After blogging for almost 2 years, I don't know If I blogged about this. Maybe not all of it. But some.

My Story

I had a wonderful life. From the day I was born, I was the apple of the eye of everyone in my family. Loved by my parents and both sides of my grandparents. I got what I wanted. Dressed in branded from top to toe. My mum bought her Gucci and Prada when she wanted. So I was spoilt. I am still spoilt. Somehow.

My dad was a smart and hardworking man. SJI student and not to mention from a rich family. My mum was a loving mum. But of course a lil fierce at times. My dad never laid a finger on me. Never. He has never hit me. Not once. I was truly loved. But that didn't stop him from hitting my mum.

My life started changing in late Primary 4. I hardly got to see my dad. His business was booming. Which was good of course. But like any of his male counterparts. He could not resist the things that money brought him. He started gambling. Loan Sharks. I've met them. Nothing new to me. Family abuse. Been there done that. Parents getting divorced. Nothing new too. Infidelity. Screw the men.

Somewhere in Primary 5, I started being independent. Took the public bus to school with my sister. I had the responsibility to look after her. Hardly saw my dad anymore. Like every child I slept early. But one fateful night. I woke up to screaming, shouting and crying. I was so scared. I didn't dare to go out. My lil sis woke up soon after. I decided to go out. But told my sis to stay in the room no matter what happened. I witnessed my father beating my mother up. The memories are still fresh in my head. He took the iron and threw it at my mum. Which hit her hard. I got scared and naturally started crying and pleading for him to stop. He didn't. My mum was lying on the bed in pain and he continued. The next thing I knew was I was right in front of my mum. Trying my best to protect her. Like I said, my dad never laid a finger on me. The moment I jumped in front of my mum. He stopped. I vaguely remember my mum taking us to her best friend's house for a couple of days. That was when she went to the police. Then I knew. This wasn't the first time.

He was an absolute asshole. The last time I saw him was in Primary 6. The last thing he bought me was my Playstation. His promises were never fulfilled. Including the last one. He promised to come back for us when his business took a better turn. But I never saw him ever since. Never.

After that, I changed. Somehow. Trust and promises are big things to me. I don't trust easily and value promises. My close friends would know how much promises mean to me. I became a girl full of hatred. Anyone who offended me would not have a peaceful day. Never. And I remember who let me down. For life. I became sensitive to everything and I still am. I even slapped my best friend in Sec 2 which resulted us fighting literally in school. Sorry Sel Darling! From Sec 1 to Sec 2. For two whole years, I hardly saw my mum. My sis and I literally became orphans with parents and money. My mum went out of town constantly, went clubbing almost every other day. It was that two years that changed me completely.

People from my primary school would say. Drea you were such a nerd in Primary school. I even remember Hannah telling me, I hated you in Primary school cause you were such a nerd. Lol. I've been to the principally office for drawing on my teacher's skirt in Secondary school. The discipline mistress brought the whole group of us down cause we confronted a girl. But I was just standing at the back of the group listening what they said to her. In house suspension for playing Dai Dee in class. My Sec 4 was the cleanest year I had. But the worst of all. My best friends all turned against me. Fell in depression and lost weight. I put all my heart and soul into Painting. The end result was my darling unicorn.

The after O'levels I started working. I disappeared for about a whole 6 months. Didn't contact a single person. Not one. I've grown immune to the pain. The last time I broke down because of my dad was in Sec 2. Its been 6 years since I saw him. He has another family now. Sometimes I wonder if he remembers he has 2 grown up daughters. I guess we mean nothing to him now.

Now when I'm down and out. I want to pick up my oils, brushes and canvas again. To paint. To put all the sadness into something that will turn out beautiful. I will do just that. One day.

Now, I have my lovely friends. My lovely mum and my not so lovely sister. I worry about my sister the most. She has never spoken anything about the divorce. Not once. I remember her lying to friends about the divorce when she was younger. Her studies are a flop and she's more rebellious than I was at her age. Anyhow, I still love her. To my best friends, Sel and Quek. Thanks for being there. I love you guys the most. To my baby Beef, thanks for taking care of me. Giving me allowance when my mum doesn't give me money for the whole month. Lastly thanks for loving me. I love you. To my buddies, Leong, Ryl, Chy and whoever else. Thanks for supporting me and loving me for who I am.

To the people who have disappointed me and done me wrong. I love you too. But you'll go to hell. So I'm okay with it.*grins. To the women my dad were with and is with. I hope the asshole gives you STD. That includes your kids. Love you. *muack muack.

I'm still a bitch. That will never change. Somethings never change.

To that someone who I tagged on your blog. I know you might be reading this. Just remember, there are many people who love you. Don't give up on yourself and hurt yourself. God gave you this life. Treasure it. At least we're not physically ill. But somehow, mentally and emotionally, we're not as normal as the rest. Stay happy anyhow.

Back to my projects. Bugger.