I Will Be

Today, in a very long time (excluding the 2nd day of CNY), I got up before noon. I know, amazing how much I can sleep right?

And it has proven itself to be shitty. I'm not exactly feeling very well, physically that is, God only knows why. Emotionally, I'm a wreck. There's something wrong, but I don't exactly know what. Even if I do, I still prefer to pretend that I don't anyway. Life's a bit easier that way I guess.

When I finally got on 506 for a long bus ride from Bukit Batok to Bedok Resevoir, I felt a bit better. I like long bus rides alone, probably the rare few times where I get to be completely alone with my thoughts.

The moment the bus arrived at the east side, it started pouring. Like, raining cats and dogs. Seriously, of all days when I didn't bring an umbrella, it had to rain. When I'm not taking a cab, in Su's car but when I take public transport. Didn't help that I was in a super short cotton dress which would become see through in the rain and fly in all directions with the wind blowing. Thank God I bumped into mum's bf downstairs and he passed me his umbrella or I'd be so drenched.

Then I came home to another surprise. I am thoroughly annoyed, completely pissed off and what have you.

It has gone way pass ridiculous, in fact, it's getting childish. It was a damn misunderstanding, I'm a fucking girl, yet I can put it behind me and try to be nice and pretend nothing happened because I know both our egos are too huge to apologise to one another. So the best solution out is to pretend nothing happened.

Yet, you, who call yourself a guy, is unable to do the same. Men and their egos. So you wanna play hard ball with me, you've got it. I'm done, I'm done being nice.

Congratulations, you've won yourself a chance to see me be mean.

You know why it's ridiculous? Because I come back home to my own home for God's sake and have to see some one's black face throughout. And I can't get my mum involved because she'd probably take sides, not with me mind you.

This is why I hate coming home now. I absolutely abhor it. WoW was the only way to get me distracted, now, whatever.

I'm in one of those moods, where I don't really want to talk to anyone.

`Spinning: Leona Lewis - I Will Be