Gone In Every Context

Jie was right, I exploded, in the wrong way though. Breaking down is hard to do.

So Jie got drunk and so did Bessy and I. All because Bessy and I were helping her to finish up the damn lethal drinks (Sambucca Shots, Flaming Lambo, Tequila Pop, Waterfall and some pure alcohol crap) the Phunk Bar people were feeding her.

I drank half a Tequila Pop and 3/4 a Waterfall for her. All on an empty stomach. So smart Andrea.

I did not plan to get drunk because I hate puking and I'm having the hangover of the century. Plus, I was a horrible drunk last night, I couldn't stop crying. I guess alcohol and emotions don't go well together.

I'd like to thank Bel and Jo for taking care of me. Thank you both for being so patient when I was such a crying and puking wreck.

To Jie, I'm sorry you spent your birthday watching me cry like a total fucktard. I hope you had fun puking with me.

---

I don't know what went wrong. Everything just seems so dark, empty and incomplete.

2404 is fucking jinxed. I told all of you that over and over again but no one ever believes in me. I'll be working my entire birthday week away. That is if I ever make it alive to turn 20.

3rd year in a row I'll be spending my birthday without someone special. I'll survive. This year, I'm just going to stay home and stay in bed with the help of sleeping pills. At least that way, it won't be the 4th year in a row I spend my birthday crying like a fucking moron because I'll be asleep.

I'll be fine, or I think so. It's time to pop those pills so I can sleep in peace.

I'll be as strong as I can, I'll try. But if I fail, I'm sorry.

"So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted?
Could it be I'm haunted?

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
Best I ever..."