Emotional

Time check. Its 0820 now. I haven't got a wink of sleep yet. Fuck. Was "studying" till about 5 then tried to sleep. Laid in bed for almost 3 hours and I just couldn't get to sleep. Fuck. Work later at 1500. Fuck. Having a slight headache now, I think due to the lack of sleep. Fuck. *scream. I'm so pissed, so stressed. Like the title says, I'm feeling emotional. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Weighed myself yesterday for the fun of it as my sis was weighing herself to check how much weight she loss during her 5 day marathon fever. She lost 2 kgs. Ditto for me. Fuck. I got a rude shock of my life when I saw the scale. - 2kgs = 42kgs. Fuck. This is getting too ridiculous. My mum is going to take me to the doctor soon if this continues. What if I'm diagnosed with some cancer or what. How?! When I was "normal" at 46kgs, I was already borderline underweight. Now what? Fucking under under weight?! Someone please tell me what to do.

Then there's the SIP. I'm fucking worried. Is CX going to be the only Airline available? Its literally 180 Tourism Students (let's say everyone wants to do Airline) killing each other for 8 vacancies. God please. I'm worried about SIP, worried about projects, worried about not being able to get up, worried about my weight. My appetite's fine. Just that I don't eat as much as before and everytime I try, I feel pukish but I have never puked my food. *sighs. Someone please please please tell me what to do. I'm desperate.

Sometimes I get emotional
Sometimes I do some stupid things
Something I say what I should keep inside

Sometimes I'm sad about everything
Sometimes I'm mad and break some things
Sorry times ten but you just got in the way

Don't get up now Running away
I wont hurt you
Sometimes I'm just a pain
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am

Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Life is always easy
But sometimes
I'm just scared to leave me
That's when I feel ..... emotional

You say I'm just impossible
Totally unpredictable
I'm just a girl, get used to it
No big deal
You cant change me
Why would you try I'm no angel, but I can make you smile

And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am