miss you."

I Need A Girlfriend

LOL. This is Queky's blog entry title, as well as what Leong has been repeating to me on a daily basis. We all need a girlfriend. Seriously. But its okay, we all have each other. I love you guys! (:

At Leong's now. Walked back from River Valley where we had supper after club hopping actually more like club shuffling. Headed to Hard Rock then to Liquid Room then back to Hard Rock and then back to Liquid. Long story about why we were shuffling between the 2 clubs, all I can say is that I was pretty pissed. Sorry guys, my bad. Plus for the first time, I clubbed with my lil brat sister. Haha. So weird.

Its funny how we say we're going to club and look for cute butches and pretty girls when we all just end up moaning about the ex-es when we hear a song that reminds us of them. I think the problem is, where the hell have all the goodlooking single PLUs gone to?! Bloody disappear when you need them. 3 nights in a row and we're still whining about the same old thing. We're such morons.

Somehow, everyone seems to be suffering from a heart break of sorts now. At least the people around me. Everyone is either moaning, groaning, crying or staring into space. Leong doesn't know what to cry about, I just can't seem to cry anymore. I finally ran out of tears. Its about time I ran out of tears anyway.

Sappy love songs are on repeat as I type and as Leong snoozes away. Actually there are cute butches around. -looks at Leong- Its just that none of us seem interested or they aren't interested. Either way, it sucks. Stupid stupid. I think if you put Drake in front of me now I'll prolly just ignore her. Hahaha.

Aiya, nonsense la. Again, I don't know why I'm blogging. Nonsense, everything is just nonsense. Serious nonsense. Time to go home.

"Tease me, tempt me. Make me fall for you."