Karma

What goes around, comes around. This damn cliche phrase is probably a truth within itself that everyone experiences once in their lives. This year alone, I've screwed up so many times till I have lost count. Major screw up twice and trust me, twice is more than enough.

Let's see, I got fired from my previous internship company and almost got myself kicked out of school, attempted suicide, sleeping problems got worst, screwed up idea of relationships and clubbed like there was no tomorrow when I was single and the usual nonsense.

The last time I met Bessy, she mentioned that now she knows how it felt like to be in my shoes when I was with her, the silence torture. I told her I know how it felt like to be in her shoes, the "submissive". We laughed about karma.

We both love our respective partners very much although it took awhile getting used to switching "roles". At least that statement was made by me. I have always been the dominant half in the relationship with all my nonsensical demands. Now I'm not saying that Jacy has nonsensical demands but she is the fiercer one this time round.

My point is, KARMA. Okay no, that's part of my point but not the whole point. My point is, is love really everything? Truthfully, it isn't. Been there, done that so I know. If that is so, why am I finding so hard to let go?

Is it because I'm not the one who's giving up? Or is it because I know I've been the one screwing up? Or is it because I've fallen so hard this time without even realising it? Or is it because I haven't truly been myself for the past 7 months? Or is it because I can't handle that fact that I'm being dumped? Maybe, it's as simple as I've given so much, its a waste to let it go.

Whatever the reason may be, whatever the ending turns out to be, happiness is when you see your loved one happy. I will let go. When I'm able to handle that, I will.

"Everything means nothing if I ain't got you"