Eeyore

I'm sure everyone knows Eeyore the donkey from Winnie the Pooh and Friends. That lil blue donkey with a kite string for a tail. Moping all day long all because of his tail, going: "Oh no~".

I've been feeling like Eeyore the past few days and I'm sick and tired of moping about. Seriously sick and tired of it. I've lost interest in school, friends and what nonsense you can think of. To be honest, I didn't turn up for a single tutorial this week. Went for one measly lecture and that was it. I know I'm going to be killed by a lot of people by making this confession but I don't really care anymore.

Clubbing isn't helping much either. All the alcohol and couples just makes me barf and feel worse. Then again, I didn't want to go. Marilyn, Ryl, Jerms and I don't know who else were begging me like hell especially my 2 girls because it would be their last mambo till school ends.

Mambo-ing was just bleah. I was just totally not in the mood at all. Came home to reveal a disgusting looking fist sized bruise on my right thigh. All for a $2 note I saw laying about on the dance floor while I was up on the podium. No, I did not fight with anyone. Almost did, but I didn't. Drunkards are just such a public nuisance seriously.

Project meeting at noon tomorrow. Seriously I just want to stay home in my bed for the rest of the week but I will not. I think I've had about enough being like some zombie grieving about death when its already dead for nothing or rather for something that will never happen or even someone who doesn't give a flying shit whether I'm dead or alive.

Seriously, I just refuse to leave my house because every fucking thing I see, hear or even smell reminds me of her in one way or another. Mambo (because we were supposed to mambo next week and especially the damn music), my bloody bus stop, the table and chairs at my void deck, stray cats (I don't know why but I think it has to do with Bobby), Next menthol cigarettes, Tampines Mall, Harry Potter (Now there's no one to watch with me) and the list just doesn't fucking end.

Believe it or not I have yet to unpack from my Batam trip. I just refuse to. Everything is just in my Ripcurl duffel bag lying on my room floor. I want to get over it and move on but I don't really know where to start. I know its over and there's no chance of it coming back, I just need some time and I'll be fine or at least I think so.

"Rid me of your scars"