Losing Grip

Its raining and windy outside. Perfect weather to snuggle under the covers and doze off while reading a good novel.

Home. How I hate this word now. A dysfunctional family you must have to understand how I feel. Its not even a family. Hah.

Awaking to the familiar surroundings every morning, my first thoughts are to get out of this hell hole. Returning home just evokes a sense of disgust and fear in me.

The 5 day chalet was a good chance for me to think things through and enjoy some tranquility that I can only get in the wee hours at home.

Kudos to everyone who made the chalet possible. Especially the guys who planned it. It was fantastic guys.

Delectable food, glorious alcohol, nicotine fixes and lastly fantastic company. -hugs the gang.

Results are out. Didn't do that fantastic. Fall in ranking but at least an increase of 0.11 in GPA score. Fucktard. I only have myself to blame for not attending accounts lecture.

At least I passed accounts. Thanks to Jem, Joseph, Chy, Ryl and Stewart for the 9 hour crash course. It really helped. :)

Losing grip on everything. Life's a mess. Fucking screwed. Can't seem to find the strength to stand up after the fall.

I'm turning into an alcoholic. Great. Not only do I have a fucked biological clock, I'm addicted to nicotine, now addicted to alcohol. The craves just wouldn't stop. Fuck.

Vacation CDS starts on Monday. Morning slot. Great shit. Fuck. Joseph, I'm 90% sure we're in the same class. VT5? At least I have company. :)

Caught The Pacifier after work just now. Impromptu thingy. So was in my uniform. The show wasn't really funny. I didn't laugh? I guess it was just my mood.

Then I had to bump into the ex-boyfriend from hell. I hope he didn't see me in my uniform though. I will die. Literally went "Fuck he's there. Let's go". Hah.

Everything is just going wrong at the same time. Everything.

Queky, thanks for everything. I really don't know what I would do without a best friend like you. You've always been there for me the past 4 years. No one loves me like you do. -big smile. Thanks for believing in me when the whole world doesn't. I love you duck. -big hug.