When All Falls Down

Have you ever screwed up so badly that you feel like murdering yourself? Do you blame yourself? Or do you blame your destiny?

Never in my life have I screwed up so badly. Not once. I've always been the daughter that my family doesn't need to worried about, education wise. I'm no honors student, nor do I score distinctions but I do relatively well enough to pass and get into a proper decent course like Tourism.

I saw this coming but was obviously living in denial. The truth hurts. Everything seems so meaningless now. As much as I used to complain about school, the projects, exams, internship and what other nonsense, I wish I can call myself a student again.

De-registered and failed. How I detest the sight of these two words.

I'll miss the campus. I'll miss my 3 girls, Chy, Ryl and Marilyn. I'll miss the gang, Shaun, Joseph, Kerrie, Jem, Trev, Jo, Ron and Becks. I'll miss Miss Tan. I'll miss the computer labs. I'll miss the bookshop. I'll miss Quek's visits. I'll miss smoking at the reservoir. I'll miss running to tutorials cause I'm late. I'll miss everything about school.

I feel so incoherent. Nothing seems to make sense. My head hurts.