Love Me Or Not

I'm angry, I'm tired, I'm upset and I don't want to care anymore.

Yes I wear my heart on my sleeves thus, every emotion of mine shows. I can put on my poker face and lie when it's necessary but generally I am unable to because guilt overcomes me.

I swear incessantly, I smoke, I drink, I'm a complete sloth/slob, I can be extremely bitchy and arrogant if I want to, I'm sensitive, I have suicidal thoughts, I'm insensitive, I'm selfish, I'm vain and a complete useless piece of human crap.

*edit: Oh I forgot to add, I don't know when to keep my fucking mouth shut.

So yes, I have my shortcomings, I'm not perfect, I never said I was. I make mistakes like every single one of you.

According to God, I'm definitely going to hell. Well, so be it.

I'm exhausted by all these shit, really I am. One thing for sure, I never did anything against my conscience. I may regret some of my decisions but what's done cannot be undone.

For those whom I have wronged in any way, I am sorry, I really am. If you are unable to accept my apology then I don't know what else to do. When it comes to friends, I have done nothing against any single one of you, just to gain anything but the friendship.

If I'm deemed as unworthy as a friend, that's your call too. I'm tired of struggling with such things. I give up, you guys win okay? I'm the bitch. The end.

Zen is right. They say, fuck the truth but the truth usually fucks you.

I never knew I was such a horrible friend.

`Spinning: Corrinne May - Everything In It's Time