Sunday, June 26, 2005

Numbers On The Scales

Seriously, I doubt anyone would want to know how to put on weight. It seems like everyone's more interested in "How to lose weight". So anyway, I'll just list 5 methods on "How to put on weight" and "How to lose weight".

How to put on weight:
1. Make sure you have at least 3 full meals a day.
2. Get an office job and snack between meal times.
3. Daily dosage of ice cream or chocolates after lunch.
4. When you are bored, get creative and cook yourself something new.
5. Don't bother exercising.

How to lose weight:
1. Make sure you don't have more than 1 meal a day.
2. Sleep in the day and wake up at night. (Thus you miss all your meals)
3. Survive on Instant Noodles.
4. Find something to make you suffer from depression and insomnia at the same time.
5. Nicotine fixes curbs your hunger.

I'm not saying every method is absolutely healthy, then again, none of them are healthy but what the fuck, diets are equally unhealthy.

You must be wondering why in the world am I blogging this at 6 am in the morning. It's because I just cooked myself a plate of fried rice and a sunny side up. I swear I can cook. Bloody shiok.

Add on the fact that I've had a packet of instant noodles, 1 cup of cup noodles, half a huge pack of potato wedges, 2 hashbrowns and 1 cup of milo all within 12 hours. (including the fried rice I just had).

Guess what? I'm meeting Quek in awhile for MacDonald's breakfast. How not to get fat put on weight like that?!

"I'll take you to the candy shop"

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